[synopsis from a free retelling and my own reflections after watching A. Langley’s lecture] Aggressor/aggression - general thoughts. When we encounter the fact that we are experiencing “aggression”, what exactly is meant? The term “aggression” itself is shrouded in different beliefs, most often it comes down to “victim” / “aggressor”, where there is one who is “to blame” and one who “blames”. What if you are a person who is faced with something that aggression is inside you? How do you feel when you realize you can be aggressive? What are your beliefs/assessments about this condition? What is aggression to you? I am convinced that everyone’s answers may be different depending on individual experience, everyone’s personal history and how you explain aggression and its meaning to yourself. For some, this is a form of manifestation of oneself in the world, the energy of “doing”/action is an act of “aggression”, which is perceived in a “positive way” and, as it were, this explains assertiveness, proactivity, etc. Aggression as a form of interaction with a world where even (here I turn to the digestive metaphor): when biting off an apple, we show an aggressive action “towards the apple”, biting and chewing it. For some, the word “aggression” is associated with various forms of physical and emotional violence. And people who have experienced this may encounter the phenomenon of “identification with the aggressor”: when I realize that now I am doing the same thing as they once did to me. That now I am the “aggressor” with whom I once was. And there may be an interweaving/merging of different concepts into one concept: where any active manifestations of oneself and actions will be associated with “suppression” due to the fear of “becoming an aggressor” and/or discovery of this aggressiveness in oneself and “suppression” of any forms, in which this may somehow manifest itself. And such a choice without a choice is obtained. Are you familiar with this? Types of interaction with the outside world To move on to the topic of aggression, it is worth touching on the topic of interaction with the outside world. A. Langle highlights: - active decision-making: when I actively make a decision and give my consent to what is happening to me. - there is something that happens according to the “stimulus-response” type: Through automatic reactions: conscious, but without “my participation”, without making a decision that “yes, I choose this way,” but they fall into the zone of awareness. And there are unconscious coping strategies, the goal of which is “to survive.” That is, in the first case, I realize, make a decision and agree with my choice. Essentially, I am aware of what is happening, what the consequences of my choice may be, and I consciously choose something. In the second case, there is something that I am aware of, “understand”, but there is no active position in this, there is no active “I choose this way, but there is “this is something I do, but I don’t understand why”, “this is happening with me,” etc. And the third reactions: essentially reflexes: a loud sound, and the head turns involuntarily in the direction of the sound. This is what is programmed in the subcortex. According to Langla, a person is aggressive not because “he is angry” or because he has “weak character.” Aggression always exists when there is a threat to survival (threat to life/even “non-physical”) Stages of response to danger: Stage 1: basic movement to danger: running (energy is present, growing, actively used) Stage 2: “paradoxical” movement": fighting, screaming, asking for help, fighting off. Energy grows and is actively used. Stage 3: direct aggression: maximum activation of forces to defend against a threat. Attack as a way to defend. Meaning: in a specific context there is aggressive behavior , which has a specific meaning and meaning. Maximum use of energy. Stage 4: “imaginary death” reflex: freezing, “paralysis.” Forms of aggression (according to A. Langley) 1) Hatred. When “my being,” my “yes” to something, encounters danger. And then it causes fear that I cannot bear. The meaning of hatred: to destroy the “other”, to destroy. Connection with relationships: It's either me or the other. A person in hatred is usually pale, with narrow lips, a "dangerous" face, without. +375291477755