One of the signs of maturity is the ability to withstand ambivalence, when the same person (object, event) evokes different feelings. In adolescence, it’s nice to idealize your lover, and then, with incredible anguish, break off the relationship, accusing him of all mortal sins, but as adults (at least in theory), we learn to build relationships with an imperfect other, without turning on the berserker mode when we are not satisfied with something, but without ignoring our dissatisfaction. In general, we do not go to extremes. Not everyone, however, is ready to face this very ambivalence; some continue to divide the world into black and white, bad and good. At the same time, it is impossible to surround yourself only with “white and good” people, because then it will not be very clear what to do with your negative experiences. This is how the notorious Karpman triangle is born, when the Victim maintains contact with the wonderful Savior, but is in no hurry to leave the Tyrant. Well, he will leave, and then who to blame for everything? And this is not only about relationships, because the tendency to splitting - when we cannot direct positive and negative feelings to one person (object, event) - basically reflects the way of thinking, the way some people see the world. Let's take politics for example. Have you ever heard of Navalny being discussed in isolation from Putin? You can even pay attention to the polarity of attitude towards them - one is always almost with horns and hooves, the other is the savior of All Rus' (and it doesn’t matter at all which one is which). The idea that each of them has their own positive and negative qualities causes a storm of protest among some. Each of us has too many conflicting emotions, and if we are not able to recognize them at the same time, they will overwhelm us in waves one by one, because it is impossible to just love - love and never get angry. Let's return once again to politics. Listen to the rhetoric of strongly politically engaged acquaintances - instead of a balanced opinion, many simply wander through the roles of the Triangle: oh God, what’s going on in Russia, a nightmare, a nightmare (Victim), we must rescue Leshka/defend Vovka (Rescuer), but we must shoot them all (Tyrant ). Instead of adequate experiences and balanced decisions - exaggerated negativity, positivity and anxiety (otherwise, why don’t you worry about all these roller coasters). This does not mean that you need to arrange yin/yang and remain in eternal balance between negative and positive feelings (or if the conversation is about politics, then maintain unshakable neutrality). No, some will always outweigh, this is natural. But you don’t have to go to extremes. In this extreme, everything is much simpler and clearer: I am good, you are bad, we are right, you are wrong. But from this position, dialogue and healthy relationships are impossible, but only constant violence against each other due to fundamental intransigence. And at the same time, the violence is endless, because how can you be good when there is no one bad around??