A woman can identify with some features of the beloved man who was in her life and whom she lost. This could be a husband, a father, a beloved boy in childhood or a lover in early youth. It could have been unrequited love. It doesn’t matter to a woman how and whom she loved, whether she was reciprocated or laughed back - the main thing is that she loved, she learned to love - and she can reproduce dear traits in herself, since she lacks them to enjoy her love as a wonderful state giving the very beauty of life. This is how she learns to love, and this is an incomprehensible process for a man, because such behavior is exclusively feminine. Identification with a man in this particular form and of this quality is not a necessity for a woman’s literal physical survival. It is only a replacement for the object she has lost. A woman needs this object and this can also become a reason - a barrier to identification with a new man who has appeared in her life. The woman says - to fall in love, as if she fell in love with this person, he is good from all sides, it’s better not to - but the heart does not lie, the soul asks - those damn things. Such examples in life are found at every step. They are widely described in fiction. They look like a long process of a woman weaning herself from her previous man - i.e. from her desire to identify with him, and a long process of consideration - or rather, translation and focusing her attention on a person who had been in her company for a long time and tried with all his might to help her in her troubles. But she didn’t see him, she looked, but didn’t see him, because he didn’t have those features that, from a very young age, captivated her so much in men. The most striking examples include Dasha, the heroine of A. Tolstoy’s novel “Walking Through Torment.” She loved mystery, she was personified by the poet, and the engineer Telegin did not fit into their number, because he spoke simply, briefly and clearly, was completely natural and understandable, which bored Dasha. She kept resolving some understatements, undertones, life and people seemed to her not as simple as an orange, but something infinitely mysterious. Romantic ideas of Dasha with her same behavior and practical, down-to-earth Telegin. Could she see him? It seemed he had no chances. Or Kitty Shcherbatskaya from L. Tolstoy’s novel “Anna Karenina,” who loved the character traits of a daring military man, but the rural landowner did not have such traits. She adopted traits from Count Vronsky - she solved her problems completely independently of her parents, and only pretended that she was an obedient daughter. Dear reader! Let's exchange opinions on this matter. Contact me for help not only if you want to solve your problem, but also if you want a higher quality of your life, to achieve greater success in all areas of life. Appointment only SMS +79119887123, WhatsApp.