Clear expression of your feelings, in my opinion, is one of the most important moments when communicating with other people, because thanks to the expression of feelings, it is not only easier to establish contact and resolve conflicts, but you can also significantly improve the quality of communication and the feeling of satisfaction from it. An obstacle to the expression of feelings is sometimes some confusion between real feelings and statements that describe thoughts, assessments and interpretations. Often, noticing that our needs are not met or ignored by other people (relatives, colleagues or just fellow travelers), we begin to think about human "irregularities". Thus, children who scatter their clothes when returning from school automatically become “sloppy” because they do not understand how important order is to us. Colleagues who perform tasks poorly are “irresponsible,” and a husband who stays late at work is simply an “insensitive type” who does not value his family. Our vocabulary for assigning labels to people can be much richer than our vocabulary for describing emotional states (feelings) and those that lie in based on their needs. It turns out that it is easier for us to express an opinion than to recognize and express even a strong feeling.✓ For example, an employee who did not receive a full bonus says: “I feel that I was treated unfairly,” where the words “I feel” for greater accuracy are quite could be replaced by the words “I think.” Here it is worth distinguishing a feeling from a thought. Usually, we are NOT talking about a clear expression of feelings if the word “feel” is accompanied by: • The words “how”, “what”, “as if”, etc. “I feel like a complete failure”, “I feel like you can do better at this”, “I feel like I’m talking to a wall.”• With the words “I”, “you”, “you”, “ he", "she", "they", "it", "it". “I feel like they are taking advantage of me,” “I feel like it’s pointless,” “I feel like she doesn’t understand me.”• Names or words for people. “I feel like my boss is clever at manipulating people.” “I feel that Anna cannot be relied upon.” On the other hand, during the direct expression of feelings, we may not say the word “feel”, saying, for example, “I am irritated” or “I feel lonely.” At this point, it becomes important to distinguish our feeling from our self-image.✓ When we say, “I feel like I’m not a good lecturer,” we are evaluating our speaking skills rather than expressing our feelings. But if we say, “I am unhappy with myself during lectures,” or “I feel frustrated/angry when I teach,” then this becomes a real expression of the feelings hidden behind the word “bad.” It is also important to distinguish between what we feel and what we don’t feel. how we think other people react to us or behave towards us.✓ It is easy, for example, to mistake the words “I feel like I don’t mean anything to my colleagues” as an expression of feelings, but the phrase “I don’t mean anything” , rather, refers to what I think about how other people (colleagues) evaluate me, rather than to real feelings, which in this case could sound like this: “I’m sad” or “I’m unpleasantly surprised.”✓ Or this phrase: “ I feel misunderstood” is also not about feelings, but about how we evaluate the level of understanding demonstrated by other people. Here we might experience anxiety or irritation (real feelings). ✓ You can also often hear the following words: “I feel like I’m not being paid attention to.” Here again we are faced with an interpretation of someone else's behavior rather than an expression of feelings. After all, when “they don’t pay attention to us,” we can experience both relief (if we wanted to be left alone) and sadness (if we didn’t want to be left out). Why is it so important to clearly express our feelings? On the one hand, by expressing our feelings, we demonstrate our vulnerability, but on the other hand, only thanks to this vulnerability and sincerity can we tell “our story” (without making it difficult for the interlocutor to understand?