Do you know what abuse is? You are very happy if you don’t know. And you are very lucky if you have never encountered anything like this. What is the meaning of this new term for the Russian language? From E. Cherepanova’s book “Psychological Stress”: “In our Russian language, relatively recently, a phrase appeared, which, being profanity, nevertheless almost literally reflects the main meaning: “you were raped.” This means that you were used, although you I did not agree with this, against your wishes. The word “violence” usually denotes only an extreme degree of abuse, and abuse involves the entire spectrum of abnormal use, ranging from insult or bullying to extreme physical and sexual violence. "The worst thing is that abuse is often a form of building family relationships. You can believe me, there are plenty of such families. In our Russian mentality, it is quite easy to fall into one of these forms of conduct. Remember how many sayings we have promoting abuse? “He hits, it means he loves.” “Without stars, it’s like without gingerbread...” “Whom I love, I beat.” “Dear ones scold - they just amuse themselves” - and so on. Let's imagine how a child born in such a family feels. He probably constantly wants to run away and hide. Or not be born at all. During sessions, cancer patients often describe to me the world around them and themselves as being separated by a glass wall. They seem to exist in their own reality and cannot overcome this glass barrier in order to gain real, physical and emotional contact with others. They do not know how, although they really want to, hug their children, their sex life is perverse or conditional. It is difficult for them to fit into the work team and work discipline. They want, strive, but cannot get through to people. And they live within themselves, in their own reality. There are two more categories of people who are in a similar position - schizoids and addicts. Schizoids are described as people “not of this world”, poorly in contact with reality, living in their own world. Despising routine and reality. In fact, they need contact and strive for it; they are rather incapable of it. They cannot break through the same glass wall. Nancy Mc Williams on schizoid personalities and their object relationships: “The primary conflict in the area of ​​relationships in schizoid people concerns intimacy and distance, love and fear. Their subjective life is permeated by a deep ambivalence about attachment. They crave intimacy even though they feel the constant threat of being consumed by others. They seek distance to maintain their security and independence, but at the same time suffer from distance and loneliness (Karon & VanderBos, 1981). Guntrip (1952) described the “classic dilemma” of schizoid individuals as follows: “They cannot be in or out of a relationship with another person without somehow running the risk of losing both self and object.” This statement refers to the dilemma as an “inner versus outer agenda.” Robbins (1988) sums up this dynamic in this message: “Come closer, I'm lonely, but stay away, I'm afraid of infiltration.” Another way to escape from reality is addiction. Put a glass cap on yourself, created from a substance (object) of addiction - and plunge into the world of dreams and fantasies. To sleep. To nirvana. And gradually returning to reality becomes less and less frequent. Dependence (addiction, English addiction - inclination, habit) is an obsessive need to perform certain actions, despite the adverse consequences of a medical, psychological or social nature. Dependence can be physiological (caused by taking chemicals - drugs, alcohol), and behavioral (from gambling, shopping, risky behavior, etc.). http://www.psychologies.ru/ These three categories?