From the author: An article about what happens to a child at such a difficult age will help parents understand their “child” and improve relationships in the family. “When the child has grown up, it’s time for parents to learn to stand on your own feet." Francis Hope And now a baby has appeared in the house! So small, helpless, his parents surround him with attention and care, and he, in turn, begins to thank them with his smile and desire to always be there. The child is growing up, caring parents are now trying to educate and develop their “child”. They introduce them to the world around them: they take them to theaters, museums, zoos and enjoy watching the surprise and admiration of the baby. In preschool childhood, the most important environment for a child is his loved ones; when they are nearby, the baby is also calm. Tie your shoelaces, read a book, explain something you don’t understand. Mom and dad are the child’s first teachers in lessons on communicating with others. By their example, and sometimes by advice, they help their children adapt to the diversity of their social environment, which expands every year: the yard, the street, kindergarten, first grade... Gradually, the circle of significant people for the child expands, and peers begin to take first place. As time goes by, the child increasingly makes independent decisions. He himself begins to choose his friends, which clubs to go to, what to do in his free time, the child develops new interests, which sometimes do not coincide with the interests of the parents, and at this time he is faced with indignation for the first time. And the child begins to compare himself with an adult and comes to the conclusion that there is no difference between adults and him. He begins to demand from those around him that he no longer be considered small; he realizes that he also has rights. The teenager begins to feel like an adult, strives to be and be considered an adult, he rejects his belonging to children. And the child begins to resist the previously unprotested demands from the parents, more actively defending their rights to independence. But, despite external opposition from adults, the teenager feels the need for support. Frequent mood swings, from unbridled joy to despondency and back, are also characteristic of this age. Moreover, obvious significant reasons for such emotional changes often simply do not exist. The teenager begins to manage his emotions and very often he can hide anxiety, excitement, and grief under the mask of indifference. And in certain circumstances (conflicts with adults, friends), a teenager may show greater impulsiveness in behavior. Sometimes, due to severe resentment, he is capable of running away from home and even attempting suicide. What happens to the parents? Most often, it is very difficult for parents to understand and understand themselves. We waited so long for the child to become independent, but we were faced with changes in relationships and fear appeared: what if the influence of friends? Is my child well prepared for the challenges that await him at every turn? What if he tries beer? What if... Feelings of guilt, fear, despair replace each other. And this happens because parents remember themselves at this age, and very much want to protect their children from worries. Very often they ask the question: “Did I do everything right?”, because I really want to be a “good” parent. And in some cases, parents simply do not have time to understand “when did the child become an adult?”, and do not recognize his right to independence. Continuing to communicate with the child in the language familiar to the parents (as before), they encounter aggression. The child is trying to show by behavior and answers that he is different, and you need to communicate with him on a new level. Very often at this time conflicts arise, quarrels which in some cases can end in accusations and alienation. At this time, both the child and the parents feel unhappy. When this happens, it helps to try to understand each other. And if you understand each other, then maybe you will be able to talk about feelings - and.