Day one. Let me remind you that we have 3 Ego states: - Inner Child - Inner Parent - Inner Adult The most favorable, comfortable and constructive state for every person is the state of an Adult. Only an Adult is able to adequately assess reality and navigate it in order to make the right decisions. The Child and the Parent cannot objectively assess reality because they perceive the surrounding reality through the prism of old habits and imposed attitudes, limiting beliefs. Both the Child and the Parent look at life through past experience, which becomes outdated every day and is a seriously distorting factor perception. In the states of Child and Parent, we often act automatically, that is, without control of our own will and consciousness, and this is not always beneficial. Acting automatically, we often cause harm to ourselves and others. The adult controls the actions of the Parent and the Child, and is an intermediary between them. Exercise Find out how the Child, Parent and Adult behave in different situations. Set aside a special time when you track your reactions to everything. what's happening around. You can do this without interrupting your normal activities and concerns. All you need to do is take a pause from time to time to think: in this situation, are you behaving, feeling and reacting like an Adult, Child or Parent? For example, Note to yourself which of the three states of the Self prevails in you when:■ you are about to visit the dentist,■ you see a delicious cake on the table,■ you hear your neighbor turn on loud music again,■ someone is swearing,■ you have been informed that your friend has achieved great success,■ you are looking at a painting at an exhibition or a reproduction in an album, and you don’t really understand what is depicted there,■ you are called “on the carpet” by your superiors,■ you are asked for advice on how to act in a difficult situation,■ someone stepped on your foot or pushed you,■ someone distracts you from work,■ etc. Take paper or a notebook and pen and write down your most typical reactions in similar or any other situations - those reactions that arise in yourself, automatically, even before you have time to think. Re-read what you got and try to honestly answer the question: when are your reactions the reactions of an Adult, when are they the reactions of a Child, and when are they the Parent? Focus on the following criteria: ■ the child’s reaction is a spontaneous uncontrolled manifestation of feelings, both positive and negative;■ the Parent’s reaction is criticism, condemnation or concern for others, the desire to help, correct or improve another;■ the Adult’s reaction is a calm, realistic assessment of the situation and one’s own opportunities in it. You may get, for example, the following: Reason: someone is swearing. Reaction: angry, angry, condemning. Conclusion: I react like a Parent. Reason: a friend has achieved success. Reaction: he really deserved it, a lot I worked and persistently walked towards my goal. Conclusion: I react like an Adult. Reason: someone is distracting me from work. Reaction: well, here they are disturbing me again, it’s a shame that no one takes me into account! Conclusion: I react like a Child. Remember also others situations in your life - especially difficult, critical ones. You may notice that in some situations your Child is activated, in others - the Parent, in others - the Adult. At the same time, the reactions of the Child, Parent and Adult are not only a different way of thinking. They completely change and perception, and self-awareness, and behavior of a person moving from one state of Self to another. You may notice that in the role of a Child you have a completely different vocabulary than in the state of an Adult or Parent. Postures, gestures, voice, facial expressions, and feelings change. Essentially, in each of the three states you become a different person, and these three selves may have little in common with each other. You can keep a notebook for introspection, or start a beautiful notebook. Don’t try to do everything at once. It's good if you don't get distracted. You can.