How to inspire men? How to awaken in him the desire to care? And not demand, frighten, blame or humiliate? Today about the most painful thing - about automatic reactions of defense and attack. We all feel pleasant and joyful feeling loved and desired is essentially a healthy state of life, but often the reality is far from a healthy state. And one of the burning issues concerns the sphere of relationships. We are sweet, beautiful and amazing girls and women, just like men, we love attention, care - shown in time together, compliments, gifts, support, etc. But often women come to consultations disappointed, sad, tired, with a vivid question: - what am I doing wrong? - what is he missing? - why does he behave this way? - why does he behave differently before (after) me? - why others... and mine...? Let's figure it out in order: 1. With this formulation of the question, there is no intention to inspire at all, there is a desire to receive, that is, a desire to sit on the stove, and men must fulfill their desires. I perfectly understand the indignation and rebellion that arises: No! I only try for him, I do everything for our relationship, I work so much on it, etc.! I believe you. This is the question, the goal - “I do everything in order to earn attention, approval, appreciation, help, support, gifts...”. In this state, a woman gives energy out of a state of need (and this is a minus), and is waiting for some positive attention or a return of energy in the form of material benefits. My goodness it doesn't work.2. We realize that now we are not looking for those to blame, but there is a desire to understand the current life situation - this is our goal, and not in a coma, not to find a scapegoat. There is no need to defend yourself, make excuses, attack not me, not the man, not life and fate. There is a situation - we find a solution, everything is simpler than it seems. The ultimate goal is to enjoy life, please a man, receive signs of attention from the fact that he is pleased to provide them; and not from what you forced him to do.3. We understand the reasons for such interaction. Everything is energy. We, as energy vessels, attract other energy vessels, which show us our own holes in the energy system (unhealthy places). We find these places, heal and live happily ever after. We agree that fighting is of little use, and the boomerang flies periodically, it’s time to stop this destructive existence.4. We recognize the actual real conditions, circumstances, relationships. This is an important step. If at this step we lie to ourselves, justify ourselves or our dissatisfaction with the phrases: “yes, no, in principle I am satisfied with my husband, but sometimes I feel offended,” “yes, I understand that he cannot...” (at the same time we are a dull, sad creature, not a cheerful source of inspiration). That is, the state should also be recorded. If you really understand and there is no internal complaint, you love, you are loved, just for a certain period - this is all good and healthy. There are different periods in life. But if you convince yourself and others that you accept the situation, but inside there is rebellion, pity, doom, disappointment, indignation, etc., then you need to heal this gaping hole of energy outflow. In fact - they sat down and wrote - I am wise, beautiful, wonderful, but somewhere the energy system is leaking. This is not a diagnosis for life, but just a hole))).5. We observe our internal state, thinking and behavior. We free ourselves from the role" and vice versa "an angel hiding behind a demon mask". It is important for us to realize the reasons motivating our behavior and the state that makes us attack, defend ourselves, be defensive, fear, demand, be offended... - this is always either a conflict of consciousness and subconscious, or lack of information in this matter. Both are easily healed and transformed. The reason for this behavior is past experience (this or a past life does not matter - the fact is that it exists, and we often work with it). they are full of paradox becauseAs we really realize them, it becomes funny - how could such a thing be invented. I will list the possible reactions (thoughts and behavior) that trigger programs, and then programs: - “I must demand - otherwise I won’t get anything” - “I’ll be happy - he will leave” - there is no logic, but there is a program - “to force him to do something - you need to blame, then he will appreciate it,” questions again with logic - but the program regularly destroys families - “he doesn’t understand in a good way, everything is just forced” - “you have to cry and beg” - “you have to ask, but I don’t I’m going to humiliate myself” - “that he himself can’t guess why I have to remind, talk, ask” - “I need to press for pity or remember his mistakes, remind him how he did last year...)))” And so on, there are a lot of variations - There are several basic programs: - to be content is dangerous for life, for the family - therefore you should always be dissatisfied for survival. A program from childhood - most likely copied from a woman. - I am unworthy, I don’t believe that I can have it, I don’t believe that I can be loved just like that, therefore I have to earn money and demand it in no other way. The reason for the program is the behavior of someone from the early environment and the absence of another example. - I have been guilty since birth - therefore I am suffering a lifelong punishment. Also, the program is older than ancient. You have followed the analogy, then you can continue on your own. I recommend observing thoughts - reactors and behavior, especially internal ones. That is, the fact that we smile at a man, but inside we blame him for coming without flowers or for not guessing with the ring - the man feels the state. Moreover, an inconsistency occurs in the man’s brain - there is a smile on his face, but it feels like war has been declared on him - where is the truth?6. A basic step that requires us to practice rather than just be a one-time realization. Mol: Oh! Exactly! I understood! How come I didn’t realize it before! - and calmed down on this, and tomorrow the mind, out of habit, turned on the chainsaw and the facial muscles remembered the usual mask of discontent - No, that won’t do. Either we tear off our masks and live through all the pain of the past, or we continue to live in claims, defensive armor and attacks. We realize our true intention. Inspiring not for the sake of receiving is an automatic bonus, inspiring because of overwhelming joy, creativity, love. You feel joy from the fact that you live, there is a wonderful man next to you (even just because you met him), etc. Intention - To love and be loved - to inspire - to carry out healthy mutual exchange - to enrich a couple (family) - to develop - NOT TO PROVE WHO IS RIGHT AND NOT TO LOOK FOR THE GUILTY - this is the easiest thing, but the result is zero. And at first, when switching to a new way of life - all the time, as often as possible, remind yourself of thoughts and states like: I am full of feminine energy - I feel loved and desired - I am happy to love and share energy - a man subtly feels me and is happy to take care of me gives gifts - I allow myself to accept and enjoy his attention - I feel grateful for the attention and care - I realize that it is pleasant for a man to please me - I am happy with myself as a woman, I am happy with my choice of a man, I am happy with my life - and if I do anything -I don’t have it or don’t get it, it doesn’t mean that I’m bad or that they don’t love me - it just means that I don’t have it yet, but on the way to it... You replace it with your more relevant text. But what is more important here is not the text, but the internal state (the emitted energy - already now to feel desired and loved - in the body at the energy level), the text and semantic content are only the path to the state.7. We do not idealize life; moderation is important in everything. The point is that you should not overestimate only your participation in the couple and in the relationship. Sometimes a man doesn’t see the point in giving gifts - he should ask, talk, ask, and not just sit and pump up his sexually creative center))). Sometimes a man has different ideas about relationships; again, you should not take a man’s behavior personally and diagnose yourself ahead of time. If you actually encounter similar.