The excellent author Heinz Kohut, in his theory of development, identified 3 needs that every parent would highly recommend satisfying for their child. If, of course, he wishes the best for his child. Let's go!1. The need to be reflected. You parents, both or separately, show your child how special, unique, incredible he is and what happiness and pleasure it is to be with him. This is not done literally with direct words, but rather indirectly, with facial expressions and gestures, reactions, attunement to the child’s state, with one’s whole appearance. In general, we form a single message and implement it comprehensively, through different situations. With or without a reason. A parent, of course, cannot be “perpetually perfect” and reflect 100 percent perfectly. It's possible to not be a perfect parent, but you can't be like that all the time. Normal development will come from the dominant quantity and quality of warm, full of love and acceptance “reflections” over situationally occurring random and non-ideal ones, where it is often difficult to cope with a bad mood or eliminate the parent’s own psychological process from the situation. The child can receive from you in this place a stable positive image of himself, the position “I am normal, I am loved, I have the right” and the skill of self-support and positive supportive internal dialogue (the inner voice that constantly sounds in the head) - a bonus by default. if the need is not satisfied, then: - a person depends on others, constantly seeks external support, - running into unsuccessful mirroring, he falls into a rage. - cannot get enough of praise from the outside world, no matter how strong and supportive it is. 2. The need for idealization. The child wants to know that his parents (at least one of them), definitely strong and definitely smart, have weight in this world and can protect him. The child must confidently be able to make it PERFECT. Rely on the fantasy of perfection. The need is satisfied when the child receives support when facing the outside world. if the need is not satisfied, then: - a person is doomed to a constant search for a strong figure - he will look for an ideal, but in real adult life it is impossible3. The need to be similar to others. Sense of social belonging. We are together. I am the same as them, and they are the same as I. The feeling of being “similar” to another. Satisfaction of these needs in total provides the child with a fairly stable basis for development and living the reality of life in its entire spectrum..