It's all about the moment. It determines life. (Kafka) Every adult has encountered the problem of childhood slowness. This is natural, because we adults live in a world of achievements, a long to-do list and clear time frames. All the more striking is the dissimilarity of the world through the eyes of a child, without any restrictions, external goals and the concept of time. Children's slowness is one of those problems that, being especially topical and familiar to absolutely everyone, is of a very subtle nature. What is considered slowness? Does the child do things slowly out of spite, or does he really not have it any other way? Why are children different in speed? How is slowness related to intelligence? How well do slow children adjust into adulthood? Is it possible to influence the child’s speed, if so, how? In this article I look at the main types of slowness in children: 1. Immaturity of the nervous system at an early age.2. Slow reactions due to phlegmatic temperament.3. Defensive slowness in stressful situations.4. Protest behavior of a child. Respect... pure, clear, immaculate holy childhood! (Ya. Korczak) Sasha is three, and she does everything slowly. It takes longer than other children to get dressed in and out of the garden, being distracted every minute by any external event. He slowly walks down the street, as if reluctantly following his mother. He spends a very long time collecting toys and putting dolls to bed, not taking into account either his mother’s persuasion or the punishment of being deprived of a book before bed. Mom tries to be patient with Sasha, not to pull her back or yell at her again, but sometimes, when patience is running out, dissatisfaction breaks out on its own. When mom starts swearing, things don’t move forward at all. Sasha is offended and doesn’t even seem to want to try. In this case, the likely cause is childhood physiology, which is most often associated with early age, but may be a permanent feature. We are talking about the developmental features of certain lobes of the brain responsible for the reaction and motor skills of the child. At an early age, by definition, they cannot be mature, since they are in the process of development. It is likely that Sasha is trying, but from the point of view of a skilled adult it looks different. This is why Sasha is offended, because efforts are usually praised, not scolded. In this situation, the mother could help her daughter by allocating more time to dressing or getting ready for bed, or dividing the global task of dressing into smaller ones, so that it would be easier for the child to keep the task in mind without being distracted. Monitor his condition, because for a small child the daily volume of tasks is too large, and a tired child, like an adult, is not able to complete tasks consistently quickly and accurately. Stop, just a moment, you are beautiful. (Goethe, “Faust”) Anya is already five and a half, and everyone calls her “kopusha.” At the children's party, she does not have time to take her chair, everyone is waiting only for her for a walk, the mother does not receive an answer to the question asked for a long time, all attempts to “stir up” the girl lead to nothing. Mom has a hard time with Anya, but most of all she is afraid that her daughter will fall behind in school, will not be able to master new knowledge, and will not become successful in life. Therefore, she tries to give her daughter an example of faster children, constantly remind her of the time, in a playful way, through competition, to encourage her to speed up the pace. The problem is that Anya is not getting faster, and mom no longer knows what to do. Mom recalls that her daughter was always like this, she babbled little, could often play alone or “withdraw into herself,” not paying attention to toys and other people, and began to speak later than other children. Slowness from infancy often indicates low mobility of nervous processes. This characteristic is an innate feature of a person and persists throughout life. At the same time, the slowness of the nervous system does not in any way affect intellectual development. In adult life there are also slow, very reasonable people, phlegmatic in temperament and often verysuccessful. How adapted such people are in life depends on what their childhood was like. Unfortunately, the main problem of these children is that their parents cannot cope with their slow pace. Even an innocent “faster” turns out to be a stressful situation for such a child, since he physiologically cannot go faster. Increasing anxiety leads to an attempt to cope with it through even greater procrastination. Comparison with other children or a situation of intense competition becomes total stress, which ultimately results in low self-esteem and neurotic conflict. Unfortunately, the education and upbringing system does not take into account the needs of such children, in whose lives this external stress and the people who create it are constantly present. In this situation, only parents can protect if they try to understand their child and dare to resist the system. You can help by introducing your child to outdoor games that he can do, as well as by ensuring that he has enough time for all necessary activities, including schoolwork. Find words for your sadness, and you will love it. (O. Wilde) Nikita is seven and a half, he is an active boy, the leader of the class. But when it’s time to get ready for school, he has to wait a long time for him to get dressed and constantly remind him of forgotten things. This especially irritates those around him, because when he needs it, the boy gets things done very quickly. This situational slowness is associated with a specific event that causes a negative reaction. Slow actions in this vein serve as an unconscious protest against a certain activity or state of affairs. This can be either an external source (school, kindergarten, going to the clinic or an unloved section), or an intrafamily situation (for example, conflicts with parents, parental divorce, the birth of a younger child, or the illness of a loved one). Rushing or scolding a child in such situations also seems to be ineffective. Rather, it is necessary to influence the source of the problem: talk with the child about the situation, its causes and the child’s feelings. When a child is confident that his feelings are understood and accepted by adults, it is easier for him to cope with life's difficulties, overcome obstacles and move on. Here, slowness serves as a very useful signal that all is not well, a symbol of obstacles and a request for help. If you see this signal in time, you can not only cope with the problem of slowness, but also support the child in his self-confidence and make the relationship with him truly trusting. Growing up is a terribly difficult thing. It is much easier to jump from one childhood to another. (F.S. Fitzgerald) Three-year-old Vanya takes an hour to get ready for a walk and may not put away his toys for the whole evening, despite his mother’s persistent reminders. And with dad and grandma she does everything according to the first request and twice as fast. Sometimes the mother regards this behavior as whims due to lack of sleep, ordinary fatigue, or the influence of other family members. Various methods of education are used: gentle persuasion, explanations (we won’t have time to go for a walk), rewards and punishments. However, the situation is becoming more and more tense every day and will soon develop into a real problem. Many parents are tempted to “tighten the screws” by using harsh, including forceful methods, but during this period much depends on the adult’s ability not to escalate the confrontation. The reason for a child’s slowness in contact with a certain adult (most often the mother) is protest behavior, often at the age of three, when the child tries to defend the right to his own decisions and his own pace in order to emphasize his independence. The child's need for independence consists of greater powers and, at the same time, more responsibilities. It is important for a grown-up child to feel competent by dressing, washing, and caring for himself at the table on his own. Rules that give him the right to make his own decision in the majority will be useful..