"A spoon for mother" or how to trust a child in matters of nutrition First, think about the party! Lloyd de Maus, the founder of such psychohistory, in his remarkable study of child-rearing styles in different historical periods, came to the conclusion that the so-called dominates today. socializing style of education. This style is characterized by the fact that parents prioritize the compliance of the child’s behavior with social norms. Actually, this is the strategic task of the traditional education system - to raise a law-abiding, decent member of society. The needs and interests of the child himself in this situation are far from being in first place (fortunately, there are exceptions). Therefore, this education strategy cannot but influence on the formation of such an important point as the child’s eating behavior (eating habits, attitude towards food, etc.). This is manifested in examples that, I think, are well known to many from their own childhood. - “Until you eat, because you won’t leave the table” - and the child learns to eat even when he is already full or when the food is not tasty. - “Eat faster, why are you fussing” - and the child begins to eat quickly, missing the signal of satiety and the taste of food. - “Finish everything in yourself”, “you can’t leave food on the plate behind you” - and the child begins to think that a clean plate is more important than comfort in the stomach. - “If you want to eat, drink some water” - and the child begins to confuse where the hunger signal is, where the thirst signal. Well, in the same spirit. “As long as in our country weapons are made for the right hand, he will draw with the right hand.” Once, my colleague, dance and movement therapist Marina Bebik, told a story from her practice. When in class the children were drawing something and one boy kept taking a pencil in his left hand, and his grandfather (or stepfather) came up and transferred it to his right. Marina at some point came up and carefully said that perhaps it was more convenient for the boy to draw left, and that at this age a child can master both. To which the grandfather said, “As long as in our country weapons are made for the right hand, he will learn to draw with the right hand.” This example may be shocking to many (although in the current situation it may no longer be), but in the field of nutrition, many parents in relation to the child talk about Also. “I know better what, when, how and how much he should eat.” Only then, such adults, 30, 40, 50-year-old uncles and aunts come to us for a weight loss program and say, “You know, I can do it all day not to eat or feel hungry.” Or when we discuss what the criteria for satiety are, many say “Heaviness, belching, drowsiness,” although these are precisely signs of overeating, not satiety. Or someone says that when he’s hungry he just drinks water and that’s it. That is, eating behavior is already very disturbed. Largely because the parents of these adult uncles and aunts once decided that they were experts in nutrition and better than any - the youngsters there understand what he needs, when and how much. Is this really so? And he said to them: “Be like children.” A well-known expert in the field of psychotherapy for eating disorders, Svetlana Bronnikova, in one of her articles refers to a famous experiment conducted almost 100 years ago. I give the description in full, because... very revealing Clara Davis in 1928 For 6 years, she observed small (aged 6 to 11 months) residents of a special nutritional kindergarten organized for the purpose of this experiment. The participants in the experiment were children of single mothers who were unable to support and provide for their children, and children of teenage mothers from unwanted pregnancies. Most of the children suffered from severe anemia and significant underweight, rickets and other disorders that usually accompany poor nutrition. Every meal and every piece of food eaten by the child was recorded over a period of six years, which ultimately amounted to about 38 thousand “food diary” entries. Food was offered to the children, but was never forced. The food was laid outin certain places, in full view of children. Nurses who cared for infants who were not yet able to walk never actively offered food to the children. Only if the child was clearly drawn to a certain type of food, he received it in a spoon. If the child refused to eat, the spoon was immediately removed. Children who could walk independently could freely approach and choose any types and combinations of food that they liked. The food offered was absolutely natural, each type of food was a single product - combinations and mixing of products were not allowed. Why? To make sure that the child has chosen a specific, specific product for its nutritional value. Therefore, the experimental diet contained whole grains, but no bread. All types of food were unsalted, salt was served in a separate bowl like any other food, and the children could choose it if they wanted. Among the products offered were vegetables and fruits, several types of meat and offal (kidneys, liver), whole grain flakes and cereals, milk and fermented milk products. The first discovery of the experiment, now a scientific fact about the nutrition of children, was that children consume an uneven amount of calories within a day, a week or a month. One day they can eat double their daily calorie intake, the next they barely get half of it. On one day, the calorie content of what was eaten could reach the norm due to the consumption of a small amount of foods with a high calorie value, for example, meat or cereals, on another - due to vegetables and fruits eaten in large quantities. None of the eating styles of the small subjects corresponded in any way nutritional standards developed by the Institute of Pediatrics for their age, and no diet was similar to another. Each child ate differently. These little scoundrels didn’t care about nutritional standards. They ate stewed liver, washed down with milk and a couple of hard-boiled eggs. For the night. They gladly placed a banana slice on the potatoes and devoured this nutritionist's nightmare with appetite. It was discovered that, in comparison with the statistics of other children's institutions, the children participating in the experiment rarely got sick and experienced minor health problems typical for this age. Constipation was unknown in this kindergarten. There were no cases of vomiting or diarrhea. During the experiment, viral infections such as influenza that children fell ill with were mild and lasted no more than 3 days. It was noted that, during the period of recovery from infections, the children ate an unusual amount of fresh meat, milk and fruit. Of course, the participants in the experiment underwent regular and detailed medical examinations, which revealed an increase in hemoglobin in the blood to normal levels, normalization of calcium and phosphorus levels, excellent calcification children's bones from those who, before the experiment, suffered from rickets, in some cases in an advanced form. The most striking thing is that the children gained weight to the required age level, but nothing more. Of course, there were thinner and more solidly built participants in the group, but neither exhaustion nor obesity was noticed. Later, a whole series of nutritional experiments were conducted with children, which showed the exceptional ability of the human body, “unspoiled” by nutritional standards, to independently regulate the level and type of food consumption . Thus, we can say that most children up to a certain age (on average, before entering kindergarten, some a little later) have a natural, innate ability to eat properly. Thus, a 2-year-old child who has not watched Elena Malysheva and Gennady Malakhov will not who has read books on dietetics, etc., nevertheless somehow understands when it’s time for him to eat! Moreover, he understands this and feels hungry at least 4 times a day, and that’s right! (and you, dear reader?) The child does not know what complex connections and psychophysiological mechanisms regulate the process of satiation, but at some point he feels that he is fulland pushes the plate away. A baby who cannot yet speak understands almost instantly if, instead of a breast, his mother gives him a bottle of water when he wants to eat. And he begins to cry because he feels that this is a setup. But, as mentioned above, parents often do not trust the child in these matters, believing that they know better. However, if you do take the risk, then the following recommendations may strengthen your trust due to your child’s intuitive nutrition and will help him maintain proper eating behavior, a positive attitude towards his body, normal weight and a high level of vital energy! 7 tips for parents on feeding a small child from the point of view of psychology and intuitive nutrition Respect the feeling of hunger. Hunger is one of the important physiological signals that our body sends us to tell us that it is time to eat. Ignoring, ignoring, suppressing the feeling of hunger means treating your body like an insensitive robot. Therefore, respect your child’s feeling of hunger by letting him understand that eating when hungry is right, good and healthy. Yes, I forgot to say - feed more him when he is hungry (well, this is for every fireman, otherwise someone will later say that they didn’t say that J) Respect the feeling of fullness. Just decide what is more important to you - a clean plate, not wasted food, or your child’s stomach “It’s better in us than in the basin” is canceled! The stomach is not a toilet or a trash can. And when a child says (or, until he can speak, non-verbally shows) that he is full, then he is full. And eat a “spoon for mom” yourself. It’s another matter if he doesn’t eat because he’s capricious or manipulative. But for this, psychology will help you, to be able to see this and find secret tricks for such a case, so that he eats and does not remain hungry. My wife and I, for example, add berries to porridge, and our son happily catches them, eating them at the same time and porridge. Take your time. Eating is an intimate process. To feel full and satisfied, it is important to take your time. Note that children often eat slowly. And this often makes parents nervous. Well, long live personal psychotherapy for parents, children have nothing to do with it. When a child eats slowly, he learns to contact food. In the future, this will allow him to stop on time, not eat expired foods, not put something in his mouth just because it looks tasty, distinguish between artificial additives, etc. Stop worrying. “He doesn’t eat anything, he’s unfaithful, he’s sick,” the grandmother says with horror after her grandson ate not the whole bowl of soup, but only half. Calm down. You don't have to do it once in a while. Now the child may really not want to eat much, but tomorrow at the same time he will eat a third more. If the child is active, cheerful, has a good mood, a normal temperature and in general does not flatly refuse to eat, then everything is fine. And desire, so that he will certainly eat the entire portion - this is the story of the grandmother, which, of course, can also be understood, because food for her (and for everyone who survived the war and famine) has a completely different meaning than for many of us. But here the parents should stand up to protect the interests of the child, having soft preventive conversations with the grandmother. Teach the child to respect food, to eat food. This was relevant before (for example, you should not throw away bread), it is also relevant now. But the attitude is not only important the food itself, but also to the meal. Therefore, feeding anywhere is not the best option. Also, draw the child’s attention to the fact that mom and dad also need to eat (if you fed him before), so that he gradually understands that this is an important process, to which everyone should have the right. Perhaps in ... twenty years this will help him leave on time for lunch at work, while his colleagues will drink water or coffee, thinking that work is more important than eating. Don’t force – involve! Food can be a pleasure, but it can also be a way of manipulation and violence. When in kindergarten the teacher says “if you don’t eat, I’ll throw you out by the collar” or publicly shames someone by saying,!"