From the author: It is quite natural that many parents want to help their growing children develop in many ways. They don’t leave them any free time to be “stupid” on the Internet, signing up for all sorts of clubs and sections, paying for a ton of tutors. Often, in this zeal, parents go too far. To understand where the golden mean is between unbridled concern for the development of children and a negligent attitude towards this, you need to understand some of the features of the modern world and the psychological characteristics of the younger generation... It’s no secret that the amount of information that a modern person has to perceive has increased many times over the past 10-15 years, and this information flow continues to grow. Nature is structured in such a way that all living organisms try to adapt as much as possible to changing conditions, and humans, as we know, have surpassed everyone in their ability to adapt. And therefore our children are more adapted than we, people of the last century. Keeping this in mind, you shouldn’t worry too much about the fact that they won’t be able to cope with the powerful flow of information; you shouldn’t try to limit it by taking away phones, tablets, or prohibiting them from using social networks. The thinking of modern children and teenagers works differently than that of older people. There is a wonderful documentary about its features - “Clip Thinking” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXfNHzNKDkk), I recommend watching it. It details the differences between clip and conceptual thinking, examining the pros and cons of both. It seemed to me especially important for our topic that clip thinking is neither good nor bad, it is an adaptation mechanism of the human psyche in conditions of an overabundance of information. Clip thinking helps a person simultaneously solve several problems, quickly switch from one to another, make decisions without delving into details and without going into details. I would rather disagree with the authors of the film that the ability to think in clips in the modern world is the key to success . I think that the ability to “dig deep”, to understand the meanings inherent in large works of art, is a skill that teaches a young person to seriously reflect on his life, to plan it in the long term, teaches critical thinking and the ability not to be manipulated. Why I write about the importance of artistic culture for building the life of a young man? Here's why: artistic culture is a symbolic world created by man. Great works of artistic culture were created by people who not only mastered the word, pen or brush, but were able to see and convey deep experiences and serious questions that life posed to them. Not just to know by heart, but to understand the meaning intended by the author, to be able to penetrate in depth, to “read between the lines” - this skill is useful in everyday life. Isn’t it possible that a caring parent, instead of helping a teenager navigate the flow of information, is his development trying to burden him with even more different activities? This desire of the parent is fundamentally based on the lack of faith that the teenager is capable of understanding what he needs. Allegedly, if you leave him alone, something terrible will happen: he will fall into bad company, become addicted, start smoking, swearing, stealing... Or he will simply be foolish all day long and grow up to be a worthless person. Working as a school psychologist, I Lately I have been strengthening my opinion that the world has gone crazy in a mad race for achievements. Teachers scare fifth-graders with the upcoming State Exam and Unified State Exam, parents overload their children with additional paid classes and clubs, children simply don’t know what to do with all this, and those who are weaker show neurotic reactions or get sick, and those who are healthier unload their brains with meaningless things. spending time on the Internet. To prevent your child from becoming a victim of advertising, do not goon the lead of the majority, did not succumb to the temptations of the modern world, it is necessary not to limit and prohibit his access to the Internet, not to load him with a mass of “useful for his development” activities, but to teach conceptual thinking, to teach him to understand the essence of phenomena, to understand what is worth paying attention to, and what - no. Before moving on to specific recommendations, let me go from afar and reveal the essence of conceptual thinking, its significance for the ability to live a meaningful life. In adolescence, a consistent system of values ​​is just beginning to be built in a person’s mind. It begins in early childhood and, of course, the most important value guidelines are laid down by parents. However, the human psyche is structured in such a way that at the age of 12-15 he reconsiders the values ​​taken from his parents, often criticizes them and demonstrates disagreement with them with all his behavior. This comes from the fact that at this stage of development, the desire for autonomy from parents, the desire to do everything on one’s own and in one’s own way, becomes extremely important. A mature human value system is a conceptual system. Everything in it is laid out in perfect order: what is good, what is bad; what is healthy and what leads to illness. It clearly outlines the system of relationships and cause-and-effect relationships: if I do this, then this will happen. There are no contradictions between word and deed, thought and action. There is an explanation and understanding of your desires and needs. There is a clear idea of ​​how to build relationships and generally coexist with others like you, what to devote yourself and your life to. It’s good if the value system matures by the age of 25-30. But the most important time for its formation, in my opinion, is the very beginning - adolescence. So what can parents be advised to help their children grow up, become more independent and, most importantly, think deeply and holistically? I will write below a few recommendations based on the above ideas: 1. The position of an adult should never be transmitted to a teenager as the ultimate truth. A teenager must understand that there are many points of view on any subject and he also has the right to look at things in the way that seems true to him. Showing respect for the teenager's position will lead to the fact that he will respect the parent's point of view, even if he does not agree with it. To put this provision into practice, you can more often ask the teenager about his opinion about the disagreements that arise in the family, about his view on various controversial things. It is absolutely not necessary to establish democracy when resolving all issues - some things can be resolved unilaterally from the position of an adult: “I think it’s more correct to do it this way, because... and I want it to be this way!” But it is imperative to give the teenager the right to disagree with the parent’s decision. For example, if the controversial issue concerns the established order in the house, which the teenager does not want to maintain, or the amount of pocket money, which, in the teenager’s opinion, is not enough for him.2. The position of the adult should be clear to the teenager. It is important to explain the reasons for your actions and decisions so that the teenager sees that parental decisions have a good reason. Sometimes adults make decisions in a state of passion, as a result of fatigue or irritation. It would be good to review such decisions “with a sober head.” Sometimes parents can act completely illogically - simply because “they wanted to,” a kind of tyranny. If such actions and decisions affect the interests of a teenager, then in addition to indignation and protest against injustice, he may develop the same reactive style of behavior: “I’ll do it if I want, I won’t do it if I want!” It is necessary to understand that although a teenager revises the parental value system, he primarily copies the methods of decision-making, the depth of analysis of the situation and the basis for choice from his parents. Therefore, one cannot expect balanced, conscious actions from a teenager if the parents themselves behave situationally and reactively.3. U.