Girls often ask me in consultation, what is resentment? What does it consist of? And how to distinguish it, for example, from anger or sadness? And most importantly, how to get rid of it? Resentment consists of two important parts: your unfulfilled expectations and anger (anger). You will never be offended by a person if you didn’t expect anything from him. But if you thought that he would act in a certain way, but he acts differently, you are offended. And this discrepancy makes you angry. For example, you expected that your friend Olya considers you her best friend and will definitely invite you to her birthday. But she doesn’t do this, your expectations are not met, you are angry and offended. It is quite natural that hand in hand with resentment goes such a thing as disappointment. Chronic unresolved grievances against the father and men can lead to psychosomatic diseases “in a woman’s way.” I already wrote about this last month and I will repeat it again - it is important! Many people believe that in order to stop worrying about old grievances, you must forgive the offender. Usually this is a path that leads nowhere - it is impossible to force yourself to forgive someone by force. What to do? First, sort out your expectations. Are they fair? Maybe there’s no point in being offended? There are no high expectations - no offense. Put yourself in the place of the offender. Why did he behave this way and not otherwise? Maybe he had serious reasons for this? Accept the fact that no one is obliged to meet your expectations. Yes, it is difficult and painful, but in adult life this is a fact. Reconsider your expectations - and the resentment will stop tormenting you. Work on letting go of the resentment: speaking, art therapy, dance therapy, body therapy, etc. It’s better to work in tandem with a psychologist. Often behind high expectations for people are high expectations for yourself. And this is also something that definitely needs to be worked with. Magically, when you allow yourself to be not only kind and good, but also an evil ungrateful egoist, you begin to be offended by people much less. Subscribe to the INSTGR_LINK channel on Instagram*! A tandem of a gynecologist and a psychologist writes about the most important things for any woman: health, relationships, women’s happiness.* Instagram belongs to Meta, which is recognized as an extremist organization in Russia.