One of the not most pleasant basic feelings of a person is disgust, which is inherent in us by nature in the same way as the instinct of self-preservation, and performs the same function - protecting the body from something indigestible that invades to its border. It is divided into “primary” - this is an almost unconscious mental reaction to sewage, odors, spoiled food, larvae, etc. - and “secondary”, or moral, relating to more abstract objects or people - for example, cowards, lying politicians, homeless people, alcoholics, etc. The feeling of disgust allows you to avoid infections and parasites, not to eat unsuitable and dangerous food (or not to eat too many different eating in one sitting), and is also an indicator of the toxic behavior of some people. Disgust causes nausea and a special grimace (the forehead is wrinkled, the eyebrows are lowered, the nose is wrinkled, the nostrils are widened, the upper lip is slightly raised, the lower lip is protruded or raised and closed with the upper one, and the corners of the mouth are drooping). It can appear as a result of a violation of boundaries (when a person wants peace, but continues to tolerate the obsessive behavior of a partner or swallows an insult, pretending that everything is fine), incorrect attitudes (“you must be a good boy”, “a woman must tolerate”, “you can’t get angry at people”), etc., and is often blocked. This happens when a mother, in response to a small child’s feeling of disgust (who spits out tasteless food, for example), gets irritated and stops his behavior. She scolds him for turning away from his grandmother who kisses him with an unpleasant smell, reacts painfully to any rejection and defending his boundaries. A person who, as a result of such actions of his parents, has learned to suppress his disgust, does not know how to determine a comfortable distance for himself and believes that You can let your loved one as close as you like, merging with him “into one whole.” He feels guilty when the partner’s touch or smell at some point turns out to be unpleasant. He scolds himself for this and continues to suppress disgust, because he thinks that in this way he is rejecting his loved one. On the other hand, he will expect the same complete acceptance from his partner. And if he suddenly decides to define his boundaries, then this will be perceived as a rejection “he doesn’t love me!” As a result, suppressed disgust can develop into psychosomatics: constant nausea, vomiting, problems with the gastrointestinal tract, etc. The person will feel that he was poisoned by spoiled food, but in reality he was poisoned by poisonous emotions. By suppressing disgust, it is impossible to get out of the merger. After all, disgust is a signal that the relationship is toxic and cannot continue like this. In order for a person to gain the ability to decide to change something in a relationship and learn to rely on his own needs, he first needs to restore awareness of this emotion. And the easiest way to do this is with the help of a psychologist. As soon as the feeling of disgust returns during therapy, the exit from the merger begins. I no longer want to endure what is disgusting. A person learns to notice his preferences and what does not suit him. Gradually begins to build personal boundaries. And, as a result, he gets an adequate and suitable relationship in which he does not have to constantly swallow poison, suppressing nausea. But it is impossible to achieve this without unblocking disgust. Learning to talk about the topic of disgust is difficult, embarrassing, unpleasant and scary, especially if it has long been common practice in a couple not to notice and tolerate. But gradually and carefully it is quite possible to find the right phrases and preserve love, and not completely turn it into addiction. For example, in order not to hurt your partner and at the same time not to suppress yourself, you can add each time that you love him and are not going to reject him. You just don’t like the way his breath smells in the morning. But it also happens that the disgust is so strong in intensity that it leads to distance and avoidance of any contact with your partner. For example,)