From the author: the article will be useful to those who believe that they did not receive enough love from their parents in childhood; for those who matured early and became a “parent” to their younger brothers and sisters; for those who are preparing for happy parenthood In continuation of the topic “If you were not loved as a child, become the best mother for yourself,” I decided to talk a little more about my own acceptance and self-love. When consulting people, I often come across issues of self-acceptance and self-love to yourself. For some people this is quite a sensitive topic. Some clients may even find it difficult to imagine how it is possible to love themselves. Not to mention the fact that it is not only possible, but also necessary to love yourself and do something good for yourself. There are clients who take care of others all their lives, but never pay attention to their true needs and cross them out. They love to give gifts to family and friends, create coziness in the house, and at the same time they do not take care of their appearance and do not like to take care of themselves. There are those who find it difficult to find some positive qualities in themselves, to say something good about themselves, to touch their body with love. There are those who very often “flagellate” themselves with caustic words: “such a fool, an idiot, a fat pig.” Where does this “not self-love” come from, which cannot always be seen at first glance if you are not an expert? As they say: “We all come from childhood,” and many behavioral patterns, of course, originate in childhood. It must be said that acceptance of oneself as an individual, as a woman, or a man, as a person with the right to life, can be laid down long before birth child, during the period of conception and gestation on an unconscious level. If one of the parents, or both, were psychologically unprepared for the birth of a child, if the mother of the unborn child regretted the fact of conception and wanted to have an abortion, if the closest relatives or other social environment condemned the girl for pregnancy - all this is read by the fetus, and if it is born , then with a deep sense of guilt and uselessness. That is why all couples who want to conceive and give birth to a healthy, beloved and loving baby need to carefully prepare (carry out not only a thorough examination and assessment of chronic diseases of the body, but also prepare themselves psychologically). I think a theme for future articles is emerging: “How to prepare yourself for happy parenthood.” Therefore, if anyone is interested, follow my articles. But now the question is different: “Where does non-self-love come from?” You and I have found out that non-love can be transmitted to the fetus long before the birth of the child. It also takes into account how the child was born, who delivered him, what mood the midwife was in when the baby was put to the breast, what mood the mother was in, who and how cared for the child, what words or thoughts were there.. The list can be long! Everything can leave an imprint and be remembered by the child’s body as “needed-unneeded”, “loved-unloved”. Of great importance is how and who expected the birth of this child (parents, relatives, social environment), what thoughts these people had. And of course, the child’s entire future life: care, upbringing, physical and emotional contacts, interaction with other people, extreme situations, crises, etc. All these facts, one way or another, can leave imprints on a person’s personality. And if the child was not expected, did not want, ignored his needs, raised “in a black body,” humiliated, used physical and psychological violence, directly or indirectly made it clear that he was “not worthy of love,” then what about the person himself? will he treat himself??? Most likely, he will unconsciously dislike himself. It sometimes surprises me how some clients live in terrible conditions of endless humiliation, and cannot do anything about it. But they don’t even know what can be done. They don’t know any other way. When they buy gifts for their tyrants, somewhere deep in their souls they expect to be noticed,they will appreciate, praise, love, say at least one kind word: “Thank you.” By creating comfort in the house, they are trying to say: “I exist! I am alive! Look how I can! This is all for you! I want you to notice me and love a little! I want you to give me the right to live, the right to express myself and be myself!” In my article about lack of love in childhood, the question was raised about what to do, how to help yourself if you feel or think that you were not given enough love, care and attention. It offers some algorithm of actions that can help you become a caring parent for yourself. Of course, in order to learn to be your own best mother, to learn to love yourself, it may take time and some work on yourself. It may be better for many to undergo personal therapy with a psychotherapist. And this will also take time! Since, having started to work on one problem, related other problems may appear. And yet, I want to offer you an exercise from self-hypnosis to accept your inner child. If you do not yet have an idea about self-hypnosis and its benefits, then first read my articles on this topic. So, in the article “If you were not loved as a child, become the best mother for yourself,” we determined that a person’s personality contains parts in itself: adult, child, parent. This article asked you to work with these parts of your personality, and find out their expectations and intentions in relation to each other. Next, you were asked to think about how you yourself can become a caring parent and a wise adult without suppressing the needs of your inner child. Now I want to offer you a trance exercise where you can live the experience of acceptance and love for your inner child. First, read the trance to the end. Then, immerse yourself in your inner world and do the exercise yourself, visualizing what is offered in the trance (you will be able to find the audio in the app shortly). Doing exercises while listening to an audio recording is much more effective! To begin with, I suggest you take some time for yourself (10-15 minutes), make sure that no one bothers you, no one disturbs you during this time. Turn off the phone, put the animals away, ask your family to go into another room. Now sit in a chair or chair with a backrest. Trance: “My spiritual parents and inner child” (listen to the audio recording Exercise “Spiritual Parents”) I suggest you sit as comfortably and comfortably as possible on a chair (chair), look to see if it is comfortable, remove unnecessary and embarrassing things. Pay attention to how you are sitting, whether you are comfortable enough, if it is not quite comfortable, move your hips a little, sit your buttocks on the surface of the chair (chair) so that it is comfortable, move your lower back towards the back of the chair, while your feet are on the floor, and your hands are on your knees. And now, you can take a few pleasant breaths and exhales, and linger a little longer with your eyes on those objects in the room that surround you. Notice what caught your attention the most. What are these items? What shape are they? What colour? Now, pay attention to the sounds that surround you. What are these sounds? What are they? Pay attention to the sensations in your body. What is this feeling? Pay attention to your breathing. And when you are ready, simply close your physical eyes. Continue to pay attention to your breathing: inhale-exhale, inhale-exhale... And when you are ready, close your inner eyes... And now, you can go to the place where your Spiritual parents live. Where everything is good, everything is comfortable, where you are always welcome, where you are always welcome, where you can receive a Blessing for life and love, self-love, love for the world and life. To where you have always been loved and loved, valued and valued, supported and will be supported... And I don’t know whether you believe in it or not, but every person has his own Spiritual parents, those who really wanted this person, very much they were waiting for him, dreaming about him... And it doesn’t matter, you have physical"!