From the author: The article is the intellectual property of the author. Copying is possible only using an active link to the source and indicating the author’s full name. “Unreleased” boys - 2. Here https://www.b17.ru/article/34696/ I have already written about how mothers form symbiotic relationships with children. In particular, with my sons. There are actually many ways. One of them is to submit to the “man.” It happens something like this: “my son is against me....” “my son doesn’t allow me...” “I would, of course..., but my son won’t agree.” “no, I’m not married, my son didn’t like any of my partners... “And also the categorical “We”, in relation to a child of any age. But I will return to this later... So, all these phrases have nothing to do with a humane position towards the child and his opinion, as you understand. But they are directly related to partnership, because the partner may be against something, disagree with something, or approve of something. A parent can prohibit something for a child. But not the other way around! A child cannot forbid a parent; this is unnatural and harmful, first of all, for the child, because no matter how hard a little boy tries to live up to his mother’s expectations and take on partner responsibility, he does not have the resource for this due to his age. And with the phrases listed above and the corresponding behavior, the mother signals “You are a partner for me,” you are responsible and decisive, you - man! A child’s resource is not unlimited; normally it is used for development and, if necessary, for adaptation; there is enough of it for that. In a symbiotic relationship, all the children’s resources are spent on “adult” relationships with their mother, and no resources are left for their normal childhood life and age-appropriate development of the resource. As a result, infantilism and disruption of relationships with peers. And later - with the opposite sex, which is understandable, because almost all love is invested in the mother. Accordingly, all the son’s attempts to love a woman will be doomed to partial or complete failure, because he has practically no resources for love and partnership with someone else other than his mother, because while remaining in a symbiotic relationship with his mother, he feels responsible for her happiness and mental comfort. And in response to any fantasies about qualitative changes in his life, he is faced with the usual question: “What about mom...?” It is appropriate here to recall the words of K. Whitaker about how it makes sense to create relationships after “young people have successfully divorced their parents and established their right to be separate individuals.” Alas, not everyone is given this. By communicating with her son as a partner, the mother creates a substitute reality where she and her son are hierarchically equal, where boundaries are annulled, that is, in essence, the relationship represents psychological incest. Such relationships create the basis for the formation of a borderline personality organization in a child, the development of intimate phobia, or can provoke the emergence of a psychosomatic symptom, eating disorders, or psychosexual orientation disorders. If the neurotic and psychosomatic lines of defense do not work, then the outcome comes in psychosis. Then, at the appointment, the psychiatrist sees an aged, but still very lively mother, who will tell everything in detail about her sick son, and thus: “We got sick then...”, “But these medications don’t help us, but those help us “,” “And we had hospitalization then.” Inappropriate when applied to an adult son, “We” is a marker of a symbiotic, fused relationship. There is a time for everything and symbiosis too. Symbiosis is a healthy and important stage in the development of a child in the first years of life, it allows the mother to better understand her baby, and for him to receive protection and support. It must be taken into account that this is just a stage, and if it drags on, there are all the prerequisites for the formation of a psychological incestuous relationship. Mothers raising a child in a protracted symbiosis ignore the fact that as the child grows older, he must become more and more independent, so that, in the end,