From the author: How often do we get excited about something new, and then feel that we have begun to cool down... How does this happen and where to get resources to rekindle the fire ? More on this in the article below. Doubled desire is passion, doubled passion becomes madness.ProdicusFrom charm to disappointmentThe situation is quite familiar to many: we saw how someone masterfully, fieryly and, it seems, does something easily. For example, playing the guitar, roller skating, telling jokes and stories in public, or doing business online. There are millions of examples. However, we are so captivated by the very fact of what we see that we begin to try this activity on ourselves, “why am I worse?” And after a little thought, we go to a music store for a guitar or a sports store for roller skates, or maybe we go to public speaking courses or training on “how to launch a successful startup online.” Time passes, but we steadfastly continue to strum the cacophony of six strings, annoying family and friends, getting into trouble while riding along the paths of the park, trying to implement at least one speaking skill in life, or beating around the bush with the issue of creating and launching your own website. We have been involved in the process, but no significant results have been seen yet. That first light begins to go out. Understanding this, we can redouble our efforts. Often this does not lead to any noticeable results. Then we slowly but surely begin to slow down, both physically and emotionally. And soon we see how the guitar or roller skates begin to become covered with a layer of dust, and practicing public speaking skills or the question of studying the market of potential clients moves into the “I’ll think about it tomorrow” stage. So, what happens is what can be described by the word disappointment. In other words, we "get rid of the spell" of a new idea or plan. Having lost the emotional charge, we convince ourselves that “It was a stupid idea. I knew it wouldn’t work.” By the way, we can often hear something similar from our parents, who also like to reassure their children so that they “don’t do something.” Needs and “wants” Often we come to the conclusion that it really wasn’t ours and wasn’t worth the effort . It turns out that we have been “cured” of a bad idea, got rid of an unnecessary “wish”. This is where it's worth taking a deep breath and rejoicing. But often we don’t want to do this at all. Deep down we feel dissatisfaction. “Wishlist” left, as if taking with it a piece of our joy, positivity and even soul. In this case, we are talking about a need remaining somewhere deep inside us, which was never realized. We needed playing the guitar to be admired by others, roller skating for confidence, public speaking skills to make us feel needed, and creating an online business to give us a sense of control over our lives. Of course, not everyone is superficial. “wants” are associated with a deep level of needs. Most of the first ones are really impulsive, and after a day we won’t even remember about them. But if we are haunted by a feeling of loss, then, most likely, we missed something important and “extinguished” ahead of time. What have we learned by getting rid of “wants”? Having “extinguished” several times, refusing new beginnings, we often come to the conclusion that that there is an unpleasant aftertaste in my soul, because of which I don’t want to start doing something again. Often we do not attach importance to such sensations, thinking that “they will go away on their own with time.” In fact, everything is somewhat more insidious than it might seem. Our brain never stops learning and generalizing; these mechanisms work in us around the clock. Having put several things on the back burner, hanging a guitar with rollers on the wall, we bitterly wave our hands and think that we have learned nothing once again. However, this is not at all true. We have learned to be helpless to some extent. Unsuccessful experiences plus your own thinking about unsuccessful actions smoothly turn into new beliefs. They do not sound the best, most of them including phrases such as“I can’t…”, “I won’t be able to…”, “I’m not capable of...” What we don’t realize here is that new beliefs and generalizations are not a true reflection of our abilities and capabilities. It is more correct to call them what Edison did when he made several thousand attempts to create the light bulb, saying that he “discovered another way that doesn’t work.” But we stubbornly continue to believe in our own inability and live by new rules that limit us. Now we are really wary of everything that captivates us and ignites us emotionally. Will obsession help us? But a need that goes unaddressed will not just go away. Sooner or later we will receive the next signal, realizing that simple moment that we still needed it. How can you light up and never go out again, having gone all the way to what you want to the end? Here, both your own and someone else’s experience of obsession will be quite useful. If you look at Wikipedia, it gives the following definition: Obsession is the complete and comprehensive subordination of the human mind to something, any thought or desire. And if something pathological or even mystical is often associated with this word, as if some dark entity inhabits a person and begins to control him, then I propose to look at the useful aspects of this phenomenon. You need to become obsessed with your idea or goal in a good way in order to not only take action, but also maintain this motivation throughout the entire process, no matter what. In psychology, such “obsession” is called readiness. It is often characterized by the fact that a person has illogical confidence in the success of his business, even if all the factors and the situation indicate the opposite. Positive attitude In conclusion of the article, I would like to cite elements of the so-called positive attitude, which allows people to do the impossible and overcome the most difficult obstacles that arise on their way (this is described in detail in Steve Andreas’ book “NLP - New Technologies for Success”). All these elements have been discovered in a variety of people and together they turn into an inexhaustible source of motivation that will not allow the internal fire to die out. 1. Double motivation "K" and "OT". You need to clearly define for yourself what you should strive for and what to avoid. It is not enough to see pictures of the desired “bonuses,” although it is from them that the inner fire is often ignited, as stated at the beginning of the article. It is also worth adding unpleasant pictures of what awaits us if we abandon our goal. And if positive images suddenly begin to fade, then negative ones will spur our desire to move forward. 2. Values ​​of a higher level. Here it is worth looking a little deeper, considering what is deeper and more valuable that achieving what we want will give us. This is essentially the same need, but conscious and brought to the level of values. 3. General framework of the present and future. Visualizing your goal whenever possible is a way to stay motivated and positive. Yes, there is a present where we have only gone some 1, 2 or 5 percent of the way. But no matter what, we must constantly keep in mind an image where we will have 100% of what we want. 4. The method of small steps. How to eat watermelon? The correct answer is one piece at a time. You need to rejoice at even the smallest progress towards your goal. Today I learned another guitar chord or skated five meters further, and that's good! 5. Personal involvement. There is no point in outsourcing what we should do ourselves. No one will walk this path for us. Only personal involvement and responsibility for every step. 6. Comparing yourself with yourself. The habit of looking to others other than those who are doing great can be very demotivating and cause a feeling of helplessness. In this case, to the other “I can’t”, “never” will be added. But, as one of the heroines of the stories in Napoleon Hill’s book said, “never is too long.” Comparing yourself to others is unproductive. The only person you stand with>>