From the author: The relevance of the topic of borderline personality disorder is currently, in my opinion, gaining momentum. This is not surprising, because until recently many people did not even know about such problems, but this applies to those who have not encountered personality disorder problems in their loved ones, especially children. Many people still don’t know what it is and how to help their child. In my work, I often encounter the helplessness of parents who are desperately looking for help, but do not always find it. This article is about how to deal with children with borderline personality disorder and how you can help your child. Until recently, children were extremely rarely diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Historically, this diagnosis was considered difficult to define and virtually incurable. After all, the symptoms associated with it are a mixture of emotional problems, unstable relationships with others and oneself, self-harm, as well as suicide attempts. Now the situation has changed. Until recently, it was a life sentence, and a person, in the literal sense of the word, was a hostage to his emotions. The modern understanding of the disorder gives hope that with the right approach to the problem, the prognosis can become more promising; many people suffering from the symptoms of the disease can successfully learn to regulate their emotions, stop self-destructive actions and improve the quality of their life significantly. Practice shows that treatment is most effective in adolescence, despite the fact that teenagers are already having a hard time growing up and he needs time to “get over it” and grow up, in this case, the sooner work with a teenager begins, the higher his chances of changing his condition. Borderline personality disorder has two bases: biological and social. Children suffering from a personality disorder “by nature” have peculiarities in the development of emotions, they are very sensitive, express their feelings violently, react sharply to external influences, are much stronger than most people, they need more time to calm down. When such a child encounters the environment environment, the disease begins to develop. The first social environment for him is the family (small social group). Problems arise in his interaction either with the family as a whole or with one of the most significant members of the family, mainly with the mother. They appear if family members do not recognize the feelings that the child experiences, ignore his needs to express emotions, neglect them simply because in most cases they seem excessive and inappropriate to them. Rejecting what seems wrong is a typical reaction of parents. This does not necessarily happen due to the mother’s dislike for her child; sometimes loving mothers, wanting to help and correct his behavior, can cause irreparable harm to the development of the child’s personality. Family members often cannot understand the reasons for a violent reaction to situations that seem to not deserve attention, because it is not typical for most people. If a child’s feelings are rejected by adults, he does not feel understanding and support from them, it becomes unbearably difficult for him to learn to manage them on his own. After all, it is adults who help the child name and define those feelings that he experiences for the first time in his little life: “You are angry, I understand, but...”, “I understand your feelings...”, “You are upset, but...” For a child who does not have emotional support from parents, with a biological predisposition to the disease, so-called emotional dysregulation develops, which is one of the symptoms of borderline personality disorder. There are many reasons for a biological predisposition to the disease: genetic predisposition, pregnancy, birth trauma, various forms of violence, both psychological and physical, stressful situations for the child. The term “borderline disorder” itselfPersonality" refers to the American System of Classification of Mental Disorders; in Russia, this name appeared relatively recently and for a reason; this was facilitated by the emergence of a branch of psychotherapy called "dialectical behavioral therapy", which makes it possible to provide assistance to people with emotional disorders. This is comprehensive assistance and is not yet widespread. There are currently quite a lot of children with various disorders in the development of the emotional and social sphere, and their number is increasing every year. Parents, fundamentally, have little knowledge of this disease and do not always look for help in the right places. Independent attempts to cope with the manifestations of the disorder in children only lead to aggravation of the problem. Turning to specialists who are far from knowing about this disorder only misleads both the parents themselves and those who need help. In the absence of skills to cope with emotions, persistent dysregulation arises in response to various life situations, which is subsequently extremely difficult to correct. This leads to many unpleasant emotional reactions, inability to cope with emotions, calm down, experience difficulties in distraction, switching, distortion in assessing the situation, as well as distortion of thinking. Without the ability to control one’s behavior, under the influence of negative emotions, emotional vulnerability develops, difficulty taking actions, achieving goals, all this leads to frustration and a persistent decrease in mood. “Emotional dysregulation is the inability, even with significant effort, to effectively influence one’s emotional experiences , actions, verbal and non-verbal reactions and manage them.”Parents often encounter “unreasonable anger” in their children, extreme manifestations of emotions towards loved ones, from “love” to “hate”, a pronounced feeling of loneliness, emptiness, as well as a feeling of self-loathing. Relationships in society do not work out for such children, as well as relationships with the opposite sex when growing up. They constantly conflict with someone, endlessly call, write, demand explanations, cling to relationships, or break them off at the first emotional outburst. All this is often a reason for suicide attempts and self-harm. To relieve their emotional state, teenagers cut their arms, legs, and scratch their skin until they bleed. If a teenager used this method to relieve emotional stress once and it worked, he will do it again and again. Parents who desperately struggle with this behavior of their children, not accepting their “dubious way of self-help,” only reinforce their actions; it is difficult for them to admit that this is a solution for the child that he found on his own, and try to give him knowledge about safer ways to alleviate their condition. There is a strong opinion that these actions are just manipulations of a teenager to obtain some benefit for himself; this misunderstanding is erroneous and has a detrimental effect on the relationship with the child, which can lead to irreparable consequences. This is not the case; children actually experience unbearable emotional pain that they cannot cope with. Their suicide attempts often reflect a need to avoid extreme manifestations of their disorder. Criteria by which experts define borderline disorder in children. Emotional instability, reactive behavior. Unstable self-esteem. Unstable relationships with others. Chronic feeling of inner emptiness. Difficulty controlling emotions, anger, impulsivity .Addiction: behavioral, drug, alcohol, food, etc. Suicidal behavior, self-deprecation, self-harm. Diagnosis of adolescents. Until now, experts are reluctant to diagnose people with a personality disorder before they reach adulthood, this is understandable and there are reasons for this: The child grows, everything can change for the better or for the worse, the observation method has not yet been canceled, with.