Personal boundaries are the subjective separation of our inner world from the outer world. And this is precisely the structure that helps us “not dissolve” in other people. Often, the concept of “personal boundaries” is considered only in the philistine sense, as a kind of “fence” with the help of which I can isolate myself from other individuals so that my resources are not “taken away”. While healthy boundaries are aimed at making communication high-quality, fulfilling and pleasant. Healthy psychological boundaries are, first of all, flexible boundaries. That is, they adapt to the social context, but at the same time enable the individual to clearly know and express his own needs. And what is equally important, healthy personal boundaries are one of the components of healthy self-esteem (this is about the question “how to love yourself”? First of all, pay attention to what personal boundaries you have and whether you have them at all) If the boundaries are weak or very strict, difficulties arise in communication: conflicts, inability or unwillingness to build close relationships. Weak boundaries. This is the case when, when communicating with other people, a person dissolves in them, loses himself. Especially if, subjectively, it seems that the other person is “better” in some way. Such a person understands and feels everyone except himself. This is where problems arise, such as lack of vitality and energy. Also, weak personal boundaries manifest themselves in the inability to get close to other people. That is, in intimacy a person loses himself, his “I”, his interests, his personal space. For example: a person cannot refuse help, although in fact he is not ready to help due to lack of time, or is not particularly interested in it. Another indicator of weak personal boundaries is fear. Fear of being rejected, fear of conflict, being bad, selfish. When a person has internal support, his own opinion, position and, as a result, a resource, he will not look for it in the outside world and, accordingly, he is not so afraid, unlike a person with which has no personal boundaries, because there is no dependence on other people's opinions. (At the same time, there is undoubtedly a narrow circle of close people whose opinion is important) Rigid boundaries. Oddly enough, this is the other extreme of broken boundaries. Hard boundaries establish a rigid barrier to the world. Here, on the contrary, there is a clear sense of self, but the person does not understand or feel others. That is, a person relies solely on himself and he absolutely does not care what not only others, but also loved ones think about him. In some matters it even helps, for example, to achieve the desired goal. But this has a negative impact on relationships, where you need to listen to the other person and feel him. A person with rigid boundaries never shares his feelings, dreams, desires with his partner. It hurts. (“I don’t want to burden you, so don’t violate my borders”, “Don’t meddle in my world, don’t touch me”, etc.). Naturally, such relationships cannot exist for long. The exception is codependent relationships. (which is already destruction). Reasons for broken boundaries. Weak boundaries appear in those people who were often scolded in childhood and were not allowed to express their opinions and positions. As a rule, in the “I myself” period (age 3 years), such a child was not allowed to make a choice that made it possible to feel his body, his desires. As an adult, such a child “loses himself,” “dissolves in other people.” And more often than not, it then goes to the other extreme - setting too strict boundaries and “forget about everyone, think only about yourself.” It happens that a person remains only within weak boundaries or only within strict ones. Or tired of one extreme. goes to another. These two options are not the norm by any means. Thus, healthy boundaries are about balance. That is, first of all. a person listens to himself, and then communicates with others: he communicates easily, can refuse, stop communicating, make decisions,.