Analysis of family parenting styles and separation trauma using the example of the film “My Boy” (2002) For me, this film is about the pain of unhappy children of unhappy parents. The film presents several family stories, but, in my opinion, they all unfold according to the same scenario. The main characters of the film, 12-year-old boy Marcus and 38-year-old Will, in my opinion, are very similar and they do not meet by chance, but completely naturally. Marcus mirrors Will's childhood traumas, which is why these two completely lonely, traumatized "children" find each other. Will is an infantile 38-year-old young man, has never worked, lives on dividends from a famous song once written by his father. His behavior pattern is dominated by attention to order and perfectionism. He is focused on details and diagrams: all the people of the island - he says - I am Ibiza. His day is divided into clear time periods, every moment is predictable, there is nothing alarming or unexpected. Lives quite separately and does not tolerate criticism well. The image of the future has not been formed; it can be assumed that the future causes fear, and therefore prefers to live in the rhythm of regulations, performing standard, routine actions when the rules are clearly defined. One gets the feeling that he is very afraid of losing what is safe and known to him. Fear of losing control over what is happening. Will is quite demonstrative; he cares about the impression he makes and how he looks in the eyes of others. Disadaptation of the narcissistic type is observed. It is important to note that the film clearly shows how his self-esteem fluctuates (the standard image is uncertainty, timidity). Narcissism is a compensation for low self-esteem, an impenetrable mental defense against dislike in childhood. As a rule, a person, displacing contempt for himself and others, constantly proves how amazing he is. A fairly striking example in the film is Marcus’s first phone call, Will agrees to invite him to lunch with his mother only in order to amuse his EGO, to once again prove to himself and others how good he is. All of the above demonstrates a violation of attachment between his parents and Will. There are different styles of parenting possible here, from hyper-custody to hypo-custody. Will shares that his mother made him sing “Santa’s Sleigh” to please his father and now the song annoys him. In my opinion, my father was so busy writing another hit and judging by the fact that a new song never happened, perhaps my father was sad or depressed. A “stuck” occurred, the body grew, but he himself remained a little boy. In my opinion, it is important to pay attention to the type of attachment. Since the film clearly demonstrates Casanova's syndrome, it can be assumed that an avoidant attachment style is dominant. Mothers with an avoidant attachment type are insensitive to the emotional state and needs of their child, which leads to the defensive behavior of the child, who, in order to avoid new disappointments in the mother, chooses a detached and indifferent manner of behavior. In the future, such people devalue the importance of close relationships, which is reinforced in behavior through an attitude of alienated independence. The manifestation of a need for intimacy is perceived by him as a threat, so he often changes sexual partners without taking responsibility for the developing relationship. Also, in promiscuous sexual relations, he acts out grievances against his mother. Will Will be able to be happy in a new family and how can this affect his health? In my opinion, it will be difficult for him, perhaps he will show unconscious actions to leave the existing relationship (unreasonable criticism, nitpicking over trifles, causeless insults, public humiliation of a partner); problems with trust will appear (excessive control, attacks of jealousy, the desire to see in the actions and actions of a partner an encroachment on one’s own freedom); there will be a clear focus onindependence (unwillingness or inability to ask for help or accept it, unwillingness to involve a partner in current affairs and problems); will be stingy in showing signs of attention, including a lack of emancipation in moments of intimacy; will show a strong desire to control the development of relationships without taking into account the interests of the partner, uncompromisingly marking boundaries and setting rules; If he does not feel superior and does not receive a dose of public praise and admiration, then depression may occur. It is also possible that a new relationship will “destroy” his usual order and regulations, and at the same time his sense of security, which can lead to addiction (alcoholism, drug addiction). Marcus is a 12-year-old teenager. In my opinion, Marcus being the only adult in this story is a case of putting a child in the position of a parent in relation to his own mother. Of course this relationship is traumatic for him. Both the father and mother of the child are demonstrative and infantile. The film begins with Marcus waking up long before the alarm clock and unable to sleep. It can be assumed that the sleep-wake pattern is disrupted due to prolonged stress. Fiona, Marcus’s mother, in my opinion, suffers from borderline personality disorder. She needs someone who is guaranteed to love her. The film shows a clear message that the child does not grow up: Marcus wears a child’s hat and sweater, calls him “my baby,” and the child’s drawings hang on the window. Thus, the mother provokes the persistence of infantilism and naivety; for her, the child is always a “baby”. In the process, the number of requests to the teenager is reduced and a pandering hyper-care and control is created. Only the mother knows what is necessary and right for the “baby”: sweets on Sundays, being a vegetarian, etc. “You always win in an argument, better tell me what to do... - Marcus shouts to her.” People suffering from BPD have problems with the feeling that someone really loves them and are constantly afraid that just a little more and they will remain no one necessary. Endless emotional swing: a bright period when they believe, love, idolize, forgive and turn a blind eye to everything, and also think out the positive aspects of the object of love, is replaced by severe depression, with a feeling of insignificance, powerlessness and emptiness. A loving, caring mother is replaced by a crying, detached and self-pitying mother. Under these conditions, it is very difficult for a child to form any kind of self-esteem. Mom can pass off both carrots and sticks as the same thing, depending on the state of mental health. Children of border guards have a poorly formed concept of what family is and what love is. This family demonstrates an anxious-ambivalent attachment style. Inconsistency in maternal behavior leaves children unsure whether their mother will support them if they need it. Subsequently, such people poorly regulate the boundaries of their own self, which is also demonstrated in the film. Marcus first stalks Will, then calls and manipulates him. Marcus is an awkward boy who is bullied at school and does not fit into any social group. Psychophysiological reactions to a stressful situation - freeze - turning off all feelings and emotions, sometimes reaching the feeling of loss of reality. One of the most common and destructive forms of stress reactions, as it is the hardest to get out of. Creativity – music is an outlet for both mother and son. In my opinion, when a mother plays and sings, she goes into a trance state and at this time becomes calm and safe, it is important for the child to be involved, when it is good for the mother, it is good for him. Marcus often sings unconsciously during lessons, most likely this is how the psyche relieves accumulated tension. Mom often tells him: “When you sing, it fills my heart with joy.” Marcus is a rescuer and is ready to do anything to make his mother feel better: “...even if it ruins my life...” The situation with his mother’s suicide attempt frightened him greatly, we can talk about PTSD, since he +79121267259