I read from Andrey Savenko about survivor’s guilt. I remembered a similar feeling: the guilt of the one who got out. And I want to share my thoughts and experience on this topic. I don’t pretend to be the ultimate truth, of course. What do I mean by “the guilt of the outlier”? A situation where the parental family had a low quality of life. The reasons are not that important. This could be alcoholism of one of the parents, mental illness of one of the family members, multiple moves, poverty. The parental family had a low quality of life, but the person copes well with life and achieves at least some success. And guilt begins to overcome him. It sounds something like this: I live in good conditions, but mine drink in poverty. I can get treatment, but they were sick and died early. A person is not responsible for the causes of their death and addiction, for their situation, but he feels guilty. And, naturally , trying to get rid of this guilt. In different ways: doing for parents what they themselves are capable of, indulging their not always healthy desires, helping someone similar in memory of their parents. And, for a while, it feels better for him. If the feeling of guilt is healthy, we can compensate for the damage done - and the guilt will go away. Something is wrong here. I think that initially “people from difficult families” have a lot of anger towards their parents - childhood was clearly not "sugar". Anger is not realized; it makes itself felt through a feeling of damage caused to parents. And a feeling of guilt. Until a person realizes anger, he will feel guilty. There is a certain snag in realizing anger. A person may well sympathize with suffering or suffering family members. It `s naturally. He may be sad about their difficult life (and partly about his difficult childhood). Feelings for the “family” are multidirectional - they are difficult to combine. It is socially approved to sympathize and help. Therefore, it is difficult to recognize anger; it is repressed. Perhaps it makes sense to start dealing with feelings - with sadness. After all, this person has “suffering parents”, but he “lost” happy ones. There is a difficult childhood - but a good and joyful one is lost. Perhaps, if the sadness is mourned, it will be possible to realize anger. And there will be no feeling of guilt. And then the parent can help “from the heart,” and not because guilt is pressing. Do you often feel guilty? Call 8-921-919-85-59, I accept in person and online.