Let's start a conversation on this topic from afar. This is straight from the depths of time. How was it before? Consistent and transparent. The child grew up, puberty occurred, then the period of preparation for adulthood and the search for a partner lasted - not very long, though... After that - a wedding, deflowering, well, that’s it. Then - the birth of children, but this is another story, not directly related to the current topic. It was assumed that there would be one partner. Well, under unfavorable circumstances - two or three, sequentially. At least for women it was a very strict requirement scenario. Now it’s different with us. At sixteen, as once happened, very few people get married, and in the literal sense. Up to twenty in general is also not much. But what about it? Finish school, get an education, back and forth... And a career? What about a car, an apartment, a dacha? As a result, the “socially approved” marriageable age is pushed closer to thirty. Well, and no one expects a woman to remain virgin until she is thirty... We will talk about this in more detail in the next chapter. Now we are talking about something else. About the fact that girls nowadays strive to “work up” before the wedding - as if in a race with men. The more you try, the better. No, well, really, you can’t sit innocently waiting for him-who-knows-who. Which, moreover, is unknown when it will appear. They'll laugh! And there are so many temptations... And everything is available... Mmmm... But how many problems stem from the fact that they are trying to equalize men and women. Just look at the demographic situation in the world. Those countries where male and female models have been “equalized” and mixed, or rather, a male model has been cultivated for both sexes, are moving towards... extinction. Well, yes. Look at Western Europe - there is widespread negative population growth. At the same time, those peoples who sent “unisex” through the forest are constantly increasing their numbers and populating (thanks to the good old emigration) countries where men and women have “equal rights”, and therefore they themselves have difficulty reproducing. In Russia, the demographics are better, but another is brewing a problem that could destroy our people at the roots. “Women have gone crazy, they only give birth to girls,” one high-ranking official once told us in a private conversation, who had come across medical statistics of recent years. Indeed, on average in Russia at the moment, five girls are born for every boy. What does this mean? A demographic catastrophe may occur in the near future. Well, there is, of course, another option - maybe harems will be legalized in our country. Then everything will be fine. One boy, five girls - a normal ratio. Wife for Monday, wife for Tuesday, and so on. And two days for the man to rest and psychological rehabilitation. And the five mothers-in-law should be separated from the family and isolated in a special dacha, where there are many beds and fruit trees... But speaking without irony, the situation is indeed very serious. Already, the ratio of men to women... hmm... leaves much to be desired. There is a real struggle for men. The number of divorced single women with daughters is simply frightening. Many women consciously refuse to find a husband; most easily take on the role of a mistress in the hope that someday the man will leave his wife. And if the situation does not change, then the Russian people risk disappearing altogether. But not because someone so bad from outside will come and conquer us, no. Just think for yourself - the first signs of a dangerous phenomenon for us have already appeared in the Far East. There are significantly fewer of our men there than women. The Chinese are taking Russian women as wives en masse (and with great pleasure). Naturally, who will be the children? Yes, Russian-speaking Chinese. In a few generations, when the Russian mothers die, there will be just Chinese speaking two languages. And there simply won’t be any Russians left there. On the other hand, much closer to the European part of Russia is the Caucasus, where everything is also in order with the size of the male population. And here it is the samethe situation is the same as in the Far East. And the point, in fact, is not about the Chinese and not about the Caucasians. We have nothing against them at all. The point is that there are not enough men in Russia, and fewer and fewer boys are being born. That is, a vacuum arises that will definitely begin to be filled in one way or another... But why are so few boys born? It's all because of contempt and hatred for men, feelings that women pass on from generation to generation, approximately - and very clearly - since the Second World War. Or maybe the process began even earlier... Just imagine the situation after the Great Patriotic War. There are almost no men left. The ratio of women to men in some places was twelve to one. Can you guess what was going on there? The husbands were taken away, beaten off, tied to themselves by hook or by crook. Anything to grab that “one” for yourself and become “the only one”... Men were taken away from their families, they were despised for having once left, they were secretly hated and gave birth to girls. It has long been known that if a woman is dissatisfied with a man, she gives birth to a girl, and if she is satisfied, then to a boy. Girls grew up and learned from their mothers to despise and hate men. Children never understand why their parents behave this way and whether it is worth repeating; they simply copy them, imitate them, even unconsciously. In the Caucasus, let’s say, this did not happen. There are fewer men - many families have appeared, where there is one husband and several wives. Fortunately, religion allowed them to do this. On the territory of Russia there was another “religion” - communism. Leveling. One man, one woman, made in the USSR. Those who did not strongly believe in communism had an alternative - Orthodox Christianity. The same communism, only from a different angle. As a result, these two most dangerous “mental viruses” ruined the fates of most people who survived the Great Patriotic War and were born after it. Patterns of behavior have become entrenched, as if cemented in the female and male psyches. And we come close to the main subject of conversation. So much for the crooked paths in modern Russia. Yes, yes, as you already understand, for our contemporary Russian woman this is not alcohol, drugs and “bad” company. No, unfortunately, for most of our girls the “crooked path” is to repeat the fate of their own mother. This “crooked path,” in principle, can be described in just three words: college, marriage, divorce. Or in four words: college, marriage, daughter, divorce. This situation is wrong, and its unfavorable consequences extend very far. There is just no need to blame anyone here: neither women, nor their mothers, nor husbands. No. We are writing about this for someone else. The current situation needs to be changed. The first step to change is awareness of the situation in its entirety and without embellishment. Without awareness, no change in any system is possible. Moreover, in a familiar, comfortable, well-established system. Why turn off the beaten path and go into the unknown? This requires reasons. Understanding. Knowledge. Because if you find out that your beautiful, comfortable liner is called “Titanic”, that the picturesque path along which you are walking turns out to lead to a lair of cannibals, then there is no need to doubt or hope for a miracle. It is necessary, in the language of certain circles, to give it a go, step up and run to the haza, leaving a dusty trail to the horizon. That is, work with your own psyche and change the model “institute, marriage, daughter, divorce” to the model “love, husband, boy, boy, boy, girl, girl... happy family life.” Men don’t leave such women - they want to stay with them forever. (If suddenly someone saw in the previous passage hints that the female part of the population does not need education, then this is a big personal misconception. To say that a woman does not need anything else, except family, would mean cutting off half of the truth, no more, no less. It’s just that everything has its time, place and meaning). Let’s now talk about the second, small part of our population.countries - about men, or more precisely, about young men. Not everything is smooth with young men either, because too many of them are now cut off from the “military” component in the maturation of masculinity and are fixated on the sexual (and some do not have access to it either). It turns out that the young man does not fight, he has no one to protect and he has no need to get anything, which, of course, directly and quite obviously affects his formation as a man. And the crooked path of a Russian man is also very original... But unlike a woman’s, it is multivariate, and cannot be summarized in four words. Although the main mistake of many men - a paradox, it would seem, but no - is to repeat the fate of their mother . Yes Yes. Not the father, but the mother. Imagine a boy who was raised by a woman who, deep down, despised and/or hated men. From her, twenty-four hours a day, a verbal and non-verbal message emanated: “You must obey me, otherwise you will be the same (nonentity) as your father.” This boy was forbidden to be “like dad,” that is, to be a man. And no matter what kind of person the father is, for the boy he is and will be the very first, most important example to follow. A standard, a subject of identification. Everything that is said about the father gets to the son. If a mother calls his father a bastard and an alcoholic, the son has only two options: either become an alcoholic and a bastard, or become... like his mother. Hmm. Well, you get the idea. These are two “crooked paths” for men in Russia: either abuse of wine and vodka products, or biased gender role behavior. The passive, almost feminine attitude of modern men has become such a “popular” topic that it has already set teeth on edge. In our practice, the overwhelming number of stories when mothers brought their sons to psychotherapy began in approximately the same way. The mother, after her numerous complaints about the child’s problems, was asked: – How does the father feel about this? – But we don’t have a father. Almost always this is said with great value and with great self-pity. Sweet self-pity. It’s immediately obvious that this is an excellent topic for manipulation; it’s easier to get special treatment from someone. Something like cut off arms or legs... Everything, they say, didn’t work out in my life because he left us! – Oh, no! Can't be! How did you do this?! An immaculate conception, without a father, is such a rarity... You must be the Holy Virgin Mary! The boy has no father. So you conceived him from the Lord God? Or from sea foam... Or maybe it was a moonbeam that fell on your clean womb? At least, in myths and religious treatises, conception without a father is described this way... Then, of course, it turns out that there is a father after all. But judging by the description, he is such a freak, a nonentity and generally a potentially dangerous type that it is better for a boy to either know nothing about him, or, conversely, know the whole truth - well, so as not to become like him. Almost from early childhood, a child is pushed either towards alcoholism or homosexuality. (It’s scary to even write about both together...) There are men who drink, rowdy and hooligan. They earn good money and in other respects are also examples of real masculinity, however, as long as they regularly drink alcohol... When they stop drinking and swear that they will never take another drop in their mouth, then, unnoticed even to themselves, they turn into weak, indecisive, effeminate individuals. This is precisely why it is so difficult for many to quit drinking: for them it means no less than losing their male identity. That is, again, by and large, alcoholism or homosexuality. Of course, not all “fatherless” boys grow up gay, but it is also very difficult for them to grow up to be full-fledged men. Only in one case can a boy in Russia become a man in the full sense of the word. He needs to “escape” from his mother, who is trying to mold him in her own image and likeness, to his father. Not necessarily to one’s own father - life develops in different ways - but to any strong, “clumsy”, stubborn man who is ready to act as a father for young boys. This