Abuse in relationships Relationships are, first of all, mutual understanding, support and love. It seems that everyone understands this and wants to build such relationships. However, the word “abuse” is increasingly appearing in our vocabulary, which implies a completely different model of relationships. They do not contain mutual understanding and love, but emotional and physical violence. It is important to recognize such relationships in time and end them before they exhaust you. Abuser: who is this in simple words? We will try to explain who an abuser is in words that everyone can understand. This is a person with some mental disorders, he always strives to lead, so to speak, to dominate another person and suppress him, both physically and emotionally. It often happens that he cannot control the desire to dominate and does it unconsciously. The aggressor does everything to ensure that the victim is completely submissive to him. He controls communication, finances, and destroys emotionally, that is, he does everything so that a person believes that he cannot live without his oppressor. The dictator influences the self-esteem of his victim and as a result, she begins to believe that she is good for nothing in this life and continues to remain close to her tormentor. Reasons for abuse: All this usually starts from childhood. Children read the behavior model of adults and then copy it in their adult lives. Psychological problems also lead to violence, for example, narcissism, psychopathy and others. A person does not know how to show care, compassion, empathy, puts himself above others and strives to control everyone. You need to work long and carefully on this. Another reason for abuse is very low self-esteem and a critical attitude towards oneself (this applies to both the abuser and the victim of abuse). Reasons for victims of abuse: Why does the victim tolerate the tyrant? She also has her reasons for this. These are such as: 1. The child grew up in such a family. The story is similar with the abuser. A person who has seen only such a pattern of relationships will naturally choose a similar one for himself. Either he was in the role of a victim from an early age, or this role was played by someone close to him.2. Low self-esteem. A person believes that he does not deserve the best in life. If this happens to him, then he deserves it.3. Fear of being alone. As a rule, women are afraid to be alone. Having children makes the situation worse. Abuse in relationships: A tyrant does not have to physically oppress his victim. Often moral violence is stronger and has irreparable consequences. They entail a complete devaluation of the individual and the destruction of self-esteem. Abuse in relationships can take many forms. 1. Constant reproaches and belittling of the importance of everything the victim does. He usually says that he is doing his partner a favor by being near him.2. Blackmail and guilt. The abuser “plays” on the feelings of his victim. He blames her for it, making her feel terrible.3. Emotional roller coaster. The tyrant is either cold with his victim, or makes him feel the most beautiful and beloved.4. Isolating your partner from communication and society. The abuser controls his victim in everything and always. Does not allow you to communicate with relatives and friends. He tells the victim that they are a bad influence on their relationship. Abuser woman: main signs of devaluation as a father, husband, lover; constant threats to file for divorce; hysterics, lies, betrayal. comparison with other men, and not in favor of the victim; ridicule and humiliation of a man in front of colleagues, friends, etc.; quarrels, jealousy, and then passionate reconciliation; ignoring comments and requests; Male abuser: main signs You can identify male abusers by the following signs: stories that all relationships before were bad, but now it will be better. bad jokes and irony