From the author: I’m sharing my thoughts about responsibility...I very often hear conversations on the topic “all men are assholes.” I wanted to understand this topic a little. Feminism. Equality. And despite all this, a woman very often finds herself in the position of a victim, depending on the man: from financial to emotional. Having some experience in relationships, I want to “divide the responsibilities of the parties.” Is it always the man's fault? Let's look at examples. 1. A woman on maternity leave. The most dependent and vulnerable position in a woman’s life. She depends on her husband financially (sometimes completely!), physically (the child periodically needs to be left with someone), emotionally (the circle of contacts is significantly narrowed, often the husband is the only one with whom the woman communicates). In this dependent position, it is difficult for a woman and, oddly enough, safe! All responsibility falls on the husband (material, mainly). Very rarely does a woman find the opportunity to work while on maternity leave, it is much easier to blame her husband for her financial problems: after all, he has the physical ability to work, he is the head of the family, he should, and let’s blame him... And I’m poor, with a child/children I’m so exhausted, how can I earnings, here he is a husband, he owes it, but he can’t cope! Opera “he is bad, I am unhappy.” We separate responsibility. 1) the husband is not omnipotent. During periods of material difficulties, it is necessary to take into account that in addition to male responsibility and opportunities, there is also an EXTERNAL factor: the environment in which we live. This is a city/settlement, with its own characteristics and conditions. With its own limitations. Not everything is in the hands of man. A man lives in certain conditions, in a certain environment. The environment also has an impact. Not everything is under the control of a man. It is alive and has limitations. It would be good to discuss the financial issue at least during pregnancy. A woman always has a choice: to give birth or not to give birth, from whom to give birth and how many. 2) when a woman decides to give birth to a child, it would be good to understand why she is doing this. FOR YOUR PLEASURE. To realize oneself as a woman, a mother. If a woman is capable, she must understand her part of the responsibility in financial matters. If a woman is not particularly successful financially, from my point of view, it is not very fair to place high demands on a man to provide for the family. 3) A woman rarely admits that she is going on maternity leave precisely because of anxiety. Anxiety about finding a job, making money. Yes, not all women. But this phenomenon is very common. And then there is definitely a shifting of responsibility: it’s my job to give birth, it’s not my fault that I don’t work and don’t earn money, but you owe me and my children, and you owe a lot. Everything we do in our lives, we do FOR OURSELVES. If a man can provide his family with an excellent income, he does it primarily for himself. To succeed as a man, husband and father. This significantly increases self-esteem and generally allows you to realize yourself. If a woman gives birth to children, she also does it because SHE wants it. The truth always explains differently :) and in connection with this it often manipulates.2. The man is cheating. Yes, it is difficult to deny the fact of guilt. Guilty. But here we also separate responsibility: 1) why does this man need two women? Why does he live this way and not otherwise? 2) And most importantly: women, dear ones, WHY DO YOU need this? Why do you fall in love with such men? What attracts you so much to them? Why do these situations repeat themselves in your life? How is this about you? What does the position of the injured party give you? What are you getting? These are things that are very difficult to comprehend. And this is not your fault, this is your misfortune. And it would be good to deal with it.3. A man often insults a woman and shows disrespect. The main question is: WHY? Why does the woman he lives with need this? HOW does she allow him to do this? How does she organize the space around her, attracting boors into her life? Summarizing vivid examples and many other situations, we can draw conclusions: - the dependent position is very BENEFITABLE, it’s not for nothing that a large number of women have been in it for many years; - freedom is so!