Hello friends! Today I would like to once again raise the topic of happiness, choice, life and how we sometimes treat ourselves and why we do it.. .What does it mean to “live not your own life,” but whose life you can live? Let’s figure it out! You can “live” the life of loved ones, friends, family, parents, children... plunging into their problems, solving them, making decisions for these people, trying to manipulate them or, on the contrary, falling under their manipulation. Why does a girl (woman, man) choose such a scenario for herself (most often unconsciously)? Different options are possible: - sometimes it was instilled in her as a child that caring for others is right, and “choosing” yourself and your life is selfishness. And so she lives according to the principle “my life is not as important as helping others, solving their problems, being a savior and a deliverer from troubles and adversity for loved ones”; and this option is also possible when a girl (woman, man) feels that that her life is not exciting, that there is nothing interesting or important in it, she doesn’t like this life and “chooses” to immerse herself in the lives of friends, husbands, children or parents. One way or another, “choosing” not her life, but the life other people - can a person “receive” something significant for himself - in his life? Or does such an approach doom him only to giving, sacrificing, giving himself to other people and expecting joy and satisfaction from gratitude, which may or may not happen or will it not be as long-lasting or “strong” as we would like? And there is another option for living a life that is not your own: When parents expect a certain behavior, achievement, or reaction from the child. They want the child to embody (perhaps) what the parents failed to embody - to become a successful lawyer, ballerina, artist, and the child, wanting to win the love of mom and dad, begins to realize this image. In this case, the child grows, matures, styling himself into this image that parents expect from him (her), studying at university, choosing a job, and often the family that mom or dad approves of. Is there happiness in this for such a grown-up child? Can such a person be happy not in the choice that “dictates” the true desire - or, living in the role imposed by the parents - such a grown-up child cannot even understand what he (she) really wants? Not to mention affording it. After all, no one ever asked, “What do you want? What do you like?” - parents always knew what and how was best for the child and there was no question of any choice. And here’s what I would like to say: If you feel that there is no happiness in your life, you don’t know what you want or don’t want anything For yourself, you seem to be an adult (according to your passport), but you don’t feel like an adult for unknown reasons. Please think about whether you are living “your” life? Do you make your own choices in life, or are your choices dictated by the desires of other people, circumstances, or something else? If you want to start the path to yourself, I invite you to the course: https://www.b17.ru/courses/lyubov_k_sebe_trening/?prt=164804, where I will help you get to know yourself and accept yourself. If you found this article useful or interesting - I will be glad to see your “likes” and comments) Your psychologist, Ordina Lyubov