When communicating with acquaintances, friends and colleagues, I understand that there is much more betrayal in our lives than we think. It’s just that very often the injured party prefers not to notice it. It's like the first reaction to shock. What do you want to do? Close your eyes and pretend it didn't happen. That is why you so sincerely want to believe until the last moment in “Darling, this is not what you thought,” even if your dear one just pulled you off a half-naked girl in her own bedroom. You don’t want to see the truth, because it hurts. And who will willingly like to experience pain? So we endure to the last, they say, this is just an erotic correspondence “what is that?” Everyone will now say in words, but at the first suspicion I will throw her/him out the door. But in reality, they live with cheating partners like bunnies. It would be funny if it weren’t so sad. One client complained to me for months that his wife didn’t want sex with him, defended her, justified her, but the poor thing gets tired at work, business trips, crazy schedule, she has some kind of pain. Not a single argument of mine that a woman in love wants sex entered his head. Once again she comes for a consultation and says: “Damn, Katya, well, I’m a deer.” And he’s silent... They were silent for about five minutes... It’s all over, he says and shows me a message with something like the following content: “my bear, take the handcuffs this time, we haven’t done this in Paris yet.” My wife was getting ready to go on a business trip to Paris, and very unfortunately she mixed up the subscriber number. And the sores were apparently immediately cured, and strength was found. If your partner doesn’t sleep with you for a long time, that means someone else is lucky))) In general, if a person reports something that he will never, never, for any money (won’t forgive betrayal) - the dog is buried here. This means that not everything is so simple with this topic, and somewhere it was painful in this place. There is an unclosed gestalt somewhere. And they, as you know, strive for endless repetition until they are completed. And, paradoxically, people most often cheat on people who are very afraid of it, who are fixated on this topic. Who does this more often, men or women? In my experience, it's equal. The number of betrayals has long ceased to depend on gender. It seems to me that the ideas are outdated, such as a man cheating for no reason, and a woman cheating for love, and therefore female cheating is more terrible, and male cheating is easy to forgive. Seriously? Women are now more than willing to arrange one-night stands for themselves, and men sometimes fall headlong in love with their mistresses and leave their wives. Let’s not turn on the moralizing mode now and shout “Ay-yay, cheating is bad, you can’t take your husbands away.” If I fall in love with someone else’s husband, God forbid of course), I will do everything in my power to take him away from the family. Everyone has the right to happiness, including wives, mistresses, and the main character of the unfortunate triangle. Everyone must protect their interests by all means available to them. But it is important to do this within one’s own boundaries, and, it’s not even worth mentioning, within the legal framework. Most often, cheating destroys a relationship, but in some cases the saying “a good leftist strengthens a marriage” holds true. Because sometimes it’s possible to “smoke” on the side and bring sexual energy into the couple. But it seems to me that this only applies to couples with deep emotional attachments who have eaten a ton of salt together. Cheating is not always the end of a relationship. Undoubtedly, for some people this is true, I will not forgive, period. It's important to respect yourself here. However, with certain actions, everything can be adjusted if there is a desire. During consultations, when the client sits, cries and talks about the irreparable pain that a partner’s betrayal brought, I always give approximately one, the most important piece of advice in my opinion: if you have been cheated on - propose separation, and distance yourself (move to another apartment, close yourself off emotionally, it is important to give negative reinforcement to a negative action). Cheating, first of all, is a blow to self-esteem, and it must be restored as quickly as possible. And without distance from the source of pain, this issue cannot be resolved. The second one can and will be.