You can’t talk about boundaries without touching on the topic of parenting. It all starts from childhood. And personal boundaries too. Like if your mother ever forced you to wear boots that you didn’t like 😅 When parents don’t respect the child’s choice, burst into the room without knocking, rummage through things, get into the phone - how is it possible to create personal boundaries in this suffocating environment? On the contrary, everything is going downhill. The child’s ability to understand what can be done with him, what cannot be done, what he wants or does not want, what makes him happy, captivates or saddens, gradually atrophies. An adult who grew up in such a poisoned environment only has two behavior options available: 🔹️merge your boundaries (do whatever you want with me) 🔹️attack strangers (I will do whatever I want with you) The internal emptiness created in the family is so unbearable whines that it requires satiating it with something. Most often it is filled with another Personality, which a person without a sense of boundaries wants to literally devour and appropriate. A clear example is a codependent relationship in which the partner is perceived as a third leg. When there are no boundaries, there is fusion. One person no longer distinguishes himself from another, his desires from the desires of another. He does not feel where his own “I” ends and the second individual person begins - with HIS thoughts and emotions. Therefore, you can be prohibited from buying a dress or dragged to self-development courses. He's a part of you. You know exactly what will be better. Yes, on the surface this is served with the sauce of care. But if in depth, this is a problem of emotionally dependent relationships. As soon as a person loses the sense of boundaries (the separation of the other from himself), then love begins to tilt towards codependency. What to do? The easiest and fastest way to work through personal boundaries is in psychotherapy. The specialist creates a healthy field with the client, within which the person learns to understand and feel the boundaries, both his own and those of others. For example, if you are late for a consultation, the psychotherapist will not extend the time. Having acquired a new skill with a psychologist, a person transfers it to real life. Good and strong personal boundaries give self-confidence and adequacy. The field of such a person resembles a strong package that prevents any leakage of forces not where he himself needs to go. People with bad boundaries, on the contrary, are weak, dependent, constantly giving up their territory and draining energy. Their field seems leaky, resources are leaking, and poor borders are unable to protect them. Such a person violates the space of other people. But only for the reason that he absolutely does not feel his own personal space. He is either rude or admiring. Either he tries to demand, or he humiliates himself. He crawls up with a request, and then suddenly takes the top position. The weaker the boundaries, the more unpleasant a person is in communication. Like the topic, friends, and in the next post I will begin to reveal the secrets of friendship with personal boundaries! Share your impressions, it’s starting to become clearer?