Quite recently I came across a show with the interesting title “Waited.” After the description of the program, interest arose, and in fact, I am sharing with you a brief overview. “Waited,” or as people also like to call them, “absentee students” - these are women who meet convicts and spend their future lives waiting for their lover to be released from prison. Programs, long dates, promises of a happy life - the same aesthetics of romance with a prisoner. Well, in fact, in this show they talk about women who are waiting for their chosen ones from prison. The most surprising thing is that they did not know these men before their imprisonment. But such acquaintance and the fact that a person is serving time in prison does not frighten them at all, and sometimes, on the contrary, only fuels their interest. So, how often can you meet a woman who, throughout her life, is faced with the problem of choosing the wrong partner? I think often. Such women, from time to time, come across the wrong men, even when they are purposefully looking for a partner according to the criteria. Many see a bit of mysticism in this, for example, the evil eye or the “crown of celibacy,” but the answers can long ago be found if we turn to psychology. You don’t see the tendency to choose a partner from a number of prisoners every day. Therefore, I propose to consider what reasons there may be for such a seemingly conscious, but seemingly not, choice of a partner. Well, the first thing we will start with is the “romanticization of the bad guy.” Very often you can find the image of a bad guy in modern cinema or in books. According to the law of the genre, a bad guy falls in love with a good girl and changes for her. But such stories don’t work in life, and women still continue to believe in fairy tales, thereby trapping themselves in reality. Secondly, the comfort zone. Living with a person who could harm you at any moment or land you back in prison can hardly be called a comfortable zone, but sometimes it is. Women who grew up in such conditions or are simply accustomed to this lifestyle may feel inadequate with an ordinary partner. Accordingly, there is a craving to return everything to normal, where fear and risk become common feelings in everyday life. Third, low self-esteem or a negative self-image. Sometimes a woman can be told that she simply does not deserve a good partner nearby. Thus, a negative self-perception and a certain sense of guilt before society can push women to seek only the kind of partners they deserve. Accordingly, they become convinced that they will not meet anyone better than a prisoner. One woman on the program even said: “I have two children, who needs me? There is no chance of finding a normal man, so let there be at least one.” Actually, these words bring us to one more point. Fourth, a persistent fear of loneliness. Low self-esteem, of course, plays a key role in the presence of this fear, but it is simply impossible not to highlight this point as a separate one. Most women are really so afraid of being left without a partner that they are ready to personally throw themselves into the mouth of a volcano. Relationships can be compared to a departing train, and such men are like the last carriage. And this fear of loneliness can sometimes distort life so much that later loneliness does not seem like the most terrible prospect. Fifth, delusions and illusions. Sometimes women may think that a man from this category will be a good family man and a support for a woman. And of course, the wrong belief is that such a man will be able to better protect a woman and in the future the family. Understanding this phenomenon can take a very long time and scrupulously, but one fact still remains obvious: it is important to be able to choose the right partner and not create illusions for yourself in my head.