From the author: Answers to customer questions. Consultations by e-mail. More details: I'm afraid of losing my husband Question Hello, Zhanna! That's the problem. Pathological fear of losing her husband. I'm afraid that he will betray, leave for someone else or simply fall out of love, fear that he will die... A little about myself: my parents are divorced. My father has a different family, there is no mutual understanding with him. My mother and I were close friends all our lives... until my first man appeared... and my ex-husband (first). He was an alcoholic and was not averse to spending time in company (without me), but I loved him, I felt pathological dependence, attachment and fear of losing him. My husband left me a year later. We divorced. Several years have passed. I met my current husband. I love him, we live with his parents. Now he is temporarily unemployed, but his father provides for the whole family. My husband is getting ready for his next course. Cooking courses!!! I go to work, and he goes to courses where bored housewives go!!! I already have a picture in my mind that my husband, having thoroughly enjoyed the female attention, will greet me coldly... And after work I will be tired, and will not be able to compete with his cheerful classmates... These are the thoughts. I want to get rid of this abnormal attachment... Help me understand the reasons and find a way out... Lena K. Answer Hello, Lena! Let's step aside a little and look at all this with a different perspective. Your father left you. You don’t see him, that is, you have lost your father. For every woman, the father and the relationship with him are the root of relationships with men - husbands, bosses, authorities. Every daughter has very important contact with her father, no matter what happened with her mother. In family relationships, both husband and wife are always to blame; there is never just one culprit. Many divorced women remain offended after a divorce and treat men with hatred, thereby destroying the lives of their children. They instill in them that their father is to blame for all troubles, thereby cutting off the vital roots of their children. Without accepting your father, you cannot be happy in marriage. Your parents are both of equal value to you. The relationship with the Father is the original attitude towards the male the beginning. And your husbands come to you as teachers, they teach you to respect and accept them as they are and thereby return you to the original source - your father. Those men who come to you are those whose behavior is unworthy of respect, or who behave with you in a similar way. By not respecting the Father, you attract similar men to you, and this will continue until you turn to your father and accept him into your heart as a father, such as he is. What happened between mom and dad - this is their business, they are EQUALLY to blame and both are responsible to the Universe for this. You need to accept your father into your heart, no matter what he is. Give him a loving place in your heart, next to your mother. How old were you when your father left? You have lost the most important man for you, so you are afraid of losing your husband. And maybe your mother was very worried about the loss of her husband, she still couldn’t accept it with humility, and now you are experiencing her feelings. In order to get rid of someone else’s script, accept everything that your parents had with understanding and love. This is their life. They are responsible for their own lives. You are just their child. Children have no right to judge and neglect their parents. Your whole life depends on it. This is the law. And for starters, you can call your father and say: “Dad, hello, I missed you a lot.”…»