A name is a serious thing. There are names - time bombs.V. Pelevin They work with names in many areas of modern therapy - psychosynthesis, art therapy, family therapy, various approaches that study the influence of family history on a person, etc. In working with children and adults...Before considering specific work options, let's figure out why a person's name is given such great importance...The meaning of a name. “What word do we hear most often in life? Where does the separation of oneself from others begin? The child is called, called by name, called out, etc. Little children already know who they are and what their names are. And if you are asked the question: “Who are you?”, then most of you will probably say your name to identify yourself... A person’s own name, like nothing else, correlates with oneself. According to the definition given by the “Linguistic Encyclopedic Dictionary”, a proper name is a word or phrase that serves to individualize the named object, distinguishing it from a number of similar ones. A name is a distinctive feature of one person from another. Without knowing the name, it is difficult to retain the external appearance in memory acquaintance, by the way, the meaning of the word “get acquainted” is precisely to find out the name of the person with whom you met by chance. “Before the name, a person is not a person, neither for himself nor for others... only the possibility of a person, the promise of such...” (P. Florensky). There is no word in the language that could be compared with a name in terms of frequency of use, influence on character , the power of expressing feelings. Entering history, consolidating one’s place, one’s reality in it, has always been designated as “creating a name for oneself”... By the name one can judge a person’s origin, nationality, and religion. Names reflect traditions, legends and traditions... Research on the name. Since ancient times, the connection between the name and the fate of a person has been traced, or more precisely, the influence of the name on the actions and character of its bearer. It is believed that the sound of a name contains a large amount of information. A name is a set of dull and voiced sounds that, when combined, form a kind of melody. French researcher Pierre Rouget in his book “The Influence of a Name on a Person’s Life” speaks of the “music of a name,” which, in his opinion, determines a person’s destiny. Based on this theory, each letter of the name is a source of vibration that affects a person’s character. Thus, we can say that we live in eternal music - suggestion. Considering the sound and letter symbolism of the name, some experts believe that it shows the influence of two energies YIN - female (passive) and YANG - male (active). From this perspective, the consonants of the alphabet represent yang qualities, and the vowels represent yin qualities. If a female name is a derivative of a male name, it means that the girl will have predominant masculine qualities - assertiveness, activity, leadership, etc. The first letter of the name also indicates the predominance of masculine (consonant) or feminine (vowel) qualities. The number of vowels and consonants in a name also affects the ratio of “male” and “female” personality characteristics. The use of several names - diminutive, affectionate, full - affects the balancing of the Yang and Yin components of the name in the direction of increasing, decreasing or harmonizing the two principles. P. Florensky, an outstanding Russian scientist and philosopher, devoted a special work “Names” to the study of the connection between names and character. He believed that everyone has an original, genuine name, which parents, when naming a child, can guess or not guess. If the latter happens, then the person with the “wrong” name will continue to live his own life. A modern civilized person, cut off from tradition, having received a name, albeit vaguely, but still gradually comes to understand its significance, including the realization that for some reason he was unlucky with the name. Many can probably remember one or two acquaintances who categorically do not accept their name given at birth. Quiteit is possible that changing a name upon reaching the required age is not a whim, but an unconscious following of some deep-seated tendency. Russian researcher at the beginning of the century S. R. Mintslov wrote: “Looking into the past, you are amazed at the uniformity of character and properties of bearers of the same name.” He came to the idea that the name given to a person predetermines, to some extent, the traits of his personality, and, accordingly, his fate. Each name has its own meaning. For example, Alexander means “protector”, Natalya means “native”. When a child receives a name, this etymology is updated. The name of each person is the primary suggestive command, which in an extremely concentrated form contains his entire life scenario. When giving or taking a new name, you need to “try it on” in the same way as trying on shoes, because a person with him to walk on earth. Thus, a person’s name is a code of fate. Some people believe that numerology can help parents determine a name for a child. We are talking about numerology in its simplified version, i.e., an alphanumeric code based on the teachings of Pythagoras. Every name has its own number, which is established by converting letters into numbers using a special table, and then reduced to an elementary number. In this way one can find out the strength of a person and his true character. This probably explains why people in creative professions often take pseudonyms. They strive to “improve” their name, i.e. fate. A person changes his name, as a rule, not because he “grew” from the previous one - but because the previous one is not “beautiful” enough and produces the “wrong” impression. Mythology of the name. Many ancient traditions and rituals are associated with the name. Unless, of course, you think that our ancestors were uneducated, wild creatures who “lived in the forest and prayed to the wheel,” let’s remember them. The magic of the name Through names, a person understands the world (remember the biblical plot about Adam naming animals and plants). Nomination - giving a name - is the primary act of awareness, mastery and power over reality. For the ancients, the connection between a name and the person it designated was something like a material bond, thanks to which it was no more difficult to exert a magical effect on a person through a name, than through nails, hair or any other part of the body. This is a vivid example of contagious magic, according to which things that were once in contact are constantly in contact. Whatever the sorcerer does with this or that object belonging to a certain person, it will inevitably affect the person. According to J. Frazer, “many of the primitive people considered names an essential part of themselves and made a lot of efforts to hide their true names and thereby protect themselves from intruders.” American Indians, for example, believed that misuse of a name caused no less harm than a bodily wound. Therefore, it was better to never say the name at all. You've probably heard about the method of black magic (voodoo): make a wax doll, name it after the enemy and destroy it in one way or another. Different manufacturing methods, different spells, one thing remains the same: for a deadly ritual, the doll must receive a name. And not just any name, but the name of a specific person who was the victim of the ritual. And if the name is unknown, can harm be done? “Even a sorcerer must keep his Real Name secret. Because the name reflects the object... - And the Real Name is the essence of the object. To call the Name means to command this object.” (Ursula Le Guin. The Rule of Names.) Naming a force, creature, person or thing is a multi-valued matter. In cultures where names are carefully chosen for their magical or auspicious meaning, to know a person's true name is to know his life path and the qualities of his soul. And the reason why the real name is often kept secret is the desire to protect the owner of the name, to give him the opportunity to grow into the power of the name; then no one will be able to denigrate or belittle, and the spiritual power of a person will develop to its fullest potential.least. This custom is reflected in many fairy tales, where a hostile force tries to find out the name of the hero in order to defeat him, most often the search for a name is aimed at summoning a force or person, attracting them to itself and establishing a relationship with them. With particular clarity this magic of the word is shown in the Egyptian “Book of the Dead,” where chapter 127 tells how the Soul, on its journey through the afterlife, finds itself in front of a locked door. “We won’t let you through,” her constipation says, “until you tell us our name.” “I will not let you pass by me,” says the left door pillar, “until you tell me my name.” The right pillar says the same and the deceased names the names of each part of the door. “I will not let you pass through me,” says the threshold, “until you tell me my name.” “I won’t open it for you,” says the door lock, “until you tell me my name.” The hinges, jambs and floors say the same thing. And only if the Soul pronounces the correct names, the door with the words “You know me, come in” opens. This plot is extremely important for us, since here naming means opening doors. Knowing the Name opens Power."The ancient taboo not to reveal one's true name still sits somewhere in the very depths of our concepts of norms of behavior. Therefore, when we hear the common question: “Girl, what is your name?”, the first thing we do is subconsciously feel anxiety ( someone unknown for some unknown reason is trying to find out my name), and this anxiety is especially great if the question was not preceded by the message: “I am Fedya.” However, even if we found out that the interlocutor’s name is Fedya, this is hardly reassuring, because no one knows. acquaintances cannot explain what kind of person he is, and one has to rely only on what he will tell about himself. The following protective technique seems quite logical, which is sometimes practiced by young girls, not knowing that there is nothing new under the sun and the technique this one has existed for more than one thousand years. “My name is Masha,” the girl says to the impudent, but, in general, not disgusting-looking Fedya, although in fact her name is Katya. “My name is Slender Bamboo,” some native tells the annoying European. ethnographer, although the whole tribe knows him as the Clumsy Log." There are many traditions in culture in which a person had several names (for example, two or three). Moreover, only his relatives knew him by one, by another the whole community, and only the third was his real name, known only to the Gods. “No one knows the Real Name of a person except himself and the one who gave him this Name. Of course, sometimes he can reveal it to his brother, wife or friend, but they should never use it if they can be overheard by others. In the presence of others, they are required to call a person by his usual name or nickname. He who knows a person’s Name holds his life in his hands.” - Ursula Le Guin writes in her book A Wizard of Earthsea. The novel does not take place in our world, but it illustrates earthly customs quite well. The ancient Egyptians were especially careful about names. For each person there were two names: true (big) and good (small). Everyone knew the good name, while the big name was kept in deep secret and was pronounced only during rituals. Indian Brahmins also had two names. One was intended for everyday use, and the second was known, besides the person himself, only to the father and mother. In China, nicknames and secondary names were also used in everyday life, which were not considered part of the person. Thus, an adult man was called by the name of his child, because it was assumed that children had no enemies and, therefore, did not face any dangers associated with witchcraft. Taking into account the desire of people to protect themselves from witchcraft spells, it is easy to explain the emergence of various taboos on pronouncing names. The following prohibitions can be distinguished: on the names of relatives, deceased, rulers and other sacred persons, as well as on the names of gods. Family members addressed each other using degrees of relationship (wife, daughter, son, daughter-in-law) or family nicknames (from where it’s not far from second, non-secret anda fake name that can be called in front of everyone). Sometimes it was forbidden not only to call relatives by name, but also to pronounce words that had at least one common syllable with a given name. Among the Kaffirs, a woman was not allowed to pronounce the names of her husband and his brothers, father-in-law and other male relatives; if the stressed syllable of a name was found in another word, it was necessary to replace this syllable or the entire word. As a result, Kaffir women developed something like their own language, which was nicknamed “female dialect.” The basis of the taboo on the names of the dead is the superstitious fear of the dead. People were afraid to disturb the souls of the dead. The name of the deceased was “forgotten,” and relatives, if their names sounded similar, immediately took new ones for fear that familiar sounds might attract the deceased to his previous home. If the name of the deceased coincided with the name of any object of common use, the latter was immediately renamed. The names of leaders and priests were kept secret because enemies, having recognized them, could harm the rulers, and through them, the entire tribe. The names of deities were very important for people great significance, because they were associated with the power of superpowers. Usually deities had many names. However, it was believed that the gods carefully hide their true names in order to prevent people from acquiring unlimited power over them. According to the orthodox interpretation, God revealed His name so that people could worship Him only under His true name. True, Jehovah sets one condition: “You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain”; The name of God is not to abuse it, but to worship God through it. And what kind of “safety precautions” did the Slavs have? How did they try to protect themselves and their loved ones? If an unprepared person looks at the list of names used by the Slavs, he may be very surprised (to put it mildly). Can you imagine parents who (voluntarily!) would give their child such names: Wear, Failure, Lack of Love, Blockhead, Fool, Goat's Butt? Meanwhile, there were such names. Did our ancestors really not love their own children? On the contrary, they did. The parents were not monsters at all, and when choosing a name for the child, they were guided solely by concern for him.. Anything, of course, happened, maybe not for every family the child turned out to be so desirable, but most often, scientists believe, in such cases we We are dealing with names-amulet."The ancient Slavs tried to appease evil spirits - to name the child so that the name would not turn out to be a call of a demon; in addition, babies were sometimes deliberately given dissonant names in order to ward off the threat from them. It was believed that evil spirits would never They will not be flattered by a person with a dissonant name. Therefore, it is worth immediately naming the child after some obvious nasty thing, which any self-respecting spirit will pass by with a strong grimace... For example, there is a family in which children died in infancy. reason? Surely the evil spirits were up in arms, people reasoned. When they see that such a desired child has been born again, they will immediately want to destroy him in every possible way. Maybe they can be deceived? If you immediately give a child a “bad” name, then stupid spirits will think that this child is not such a treasure for the parents and is not at all so dear to them. And if you give the name Alien, Naida, perhaps the evil spirits will think that the child is a foundling, and will they also bypass it? Some peoples even staged a whole performance for the spirits. The father would take the newborn child, take it out into the yard, leave it for a while, then someone would come out and find the “foundling,” everyone was surprised and scolded the parents who dropped the child off, but, so be it, they left the “foundling” in the family . It is clear that since the child is not his own and is so offended by fate, evil spirits will not pay attention to him. It was possible, of course, to do otherwise, for example, to unobtrusively hint at the child’s relationship with the Gods. Names of this type can be found among many nations. Perhaps most of the names we still use todaywere precisely amulets. Judge for yourself. If the meaning of the name is “given by God” (Bogdan), it means that God will be angry if his gift is spoiled by some small demons. If the meaning of the name is “dedicated to God,” then God will be angry if someone encroaches on his property. And if the meaning of the name is “son of God” (whoever he is), then, probably, God will always stand up for his child" (Kublitskaya I.V. Names and surnames. Origin and meaning). Much later, with With the advent of Christianity, it occurred to someone that God himself could be busy at the right moment, and the newborn could be given a name in honor of the martyr who died for the faith. From that moment on, the child was not only given a name, but also accepted into the fold of the Christian faith - And now, if an adult underwent the baptism ceremony, he changed his old name to a new one from the list of saints and martyrs. It was believed that the saint in whose honor the person was named would help him and protect him, that is, he would become his good angel. began to be called saints. For greater convenience, recommendations were subsequently made on which day to commemorate which of the saints, the names were distributed according to the calendar, and they began to be called calendar names. The day when the memory of the saint in whose honor the person was named was called name days, or the day of the angel. For example, February 14 is St. Valentine's Day, a newborn on this day is given the name Valentin or Valentina (the church name of the author of the article). What other “shields” did the Slavs put up against evil spirits? Sometimes it happened that in a family the girls survived, but the boys did not. It is quite logical then to call the long-awaited boy a girl’s name: again, they say, a girl was born, what can you do? What are the complaints? It could have been the other way around - the girl was given a male name. The meaning of such a change was that the person with the new name was already, as it were, different, with a different fate, and the person with the same name seemed to have died, and all the spirits’ claims to him died along with him. They acted in a similar way if a person was seriously ill. By the way, they changed their name not only in case of illness, but also in case of chronic failures in economic affairs. Thus, our ancestors believed that names had a magical ability to protect a person. How did children live with such names? Why have we never seen them in adults? This is connected with another tradition. Remember, each person had at least two names - among the Slavs - “children’s” and “adult”. Zharov S.A., Reshetnikov G.M. ("Adult and child's name") describe this tradition as follows: "Children's name" "In many Slavic clans, immediately after birth, the father showed the child to the sun, after which he gave a "child's name." Strictly speaking, it was not really a name, but rather, a nickname or nickname that was not named (to name means “to endow with Fate” (fate)), but was called (fixed (fixed) the existence) of the child. The fact is that our ancestors did not consider children to be people in the full sense of the word, since they did not yet possess intelligence. The manifestations of the animal, instinctive nature in the child allowed him to be considered as being in a certain transitional state from animal to human. His life depended entirely on his parents, under whose protection and complete guardianship he was. and who bore full responsibility for him. The name-nickname was precisely intended to either protect or endow the child with a certain quality or strength necessary for his further development. “Children’s name” was perceived as temporary, as a designation of a certain quality or as a way to scare away evil spirits, and nothing more. If the parents really wanted the birth of an heir, then they could call him “Zhdan”, and the third child “Tretyak”. A dark-haired baby became “Blackie,” who miraculously appeared to a childless couple - “Bogdan” (given by God), and a weak girl born prematurely, in order to deceive death, could be nicknamed “Mara” (death). Therefore, it never occurred to anyone to ask the child “what is your name?” Instead they said, “Whose family are you (from what family)?” The children belonged to Rod. Muchmore informative was the knowledge of whose son or daughter the child is. “Adult name” Not only among the Slavs, but among most peoples, receiving an “adult” name is the most important event in life, held upon reaching a certain age and turning a child into a full-fledged adult a member of society, endowed with his own destiny. The act of receiving a name, thus, marked a person’s entry into a new life, where the previous “children’s name” was not suitable for individual growth or socio-gender formation, and a new, “adult name” with a qualitatively different internal basis was needed. When the child turned 12 years old (this age varies among different nations), a new stage in life began for him, the starting point of which was the naming ceremony. As a rule, it took place near a river or lake, since it was believed that water helped to cleanse the body and soul, before rebirth, which occurs when receiving a new “adult (permanent) name” (in some traditions, the fire of a stove or fire was used for these purposes) . In addition, fire or water served to symbolically destroy or erase a temporary childhood nickname that had completed its task. An “adult name,” unlike a nickname, was no longer given by the parents, but by the Family (through the mediation of a priest, elder, or other knowledgeable person), but , therefore, did not carry within itself the wishes of an earthly father and mother to “grow big and healthy,” but allowed a person to fully enter society and solve the problems of a clan or nation. It was no longer a nickname, but a real human name: Borislav, Vratislav, Rodamysl, Svyatobor, Yaropolk, Veleslava, Druzhana, Jaromila, Svetozar, Dobroslav, Brave, Lyubomila, Golub, Zlatotsveta, etc. Therefore, the boy or girl who received it was already perceived as full-fledged representatives of the community, and, therefore, bore full responsibility for their actions and actions, as befits an adult who had his own destiny, his own destiny. We can say that receiving a name was tantamount to acquiring the status of a person in the full sense of the word." This was the case in the culture of not only Slavic (we emphasize again!), but also many other peoples. In some places this tradition is preserved to this day. For example , in China there are still children’s “milk” names, which with maturity replace permanent ones (like teeth!), and this custom has an important, deep basis. Therefore, a “children’s name” can be called “maternal”; its task is to provide for it. survival and growth of the child in the material world. Upon reaching adulthood, a person received the opportunity to realize his own potential (including spiritual!), having acquired an “adult name” that gave meaning and a path, freed him from the care of his mother and allowed him to live his own life. Therefore, it is necessary. there was a rejection of the childhood nickname, which was symbolically washed away or burned. Along with it, the person also rejected childhood patterns of behavior and ways of reacting, but not all the experiences that he received in childhood. After all, a temporary childhood nickname did not define his life, but provided it. But the “children’s name” did not completely disappear. After all, for example, “Tretyak” is just an external sign (third child in the family). These signs remained in the child’s fate, but they were not a sign that determined his fate, since the fate is determined by the “adult” name. In some traditional societies, the ritual of obtaining an “adult name” was quite brutal (to enhance the effect): the initiate was beaten half to death, in order to “knock the child’s name out of him,” ritual mutilations were inflicted, etc. This was necessary for transformation, adaptation, separation from childhood life, from attachment to the mother, from children's ways of reacting. Modern parents do not name children based on some external sign or wanting to deceive evil spirits. But even now, when a child receives a name, it takes place in compliance with a certain social ritual: entry in the civil registry book and recording in the birth certificate and other documents. But the most important difference todaytime - a name received at birth, and its bearer himself and everyone around him perceives it as a permanent name for a particular person, given once and for all (the possibility of changing it, of course, is allowed, but is not approved). What other beliefs are associated with the name? It was believed that the name could convey to the child the fate of a person who has the same name, so they avoided calling children names that were borne by familiar drunkards, crazy people, and seriously ill people. They avoided giving the name of a person who had just died, especially a suicide or drowned person, so that the child would not repeat his fate. In general, it was considered dangerous to give a child the name of a person already living in the same house, since one of the namesakes would “kill the other.” Two people belonging to the same Genus (especially those present nearby) are clearly too much. Modern experts who study the influence of gender on an individual also say that repeated names “launch” a “self-destruction program”; these are killer names. A special term has even been introduced for this mechanism - “sticking together” names. This term describes the presence of twin names on the family tree, whose bearers, in this case, become like one entity. “Adhesions” can be of two types: direct (the presence in the system of two or more namesakes) - for example - Ivan and Ivan - and archetypal (the presence in the system of names that are lexically different and differ in gender, but identical in the archetypal code) - for example - Oleg and Olga. In both cases, such “sticking together” representatives of the generic system pose a great threat to it, since they create conditions for the emergence of “self-liquidation programs.” The statement is controversial (difficult to prove), but also has a right to exist. Psychology of the name What do more traditionally oriented psychologists think about the name? E. Bern understands the name as a “message” that has a scenario meaning in four ways: - Purposefully. Touching on mysticism names, V.A. Nikonov, a specialist in the field of anthroponymy - the science of names, recalls in his book “Name and Society” a story by Jack London, where a woman names her sons by the name of her deceased brother, and all of them, one after another, are carried away by death. By giving a child a “specialized” name, for example, the name of a famous person, parents “program” his life, endow his self-concept with a system of expectations, and offer the child certain obligations. Indeed, a person can be called in different ways, and each type of name reflects the feelings experienced by a communication partner. Of particular importance is the fact when a child is called by the name of his father, grandfather, mother, grandmother, etc., since giving a child a name relative (living or deceased) determines not only the system of expectations from his behavior and development, but also the “connection” of the child with this relative, because gives this relative the role of a significant adult. When a child is named after a relative, their features are mythologically transferred to him so that he will be like them. Whether he copes with this role or not is also a factor that shapes the child’s attitude towards the name. If you bear the name of one of your distant ancestors. If a name comes up again in a family, it means that the one who bore it was a bright personality whose fate left its mark on the history of the family. Find out more about this person.If you have a grandparent's name. In this case, dad and mom must have been closely related to their own parents. This attachment motivated them to maintain this connection through their child - through you. This often happens, for example, if in childhood your parents lacked warmth and affection and their father and mother did not have much contact with them or, on the contrary, were too protective and suppressed them. If you have the name your father or mother. If one of your parents wanted to give you their name, perhaps they saw in you a symbolic opportunity to be “born again.” This often happens if his own birth was not very desirable, and his relationship with his parents was difficult. If you are wearinguncle or aunt's name. This indicates a strong attachment of one of the parents to the brother or sister. Maybe their connection was interrupted early or the feelings turned out to be very strong. If your name is associated with the hobby of one of the parents. When a child is named after a favorite actor, musician, athlete, etc., sometimes this is due to an unrealized vocation or an unfulfilled dream of the parents. And it can strengthen the attachment to the child bearing this name. - By misfortune. As E. Bern writes, some parents, when calling a child a “beautiful” name, “do not always think about the future of their children.” Many still laugh at stories about unlucky parents who gave their children names like Vosmart (Eighth of March), Vilor ( an acronym for the expression “Vladimir Ilyich Lenin Organizer of the Revolution”) or Dazdraperma (short for “Long live the First of May!”). Not so long ago there was a report in the newspapers that some enthusiastic fans of Dima Bilan named their child Dibil. I sincerely hope that this is just an April Fool's joke, otherwise you won't envy the poor child. Psychiatrists from the USA conducted a study and found that people with funny and strange names are 4 times more predisposed to various kinds of mental complexes than others. And a child with a name that causes ridicule has been in a defensive position since childhood, which forms certain traits of his character (the author knows this for sure from personal example!). Indeed, “exotic” names cannot always be a source of pride, admiration for a child, because they force him to “stand out” from the environment, without, however, giving him the opportunity to be assigned to some “nominal” group. This is true both for children with names unusual for a given culture (we mean national names), and for children whose names are associated with some temporary events. For example, now that the “first children” of the series that appeared on TV screens in the late 80s of the 20th century are growing up, this problem is becoming especially relevant. On the one hand, names such as Isaura, Marisol, Ana Maria, Diego, Arnold, Luis give children the opportunity to be different from others, but, on the other hand, they exacerbate the child’s conflict with the group. Thus, many Natasha, Len, Katya, Sash, Dim, Pet are in this case in a more “advantageous” position: they bear “their” name, but also have in their circle one or more “namesakes” on whom they have the opportunity to be similar and with whom there is a chance to unite if necessary. It turns out that the “absentee” separation of a child from his peers by parents through a name deprives him of the opportunity, having experienced a sense of belonging, to achieve autonomy himself, to prove his originality through a name in which there are both similarities and differences. - Because of negligence or frivolity. E. Bern here means the fact that “affectionate nicknames” (“baby”, “sunshine”, “paw”, “kitty”, etc.), given by parents in childhood, remain so for life regardless from a person’s desire, or they are so integrated into the image of the Self, into the structure of the Self-concept that sometimes they turn out to be more significant for a person than their own name, which remains “alien”, “official”, “unacceptable” for him. In adolescence, “lapulya”, “sun” and other affectionate “names” become a subject of rebellion for a teenager, since they do not fit with the “image of me as an adult”. The problem is that these affectionate “names” are alien to the teenager, but other names that would be perceived by him as his own, unfortunately, are not included in the structure of his self-concept. Let us also note that the predominant naming of children in the family by their role signs, i.e. “son” (son, son, sonny) or “daughter” (daughter, daughter, daughter), and not names, is important during the period of separation of a teenager from his parents, since he obviously defines them not as separate, independent individuals, but as people, playing the role of “son” or “daughter.” - Because of inevitability. As E. Bern writes, when choosing a surname, parents do not have the freedom of choice themselves and pass it on to their children. Attitude tosurnames are broadcast as a family tradition, however, there are a number of other factors that influence a child’s perception of his surname. First, there is the celebrity factor: the attitude towards a surname is dictated by the attitude towards famous people who bear the same surname. Secondly, the prevalence or unusualness of the surname has an influence. Thirdly, the “meaning” of the surname, its euphony or “indecency” (Chlenov, for example) is important. And, finally, the attitude towards the surname may be determined by the attitude towards the culture, ethnic group, to which the surname belongs. Conclusion: The attitude towards the name is formed in the process of growing up. Significant people have a great influence on a child’s attitude towards a name: parents, teachers, peers, brothers and sisters, and other family members. In a social circle, a person hears different addresses to himself: these are both affectionate and “pulling”, children’s names and tender nicknames, complex phrases and nicknames that evaluate the individual properties of a child or devalue him. Names inevitably undergo many changes, but they are one way or another otherwise, they manifest themselves in life. The name can sound like a request or an order, a reproach or approval, a slap in the face or a caress. Attitude towards a name is an indicator of attitude towards oneself. A psychologist can help a person (especially a child!) accept and love his name (and therefore accept and love himself!). Let's look at how this is done... Options for working with a name in various areas of psychotherapy: Option 1. Family therapy (and not only ) “My name” technique. Purpose: updating childhood memories, determining the attitude towards one’s own name, exploring personal identity, realizing one’s own uniqueness. Progress of work: Participants are asked to talk in a circle about their name, paying attention to whether they know the history of the name, his ethnic origin, who decided to name the child that way, what the brightest event in life is associated with the name, whether they changed it and, if so, how it affected their life and self-perception, etc. You can mention the generally accepted meaning of the name, myths, legends associated with the name (if the participants know them). Questions for discussion: • Who chose your name? How was it chosen? Who were you named after?• Do you love your name? Does it help or hinder your life? What would you like to be called? Etc. etc. When working with family history, they also work with a genogram and genosociogram: they look for coincidences of names, track the fate of ancestors, bearers of the name, identify the influence of the name on a person’s life. In addition, it is possible to work with the surname. For example, the “My Last Name” technique. The sergeant major gets acquainted with the recruits: - What is your last name, private? - Orlov! - Well done, you will fly like an eagle! - And yours? - Generalov! - Well done! You will become a general! - And yours? - Kozlov... - Well, nothing, nothing... (anecdote) The surname is the most important factor in our destiny, because it is the source of the very first social identification. Initially, surnames were associated with the name of the area, natural objects, physical features, occupations, and character traits of the ancestors. If a surname is easy to pronounce and its origin is transparent, these two circumstances simplify our social adaptation. Conversely, if the surname is difficult to pronounce or it is dissonant, very short or very long, we may feel inconvenienced. The surname influences the way people around us perceive us. For example, if you need to choose a doctor, you are unlikely to be inspired by going to a person named Konovalov or Myasnikov (we emphasize - if you don’t know these people!). A person subconsciously likes someone whose last name carries a positive charge. Progress of work: By dividing the surname into separate syllables, we can discover their combinations that will be significant for us. Listening to the sound of names and surnames, we can hear other words (name of a place, profession, object...) that could become part of our personal history. A good exercise is to say out loud the first and last names of your ancestors many times. Mark the different ones you hearmeanings. Option 2. Art therapy Technique “Drawing of a name” (or “Image of a name”) (Classical exercises that are described in numerous literature on art therapy) Your name is a bird in your hand, Your name is a piece of ice on your tongue. One single movement lips. Your name is five letters. A ball caught on the fly, A silver bell in your mouth. A stone thrown into a quiet pond, It will sob as you are called. In the light clicking of hooves, Your loud name thunders... (M. Tsvetaeva) Necessary materials: paper , watercolor, gouache, pastel, charcoal, pencils, felt-tip pens, brushes, etc. Work progress: 1. Before the main part, there may be a “warm-up”: - Write your name in small letters in the air with your right and left hands in turn, and then with both hands at the same time. - Write your name in the air from left to right and right to left in block and capital letters of different sizes. Think about whether the image of the name has changed, what feelings this evokes? - Take an imaginary wide brush in your hand, imagine a bucket of oil paint (what color is it?). Write your name, taking up as much space as possible, from floor to ceiling. - Close your eyes and imagine the most pleasant image of your name that has arisen, make another imaginary drawing in space. Try to remember this image, color, size of letters, sound and other features.2. On a piece of paper, the participant (child or adult) writes a list of options for his name. Then from this list you select the one you would like to draw.3. Using any visual media (pencils, crayons, pastels, gouache, etc.), draw your own name on paper. This can be a concrete or abstract drawing. This work can also be done using the collage technique. 4. Write down the colors and images used and come up with and write down associations for them.5. Write your name vertically on a piece of paper and write at least three associations opposite each letter of the name.6. Discussion of the drawing and associative series. Technique “Working with an unloved name or nickname” What is in my name for you? Work progress: 1. The participant is asked to visualize a name (variant of the name) that evokes negative emotions, is not accepted by him, does not like him, and depict it abstractly using color, shape, line. It is important to avoid recognizable images, pictograms, and cliche symbols. The drawing should reflect a spontaneous reaction to the name.2. Next, the previous instructions are repeated with the difference that you need to imagine and draw a name that always evokes positive emotions and is liked.3. The third picture is your own name.4. Discussion of drawings and associative series. Questions for discussion: - What is in the first drawing and set of associations? - What is in the second drawing and set of associations? - What would the author of the drawings like to “take” from the first set of qualities? - What would you like to get rid of? (second picture)? What's stopping you? etc. Collage “Great people who bore my name” Necessary materials, paper (AZ format), magazines, photographs, scissors, glue and visual materials. Progress of work 1. On a piece of paper, make a list of significant people who bear your name (including ancestors).2. Using photographs (photocopies) and magazines, create a collage. Your own photograph can become the center of the collage. Selecting magazine clippings and photocopies of photographs can be homework.3. For the collage, come up with or select ready-made poems, aphorisms, stories, ditties, etc.4. Discussion: For teenagers, the following homework will be of interest: take photographs of different people (of different ages, different professions, etc.) who have the same name as yours. From the photographs, create an album “So different... (your name).” You can also make an extended list of name options for the album by asking people who agreed to be photographed about it. Technique “Music of a Name” Required materials: a set of musical instruments (noise, folk or any other), a collection of audio recordings. Work progress: 1. Ask participants, using musical instruments, to play the music of the name, track how the name sounds on different instruments, etc.2. Using musicalinstruments, the whole group improvises in turn on the theme of the name of each group member.3. From a collection of audio recordings, select a piece of music that characterizes the name.4. Discussion of each stage of the task. “Dance of the Name” technique. Materials needed: tape recorder, audio recordings. Progress of work: 1. Come up with and show a dance in your name.2. In pairs, each of the pair “dances” the name of his partner.3. The group dances in turn the names of all participants.4. Discussion of each stage of the task. Group composition on the theme “Person’s name”Required materials. 4 Whatman paper taped together (or 4 sheets of wallpaper), visual materials, colored paper and cardboard, foil, magazines, scissors, glue, photocopies of photographs of participants, etc. Progress of work 1. A glued Whatman paper is placed on the floor in the center of the room. The task of the group members: using the proposed materials, create a group composition on the topic “Person’s name.”2. Come up with and read ditties, poems, aphorisms, jokes (black humor is welcome!) on the topic of composition. Everyone's participation is important.3. Discussion. Technique “Name Song” Work progress: 1. It is necessary to sing different variations of the name.2. Discussion. Technique “Name encryption” (“Code name”) Work progress: 1. From the letters of the name, add up other names.2. Choose your favorite. It is defined as a secret name, a protector name.3. Discussion. Technique “Name-amulet” Work progress: 1. Come up with names similar to Indian ones. Your name should reflect some important trait about you. For example, “He who knows.”2. Introduce yourself to the group, adding some characteristic movement to your name. The group must repeat the name and movement.3. Discussion.As part of the “Name-amulet” technique, you can also make a personalized doll-amulet. Remember, Vasilisa from the fairy tale of the same name had one like this? The kind mother, dying, strictly ordered her to feed and drink and to obey in everything. Participants take the dolls with them (to avoid the development of paranoia about the subsequent sticking of needles into tender parts of the body (see above - “voodoo magic”)). Option 3. Psychosynthesis. How the world is changing! And how I myself am changing! I am called by only one name In fact, what is called me is not me alone. There are many of us. I am alive, So that my blood did not have time to cool, I died more than once. Oh, how many dead bodies I separated from my own body! (Nikolai Zabolotsky “Metamorphoses” )Technique “Working with subpersonalities” (exercise taken from the website “Irina Shevtsova’s Training School”) Purpose: Explore the variants of one’s own name, the attitude towards them. Consider the subpersonalities activated by different variants of the name, promote their acceptance. Required materials: each participant will need a pen and paper for notes. Progress of work: 1. Presenter: The most harmful illusion is the perception of oneself as whole (Gestaltists and Jungian analysts would argue!) and indivisible. This is what psychosynthesis teaches. The more subpersonalities are understood and accepted, the higher a person’s social adaptation. Learning to be different means recognizing your versatility. And it is no coincidence that every human name has many variations. This is what we will build on in our research. Our name, how we pronounce it, how others, close or strangers, pronounce it, affects how we feel. ... Surely, each of you has a name that you allow yourself to be called by a very narrow circle of people close and dear to you. On the other hand, there is a name that is, as it were, “official”, “on duty”, which exists regardless of the situation, mood, role. Now introduce yourself by the name that is closer to your current state, mood... the name that you would like to be called here. … Listen to your name. ...What does it sound like to you? Affectionately? ... "Discouraging"? ...Neutral? ..."2. Discussion.3. Remember the names you were called as a child. Who gave you these names, in what circumstances were you called by this or that name?• What nicknames or pet names do you have now? How did you get them? What areas of life do they affect?• If you are married and - 2002 .