From the author: You can find this and other articles on my website My specialization is evolutionary coaching. Solving deep-seated personal issues, change management, overcoming the crisis. You can subscribe on the website. And new articles will come to you automatically. Not often, once a week :) We build our own lives. And, as a rule, the world simply responds to our requests. However, none of us plans for the illness of children, car accidents, or the death of loved ones. Therefore, troubles always happen unexpectedly and often roll in like a snowball. “2 o’clock in the morning. The child has severe abdominal pain. We need to call an ambulance...” “There was an accident. My husband was hurt. I just found out about this...” “I got very sick, I can’t even lift my head. My 12-year-old son got sick with me. He has severe vomiting and severe abdominal pain. There is no one to help him except me...” And it happens that all of the above happens simultaneously with the same person: (As it happens: We resist with all our might or try to ignore the aggressive influence of the world. 1) “We close our eyes,” in hope, that this time it will pass and everything is not so serious. "No! This can't be true! Not with me! Not now!” 2) We explode with aggression when it is no longer possible to ignore the situation. We are angry at the whole wide world “It was still good. No, it was necessary...!”3) We begin to look for those to blame. Child, doctors, school, husband, state, “this damned life”, ourselves. (Underline as necessary) 4) And we are drawn into the struggle “for the child”, “for the husband”, “for truth and justice, so that at least after us ....”And instead of solving problems, we spend all our strength fighting windmills (health care system, school, traffic police, etc.) And since our forces are unequal, very soon we become weak, feeling completely helpless, apathy and self-pity. Not to mention the fact that the problem could have been solved much more effectively. So what to do? 1) Determine for yourself when you begin to act. “I’ll call the doctor if the child’s temperature persists for the second day...” “I’ll call the technician if my husband can’t cope with the breakdown in the evening...” 2) Calmly and deliberately get involved in solving the problem. By panicking, we can cause much more harm than the situation itself. Remember, there are people around, and no one wants to harm you. Be polite! If the ambulance arrived after 40 minutes, then perhaps there were traffic jams, a shift change, an accident, and not “the driver is a freak, and the doctors are all morons” 3) Be persistent. Don’t wait for the weather to come from the sea, don’t be afraid to look “somehow different.” You can not know something, while remaining an intelligent, educated person. “How can we call a doctor ourselves?” “It’s important for me to know how you plan to treat my child.” “What should we do in this situation?” “What are the options? “How important is this procedure?” 4) Seek help. The ability to delegate responsibility is a great thing! It is clear that everyone has their own things to do and you don’t want to strain anyone once again, but the speed and efficiency of your way out of an acute life situation depends on your ability to distribute responsibility and correctly involve friends and loved ones. You shouldn’t pretend to be a hero (heroine), firmly believing that you can handle everything yourself. Now is not the time to prove something to someone, think about efficiency, not about showing off. 5) Rest, don’t push yourself. War is war - lunch is lunch. You need to eat and sleep. Your goal is not to be canonized, but to effectively solve the problem. And this requires strength and a clear mind. 6) Have specialists on hand. These are the people you trust and from whom you can quickly receive professional help. If there is a personal coach on this list between a homeopath and a chiropractor, you can only be envious. 7) Analyze and keep “notes of a madman.” David-Servan Schreiber is a professor of clinical psychiatry, founder and director of the Center for!