Sooner or later, we all think about the topic: “What kind of person am I?” “What kind of friend am I?” “What kind of mother am I?” “What kind of daughter am I?” “What kind of wife am I?” And today I would like to reflect on a professional topic. Since the main layer of my work is entirely related to people, I simply cannot help but reflect on this topic. In addition to professional skills, performance, professional development, training, work with a supervisor, personal therapy, there are also criteria for feedback from clients , their effectiveness, their changes, which, of course, also shows the effectiveness of our work. And in one of the courses on working with social networks, there was a task of the following nature: “Describe what qualities of yours are manifested in interaction with a client.” After completing this task I looked at what was written, my eyes widened, and my brain panicked. The red alarm button with the inscription “ATTENTION” lit up and the brain began to look for an opportunity to connect 2 opposite states: A teacher with a pointer in glasses, who strictly monitors compliance with the rules, steps, evaluates performance on the other hand 2. A kind, soft, enveloping woman in white fluffy and a voluminous sweater, understanding, comforting and wise. We analyzed the results of this assignment during the course; this topic was also touched upon for several months in personal therapy. And yet, dissonance and a vivid internal conflict of my subpersonalities could be traced. And when I was still in my 3rd year at university, we drew “If I were... a plant.” Do you know what I had? Everyone drew flowers, trees, vases, cacti. But I had 2 drawings of plants: the first drawing was a white delicate lily of the valley in the forest, and the second was a huge scarlet Venus flytrap in the jungle. Should I repeat about the conflict? Then the theme of parent-child relationships, a good girl, separation from mom and growing up was vividly highlighted. Fortunately, two years of personal therapy were devoted specifically to working through these topics. Therefore, knowing the inside out of this process and the steps, effective tools, I manage to help clients: - stop being comfortable, - allow yourself to be yourself, - show up, - stop being annoyed with your parents, - stop looking for approval from others, - make decisions based on yourself , - build flexible personal boundaries, - reduce anxiety and the intensity of fears. Let's return to the topic of two states. Then the realization came that they both help regulate the therapy process. The teacher helps to maintain the boundaries of therapy, follow the structure without being scattered on topics that are not the material for study, monitor performance, plan a session and carry out consistent interventions justified by the situation (interventions - actions aimed at changes in person). A soft woman in a sweater helps to show attentiveness, empathy, knows how to listen, support, gently guide, sometimes stay in a parental position to give the client what he needs, carefully envelops him in warmth. This side helps to build a warm, supportive relationship with the client. Both of these states help to establish a stable psychotherapeutic alliance - cooperation between the client and the psychotherapist on the path of changes in the first, achieving the goals of therapy. And if you also experience such a fusion of opposites, this is normal. Thank each of them parts, because each individually performs a special function that helps to function as a whole. Yes, you can regulate them, choose their intensity, distribute them in the process, who is responsible for what. However, you should not cut, deform or discard them, because they yours. It’s the same as asking: “Which ear are you willing to part with: the right one or the left one?” It's like cutting off a part of yourself. It’s painful and useless. You are ALREADY whole and complete. Sometimes it’s not easy to admit this, apply it in life, start acting out of acceptance and not out of struggle. I can introduce you to this important skill of acceptance: part of the teacher is able to teach steps and techniques, and part of the caring parent is able to give acceptance from the outside, thanks to +7(987)541-27-85.