The process of self-blame is possible by dividing yourself into bad and good. The prosecution side and the guilty party. What to do in such a situation? Those firmly in the prosecution’s position will say that you just need to stop making mistakes, or at least make fewer mistakes and not, in the opinion of the prosecution, seriously. But it’s impossible to always do everything correctly, as it should, so that everyone likes it. What remains? The gaze is directed towards the accusation. The prosecutor begins to bite his lips nervously: “But, but, but I’m here for a reason! You need my accusations!!!”And here is the fork in the road - which path to take. You can blame the accuser. And then the third part of yourself will appear - the accuser of the accuser. That is, there will already be two bad parts of yourself - the guilty one and the accuser. This is how we will not resolve the issue - before we blamed ourselves for mistakes and blunders, now we blame ourselves for mistakes and blunders, and plus the fact that we blame ourselves for it. In general, it seems that this is a dead-end direction; it does not solve the issue of guilt. It is also clear that it is useless to justify one’s guilty side. Because then the prosecution will be wrong and will need to be blamed for it. You can also admit that the accuser... is right. At least he was right when he started blaming. That is, I was right when I beat myself with guilt. That is, the accuser is just as right as the “guilty one.” The “guilty one” is right, because it is impossible to do everything perfectly and never make mistakes, because the quality of our actions is dictated by our capabilities (at that time intelligence, knowledge and skills). Therefore, the “guilty” did everything that he was capable of at that moment - he did the right thing due to his development. What then is the accuser right about? But this is rather an individual question. You can find something common, but there may also be individual reasons why an accuser once appeared inside me and began to gnaw at me with a feeling of guilt. Try to remember when and why your inner accuser appeared? Most importantly, why did you need it? So you will find out what your accuser is right about. This way, inside you, all sides will become right, and you will be able to get out from under the internal assessment of bad or good, you will be able to see the halftones. Examples. The child may notice that the more he feels guilty and demonstrates this, the weaker the punishment from his parents, or even they may not be punished at all. The internal accuser was formed in order to avoid external punishment. At that time, the appearance of such an internal accuser was justified. Another child could have done something that made him feel very bad (either himself or in the eyes of his parents he would see himself as such). And no one seemed to punish me, but I don’t want to relive this feeling of being bad again. How to insure yourself against repetitions? I need to get a watchdog that will bark at me when I do something wrong. Even for the smallest mistakes. Because small mistakes, if not noticed, can lead to a big mistake and to a repeated big experience of your badness. And yet, when everything seems to be fine, this watchdog (sorry, internal accuser) still barks at me for what I did in the past. So he reminds me that I can make mistakes, this should help me stay collected, not relax, and therefore a big mistake will not be made. And it turns out that such an accuser - a watchdog - also appeared in due time for a reason, I saw a need for him, and I needed him, he was right in his actions. And what to do if everyone is right? At a minimum, this reduces the tension. The “guilty person” is tense because he is accused, and he strives to do everything perfectly and correctly. The accuser is tense because of the fear that his accusations will turn out to be wrong, they will be found wrong, and then the accuser will turn into the “guilty one.” Therefore, the accuser is very tense, he tries to make high-quality accusations, looks for arguments, and puts all his strength and energy into his “work.” Well, if everyone is right, it’s already somehow relaxing. Therefore, how.