From the author: Do we want to be understood? Yes, yes and yes again!!:) How to speak so that the interlocutor hears and understands us Balakhonskaya G.V. Audio version of the article here https://www.b17.ru/media/50466/ Surely many are familiar with the ironic expression “they said” like a blind man with a deaf man." This means that the interlocutors not only don’t understand each other, but it’s as if they don’t even hear each other. At the same time, both interlocutors seem to speak Russian.) What could be the reason for this? I’ll say right away that there may be more than one reason (and I’ve written about this more than once - for example, in the article “What does it mean to “speak the same language” https://www.b17.ru/article/83768/), but I Now I would like to examine this aspect. That all people are different, I think it’s clear. They are different according to very different criteria. Now I’m going to emphasize that we (in addition to all our differences and differences) can also have different leaders. channels of perception of oneself and the world. What do I mean? I mean that people are divided, relatively speaking, into those who perceive the reality around us and information about it mainly visually (that is, using visual images, pictures), auditorily ( through sounds) and kinesthetically - that is, by sensations (smells, taste, touch). Of course, the separation is quite conditional. There is also a seemingly detached perception - when a person behaves almost like a robot who does not have feelings. in general, anything can happen) This topic, as usual, is capacious; it cannot be described in a few words.) So here I will only briefly outline it. And if necessary, I will continue. Well, whatever happens.) I’ll try it like this. Using examples. Let’s imagine that a person with a predominantly visual orientation will describe good weather. He will get, for example, the following: “The sun was shining brightly. White clouds floated across the blue sky. The greenery of the trees was pleasing to the eye. The yard was strewn with pink, orange, yellow flowers, which everyone who came in and looked at this beauty with all their eyes admired. “That is, there are images, pictures, views. And this can be seen. A person with predominantly auditory perception can already tell about the same weather, for example, like this: “The day was quiet in the morning. The leaves on the trees rustled only slightly and the birds chirped. And sometimes the children walking in the yard laughed loudly. And as if someone whispered in his ear: “How good this summer bell sounds!” “That is, here the main source of information about the environment is sounds. You can hear them. And now how can a person with predominantly sensory perceptions talk about good weather: “The day was moderately warm, but a little stuffy. So I even wanted a refreshing rain to fall. So that the air would smell deliciously of wet leaves and the aromas of summer. And so that you could splash your bare feet through the puddles, feeling the pleasant coolness on your skin.”Here the main source of information perception is tactile sensations, smell and taste) It seems that all the descriptions are about the same good summer weather, but how different! What’s the difference? In words! All the words are Russian, but at the same time - you will be surprised - the interlocutors often cannot understand each other and agree. Because the words we perceive and hear are those with which our inner world is “recorded”. And which we use to describe our reality. But we don’t hear or perceive strangers. We have a filter for what is alien. And yours is familiar and familiar. After all, each of us has at least a little bit of our own reality. Because no two people are identical. And, accordingly, the experience of each one is at least a little different from the experience of the other. It’s also good if it’s a little bit, but in practice it happens that it’s very strong)) The more the words we use coincide we use words used by another, the more points of intersection we have in our experience. And, of course, the easiest way is for a visual student to find a common language with a visual student, a kinesthetic student with a kinesthetic student, and an auditory student with an auditory student. And at the same time, we always remember that there are no complete coincidences! And if there are a lot of coincidences, then you can say you’re lucky:)