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The breakup of a relationship and the departure of a loved one is a strong stress, an unexpected event (even if it has been discussed many times), which significantly affects the human psyche. Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her The book “On Death and Dying” describes the five stages of grief, which extend not only to the loss associated with the death of a loved one. A person can experience such emotional distress when coming into contact with other life problems, for example, the loss of a loved one associated with a breakup. According to the author, the stages represent a completely normal and natural “set” of feelings that a person experiences when dealing with serious changes in life. 5 stages of grief: Shock, accompanied by thoughts that this cannot be or a lack of belief in it. Acts as a defense mechanism that gives us time to process unpleasant news and usually does not last long. Denial: “I can’t accept this.” At this stage, the search for those to blame usually begins. As a result, the person is either very upset or irritated, sometimes even hot-tempered. You can direct your anger at yourself, at others, or at life in general. Bargaining: “If I hadn’t done it then, she/he wouldn’t have left.” Such reflections on the past are a kind of attempt to change it, to find a way out of the situation, an attempt to come to an agreement with reality, God, life. Grieving (depression) is a stage at which a person tends to experience fear, regret, guilt and other difficult-to-bear emotions. However, his external manifestations are more likely to speak of his indifference, isolation, lack of any interest in life in general. Acceptance (adaptation to life without this person). This is a kind of realization that resistance to what happened will not change the situation and we must live on without this person. In the process of grief, these stages can replace each other, getting stuck on one of them can occur, and a “rollback” to previous stages can occur until until the person fully experiences what happened. How to help yourself in this situation: allow yourself to feel all the feelings: cry, get angry or continue to love this person; take care of yourself physically: take a walk, take a shower to relax, allow yourself to sleep longer than usual and not forget about the need to eat; try to spend more time with friends or with people who are on your side in the story, with those who support you; when you are alone, do breathing exercises to help you calm down. Research the reasons why this happened and how to live better from now on postpone it for a while or spend it not alone, but together with a psychologist. This model of grief helps you understand your emotional reaction to difficult changes. And when we know what is happening to us, then, as a rule, it becomes easier to cope with the problem. Change is an integral part of life and no matter how bad and difficult it is now, we need to understand that it will definitely pass, because it’s not for nothing that they say that time heals and life goes on. The careful accompaniment of a psychologist can help you live through the natural stages of grief associated with a breakup. I invite you to a WhatsApp consultation +7 (915) 445-87-07

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