From the author: About how to remain alive and whole, despite the standards of society and negative obstacles in life. “Every person”, “every individual” is an integral world in which body and soul coexist , mind and feelings. Despite the fact that this integrity seems quite natural, distortions periodically occur. Sometimes the mind takes everything under its “rational control”. At other times, feelings (love, anger, pain) take over. And sometimes bodily sensations (illness, hormonal changes) come to the fore and drown out everything else. This is neither good nor bad, it just happens. And if a person is not bothered by such fluctuations and changes, then perhaps no problem exists. But if some distortions seem absurd, illogical, and, moreover, interfere with normal natural existence, then the only way is to seek balance. Certain negative experiences, trials, difficulties , grievances, unclear situations disrupt the natural path of human development, growth, and movement. The tree bends its trunk, bending around obstacles, but continues to strive upward. A person is often stopped by difficult circumstances, losses and illnesses. Feeling the pain of betrayal or rejection, people cannot continue the relationship. After difficult experiences, something breaks inside, and feelings “froze” and atrophy. A tree (like all living things) does not stop its growth, but looks for ways to a source of light and water in the ground. Despite the obstacles, the search for resources that support life continues. The tree does not say: “This fence or stone betrayed me, I will forever wait for it to apologize and get out of my way.” The tree is simply looking for a new path. “I fell in love with psychology when I was 15 years old. Then it seemed to me that only in this area can one be holistic, not hide one’s feelings, be spontaneous and alive. Then I found “my” world in which I wanted to live, be and work. But even despite my obvious craving for this profession, or life in a “psychological environment”, I still managed to “get burned” somewhere and go through rationality, choose the path of a financier and a purposeful woman with ambitious plans for the future." Now this choice seems completely illogical to me. In my work, I meet people who, like a tree, have faced insurmountable obstacles in their difficult lives. Some of them These people live by logic and undeniable beliefs about how the world around them should be. Some of them can no longer feel the whole gamut of feelings, because before they were too often hurt and hard. And almost every one of them dreams of balance and harmony in life. the soul, about integrity. Each of us is “twisted” in some way, otherwise we would not strive so desperately to be “normal”, to correspond to some model or standard, to be of a certain shape or size, to correspond to a status or social role. One way or another we are. we feel that we do not meet the standard. Because the standard is a weighted average of a non-existent value that can be calculated mathematically, but cannot be found in reality. It is impossible to conform to the norm and standard, but we continue to feel our “wrongness” and experience a nagging feeling of “loneliness in the crowd” among the same non-standard people. Perhaps, if you don’t look closely, all the trees in the forest will seem the same, straight, tall and strong, but each tree has its own unique bend, appearance, size, smell. It’s good that a tree doesn’t know any standards. We (people) use tricks, constantly trying to change something in ourselves or in others, trying to straighten or break the curvature, hide shortcomings, give up individuality. These attempts only make you more isolated and disappointed (in the world, in friends, in life). By fencing ourselves off from the world, we deprive ourselves of the opportunity to receive the resources necessary for a full existence: communication, intimacy, love. We deprive ourselves of the opportunity to be heard, understood, accepted, loved. This path leads to loneliness,.