Close contact with Others is impossible without close contact with Yourself. How to perceive the feelings of another person if there is no connection with your feelings? How to be vulnerable, open and sincere if you don’t have your own right to sincerity, to “be yourself”? What does it even mean to “be yourself”? Often this expression is interpreted incorrectly, saying: “Being yourself means what you wanted, you said? What you wanted, you did? Got angry - yelled or hit you in the face, tired of communication - said: “I’m tired” and went into the fog?” Of course not. It seems to me that to be YOURSELF is often to be WITH YOURSELF. Just in that very CONTACT with myself: in understanding what I am experiencing now, how communication with a specific person affects my well-being, what I want now and what I can do about it. To be with yourself is to understand that any emotions and feelings are normal, that this is our reaction, a response to what is happening in the external or internal world, and we need them in order to navigate what is happening and in the best way to take care of ourselves and my preservation as an individual. Knowing this, I allow myself to be angry if someone violates my boundaries, to be sad if something important is lost, to be happy if something very pleasant happens and to remain neutral, calm, if what happens , doesn’t raise any feelings in me (yes, even if everyone around is laughing or crying). It’s a little easier to remain yourself when you’re alone with yourself (although, if you don’t have your own right to different feelings, if an incomprehensible, indistinguishable “simply bad” lives inside) It’s difficult to be one on one with this, you want to quickly binge on food or a clip on TikTok, chat with a phone call, clean up along with washing the floors and shaking up the dust). But as soon as a person gets into the environment of others, remaining oneself [with oneself] becomes extremely It’s difficult: from all sides you can hear “don’t be sad”, “why are you so sad”, “don’t be angry”, “don’t be a wuss”, “be patient”, “smile”. I remember once they asked me if I accidentally abused anything psychoactive, since I walked around joyless and often with swollen eyes (at that moment I was experiencing a very strong loss, which only those closest to me knew about). So try to be yourself! In reality, if the person next to you says “smile,” perhaps he is not very at peace with his sadness, does not allow himself to be sad, does not allow himself to be himself - and he does not allow you either. Or he simply doesn’t know how to help, and it’s easier for him to not notice the sadness: “smile, come on!” Often mothers, without appropriating their right to be angry, forbid their children to be angry (“don’t shout, I won’t listen to it, go yell into another room"), thereby closing the natural outlets for emotions, without teaching how to cope with anger in any other way than to hide and suppress it. And they continue the chain of non-acceptance of themselves. What to do? Give yourself the right to be sad, angry, anxious, not want society or not want loneliness, rejoice noisily or smile quietly, be tired or over-energetic. 🌿Understand what this condition is about, where this feeling comes from, what it is telling you now. 🌿Know ways of effective self-help and self-support: don’t suppress, get distracted, eat or chat - but do something that will help you live this feeling and ensure the most pleasant self-preservation. And then - oh, miracle - other people will not frighten you by presenting their strong feelings ( anger, sadness, anxiety, passion). And then you will be able not to avoid them, but to meet with them and, for example, discuss: “what is happening between us now?” And there it’s not far from real intimacy: after all, why play a performance in front of a loved one and present him with protective masks, if you can remain yourself in front of him.