Teenagers in our yard, day after day, habitually hang out at the entrances, drinking cola, or even beer, quietly smoking and joking around. No one is in a hurry to go home, except for one young lady. And when asked why she is always in such a hurry to get home, the girl replies: “I don’t want to go for a walk, it’s much more interesting with my parents.” Why does this situation arouse distrust due to its atypicality? During the prepubertal period, on the threshold of adulthood, children are no longer as dependent on adults as at an earlier age. Age-related changes in a teenager’s body occur during the incomplete period of personality formation. These are serious psychological and physiological stresses. Parents, feeling the need to help their child overcome them, are not always ready for this. The mistake, although it comes in different forms, is, in essence, always the same: they are in a hurry to educate without trying to support. The main parental concerns: “Am I doing everything right? » After numerous admonitions about unfinished lessons and scattered things, yesterday’s kids, and today teenagers, are in no hurry to listen, and often contradict adults. Communication is noticeably deteriorating. Grown-up children react sharply to educational moments and withdraw more and more into themselves. A child and an adult, like communicating vessels, convey uncertainty and anxiety to each other, which leads to disharmony in relationships. A calm reaction on the part of parents to all extraordinary manifestations of this age is, in general, hardly possible. For objective reasons, the nervous system of an adult can fail quite justifiably. It is increasingly difficult to avoid conflict situations, and compromises do not yield results. This is why doubts arise about the lack of rigor or, conversely, about its excess. There is a wonderful story in which the souls of children are compared to reeds singing in the wind to remind us how fragile the souls of ten and eleven year old human beings can be. For true parents this is obvious. The stronger the desire and hope to finally gain understanding and become closer! Without expecting obvious steps forward from older children, take it on faith that children also want you to move in their direction... Vera is 11 years old, and she is rude to her mother in response to any trifling request. Left alone, I ask, “Why are you yelling at mom? After all, she does EVERYTHING for you.” The answer is astonishing: “How do you know this? She never said that she cared about me or that she loved me.” Yes! That's it, dear parents! Our children want confirmation of their parents' tender feelings: words about how much they mean to us; They look forward to going on trips together, discussing movies and games; your opinion about their peers and a simple friendly pat on the shoulder are important to them as a sign that their world is not indifferent, but interesting to the closest people in the world. Don't beat yourself up for not having enough time - it's not your fault. The realities of modern life are such that many simply cannot afford to relax. And yet it is necessary to take time away from everyday life for proper rest and spend it with your children. The moment when you recognize that communication with your son or daughter is not stressful, but gives joy and energizes you, will become the starting point for the normalization of your relationship. Like everything that exists on this earth, your connection with your child is determined by patience and love... The guarantee of its strength is inversely proportional to the strength of this love, not reckless, but restrained and wise. Only in this way will the little man born by you be able to grow into an adult, capable, like his parents, of one day giving love.© Emilia Beskrovnaya