From the author: sexologist-psychotherapist, family psychologist. expert on television programs, member of the professional psychotherapeutic league, master of NLP, educational psychologist, specialist in the eastern version of neuroprogramming, specialist in personal well-being and family relationships, trainer, coach, esoteric psychotherapist. The author of more than 500 articles on a variety of problems, which you can see by looking at the *articles* section and, probably, this will already help solve your problem. The author of more than 100 training programs, which you can see by visiting my video channel on YouTube by typing “Afanasyeva Lilia.” I’ll start with the fact that I work with both female and male sexual problems. Among male sexual problems and difficulties with potency and erection, it is worth noting the syndrome of anxious anticipation of sexual failure (ASF) and premature ejaculation. But I, as a sexologist and psychotherapist, do work on male sexual problems of a different order. Once a 26-year-old guy came to see me in Moscow with his male sexual problems. His problem was this: he could only have sex with the pill. When this had already dragged on and continued for 2 years, a serious addiction arose, and the desire to try other options completely disappeared. Having realized and comprehended the situation, the guy came to me in order to remove this unhealthy addiction. When we started working, and I put the client into a trance state, asking him to see the image of the pill, he said the following: “Yes, I see her, she’s so small, blue, but very significant and important.” “Yeah, why is she so all this? tablet?" - I asked. The answer was: “Because it gives me self-confidence.” Consequently, I could already conclude, as a good psychologist, sexologist and psychotherapist, that the client was not confident enough in himself. And we “went” deeper into this topic. What came out here was not a sexual story at all. The guy remembered himself walking down the street, and a man was walking towards him - handsome and pumped up. He compared himself to him (although he was quite handsome, but in terms of muscles he was quite ordinary), and this also became part of the problem of his insecurity. Then came the teenage story, when he participated in sports competitions, he became afraid of letting the team down . We easily removed this, bringing to the consciousness that the situation of the past no longer has any basis. In addition, we leveled his fears and disappointed look from the outside, adding excitement and inspiration. Further, the following questions also related to uncertainty: fear of meeting someone and the topic - what to talk about? Will I be interesting to a girl? Again, after adjusting his behavior, the guy gained an understanding that now it’s much easier for him to do this, he had certain life experience, and instead of the behavior of a youth, we added to him adult male behavior and self-confidence. After this, his perfectionism came out, hence there were constant cross-checks and comparisons of oneself with someone. I, as an experienced psychologist, sexologist and psychotherapist, helped him remove this excess, adding lightness instead. After all, you can’t be the best and ideal in everything, there can always be someone who will be better than you, and is it worth grieving about this? The final work in terms of self-confidence is the release of a general negative state - it came out in the form of a thundercloud . Then, as the client said: “A light breeze blew over me, and awareness came.” We replaced excitement with calmness, the client summed up this state of self-confidence: “You and nothing else - this will now be my comfort zone.” Well, we moved on to “disassemble” the pill, which I will tell you about in the second part of my article. So, the second component of the “happy” sex pill was that it gave a “burst of strength.” I asked the client how he felt, and the guy replied:“It’s as if something is pouring into me, accelerating the blood, there is arousal and a normal erection.” I note that psychologists, sexologists and psychotherapists often use such a technique as working with images of themselves, which I also use in my therapy. So, the image was like this: “I am externally strong, but internally I am not.” Why is that? There is excitement in me about the unknown, I haven’t had the experience of sexual intercourse without a pill for a very long time, so I feel like I’m kind of “a little bit myself” now. We continued to make changes and remove the fear of the unknown, replacing it with the expectation of a meeting , communication in the form of SMS, phone calls. All this spoke of some kind of unity between him and the girl, when partners begin to reveal themselves more and more to each other. Then the following story came out from the past: the guys invited the girls, and then for private communication, each couple retired to one of the rooms. At that time, the client had no desire to have sex, which is where it came to him: “a little crazy” (in terms of being different from others). Having rethought the situation, he came to the conclusion that he shouldn’t think about it. We gave him confidence according to the circumstances, and actions according to his wishes. There is no need to conform to anyone here. And the girl, at that time, did not arouse any special desire in him, and this fact is also worth taking into account. The guy received, as he said: a “healthy look” at this story, and we moved on. And I, as an experienced sexologist, psychotherapist and the psychologist brought him to the stated topic - the connection between the pill and a surge of strength. So what happened here? You can get a surge of strength from everything. But even here there was a small problem to be solved. He remembered how willingly he went in for sports, but then he got sick and quit. Now we have eliminated his laziness, which settled in him, and added the desire to keep himself in good shape and be in good physical shape. In addition, we worked with the client’s motivation in this regard. Next, the guy remembered an advertisement on TV, which, oddly enough, also took away his strength, it was just information on male pills. It unconsciously motivates a person to take similar drugs. Plus he gives some negative predictions from the series: “Every second man after 40...”, etc. Instead, the guy was filled with even greater self-confidence and a surge of strength, which gave him new thoughts about the fact that: “she You’ll like everything. Everything will be great, and there’s no need to think about anything.” But we had one more block of work with the tablet, which I’ll tell you about in the next part of my article. Now, outwardly, everything seemed to be fine, and the client. was almost ready to give up taking erection pills, but then his reluctance suddenly emerged. And when I asked what the reason was, the guy answered: “Reluctance to change, laziness, the ability to act out of habit.” This showed the client’s resistance, which I had to work through as a psychologist, sexologist and psychotherapist. The client saw his path and said that he wanted to move forward. Here we began to make the necessary changes. The necessary transformation looked like this: Doom. The problem was kept alive by the excitement. We removed it, replacing it with the state: “Everything will go well, the erection will be as it should be.” We changed the expectation of a “bummer” to the desire to enjoy and ease. Thoughts about failures - we cross out and level ourselves with the already received and developed self-confidence, bringing this is before realizing and consolidating the changes received the day before. Fear of surprises - the idea that there is nothing to be afraid of. The image of a black cat emerged from the client. We added grace to him (the client’s desire) and energy. Self-satisfaction (the habit of masturbating) - for general self-satisfaction: “Now everything in sex will be fine, even more self-confidence and desire to have sex.” Stiffness and embarrassment, awkwardness and tightness, and We also replaced the fear of “not being liked” with the idea that everything will work out on its own. We added improvisation and inspiration. From here came the idea that life would be good, and “I can do anything,” as well as the desire to enjoy every day..