The original text was published on the website: Psychologist services in Moscow !!Interview with Dmitry Basov about family constellations according to Hellinger.!! Correspondent: – Hello, Dmitry! Dmitry: – Hello! K: ​​– Now in Moscow there are a lot of proposals for all kinds of psychological training, including family constellations according to Bert Hellinger. Sometimes this information is very contradictory, smacks of esotericism and mysticism, and at first glance looks absurd. Dmitry, You appear to be the official constellation of “Hellinger Sciencia”, information about you is posted on the official website of Bert Hellinger, please tell our readers - what are family constellations and how does it work? D: - Yes, there are indeed a lot of different kinds on the Internet now information about the method of family constellations, and understanding it is sometimes not easy. Even in professional circles there are different opinions regarding what constellations are. I will tell you about my vision and understanding of constellations. K: - Yes, tell me, please. D: - For myself, I consider family constellations a method of psychotherapy (some constellations refer to family constellations as spiritual practices and esotericism), although I admit that What was discovered and described by the author of the method, the German psychotherapist and philosopher Bert Hellinger, goes far beyond psychology and for many people becomes a philosophy, a concept of worldview and part of the worldview. If we talk about constellations in a practical way, today constellations are one of the most effective methods of psychotherapy. K: - Dmitry, please tell me, why is this method so effective? D: - Firstly, due to its depth, and secondly, due to its short-term nature. Family constellation shows the deep unconscious reasons that lie in our family system. In fact, the arrangement shows us what is happening in our souls and in the souls of our loved ones. From this unconscious dynamics, the cause of the problematic situation discussed in the constellation becomes visible. K: - Dmitry, tell me, what does the definition of the unconscious cause of what is happening in his life give the client, and what should he do about it next? D: - Oh, this very good question! When we are not aware of something, it controls us from the unconscious. After all, we will not argue with Freud and say that our life and destiny are controlled by consciousness. I think that very few people will say that they specifically chose to be sick, suffer from conflicts and be poor. In our minds, we all want to be rich, healthy and prosperous. But in the life of each of us a certain “BUT” arises, about which we say: “It happened so, I don’t understand why, but I couldn’t do anything...” This notorious “BUT” is the unconscious dynamics that in fact controls our life and determines our destiny. If in psychoanalysis it takes from 100 to 300 hours of therapy to realize and understand this dynamic, then thanks to the family constellation method it is possible to see it in 1 time, in just 1 constellation. So, thanks to the constellation, what was hidden and controlled us , comes into the light and becomes conscious. Now we can interact with this and make our decisions. In addition to the fact that the arrangement shows the reasons for what is happening in our lives, the arrangement helps to find a solution in each specific situation. I will illustrate this with a simple example from family constellations. A woman came to me for a constellation, whose 10-year-old son complained of constant discomfort in the heart area and the associated fear of death. Doctors did not find any deviations from the norm. In the arrangement, we placed deputies: for the mother and father of the child, for the child himself, and for the cause of the pain in the heart. From the arrangement it becomes clear that the figure of the cause is a man and suffers from pain in the heart. It looked like this: The substitute cause reaches out to the figure of the child's mother and lies down on the floor (which in the language of the family system means that he has died).The figure of the child's mother turns away from this man and cannot look at him. The figure of the child's father stands aside indifferently. The child's surrogate reaches out his hands to the man lying on the floor. From this arrangement it becomes clear that someone with "heart symptoms" has been excluded from the family system and is related to the client, and through her, to her son. According to the law of maintaining balance in the family system, if someone was excluded, one of the younger members of the family system will take on this role and will replace him, bearing his symptoms. In this arrangement, the excluded man was the child's mother's first man, with whom she had a strong love, but with whom she broke off the relationship due to his illness (heart defect). As it turned out later, that man died of a heart defect six months after she left him. From this arrangement, not only the reason became obvious, but also the solution - stop excluding this man and give him his due place in your soul. It was not so easy for the client to do this, since very strong feelings were repressed, and touching them was scary and painful. But, having received the support of the group, she could live through this pain, accept the fate of her first partner, give him a place in her soul and let him go with love. Already in the evening of the same day, the child’s symptoms disappeared and a pleasant feeling of warmth appeared in the heart area. But the story didn't end there. A week later, the child’s symptoms returned. At the next constellation group, only a diagnostic constellation was made, from which it became clear that the woman again did not look at her first partner and turned away from him. (Apparently the grief over her first love was so strong that she couldn’t cope without support and closed her feelings again). Then it was decided to work in individual psychotherapy. In total, it took her about a year to experience all these feelings, because... During therapy, a story emerged that she was not grieving her father, who died when she was 12 years old. In the words of the client herself: “The therapy changed my whole life, I became more free and spontaneous, internal tension went away, energy for life appeared in both me and my son (grieving, especially suppressed grief, takes a lot of strength and energy), headaches went away , relations with my husband improved, more mutual understanding appeared. K: – Yes, it sounds impressive! How does the arrangement itself take place? D: – Outwardly, everything looks very simple! A group of people gathers, each with their own request. The client voices his request, and we begin to work. First, we place a deputy for the client, then we add other deputies as needed to fill the roles of other participants necessary for this arrangement, and observe from the outside what begins to happen in the arrangement. The substitutes begin to experience feelings and experience relationships with each other (this relationship reflects what is happening in the soul (unconscious) of the person whom he replaces). Everything happens silently, and from the bodily movements and movements of the deputies in the space of arrangement, it becomes clear what is happening in the situation that the request concerned. K: - Dmitry, please tell me, how do the deputies feel what is happening in the soul of that person? which they replace. D: -This phenomenon has not yet been fully understood. In modern astrophysics there is a theory of a spiritual or energy-informational field (as you like). So, this theory tells us that information about the present, past and future is located at any point in space. Bert Hellinger simply found it out by experience. He noticed that when a deputy is asked to enter the role of another person, he begins to experience his feelings and sometimes even feel his physical sensations (for example, back pain or difficulty breathing). K: - Dmitry, is this not dangerous for the deputy? D: - No. All these sensations are temporary and do not remain with the deputy longer than he is in the arrangement field. Each family system has its own boundaries, andshe will not allow anyone else to take her with her and carry away any symptom. K: – There are now a lot of reviews on the Internet about constellations, and they are all different, some are enthusiastic, some are sharply negative. Your site is mostly reservedly positive, with gratitude. Tell me, please, what does the effectiveness of the arrangement depend on? D: – The effectiveness of the arrangement depends on many factors. Firstly, from the client and his willingness to touch the problem, experience feelings and change something in his soul, work on himself. Secondly, from the professionalism of the psychotherapist who conducts the constellation, from his ability to see and highlight the main dynamics. From the therapist’s resilience, when it is important not to succumb to the client’s resistance and not go down the wrong path. From the consort's courage to see the truth and show it to the client, no matter how difficult it may be. And of course, it depends on how the client formulates his request for arrangement. K: - Dmitry, please tell me, what is a request for arrangement? D: - A request for arrangement is literally 2 - 3 phrases describing the situation, and the desire that -change this. There is no need for unnecessary information, background stories, thoughts and guesses. Rather, all this interferes with the formulation of the request. Extra information distracts from the main thing and creates projections in deputies. I like to do a “clean slate” constellation, when the client voices only his problem and what he would like from the constellation. All the necessary information comes from the arrangement. If we need some facts from the family history, I ask the client about this already during the constellation. K: - Dmitry, please give an example of a good request for constellation! D: - It’s very simple. For example, if a woman comes to a constellation and her problem concerns difficult relationships in the family, the request can be formulated as follows: “I have constant conflicts with my husband, my relationship is collapsing. “I would like to understand why this is happening in my life, and what needs to be done to save my family and improve relationships.” These are literally 2 phrases, but this is already enough for the arrangement. There is no need to give any details. Since the constellation takes place in a group, this ensures the comfort and safety of the client. K: - Dmitry, tell me how to correctly formulate a request for a constellation if you cannot clearly define your problem or there are a lot of problems. D: - It’s very simple. You need to listen to yourself, to your inner feelings and feel what is most important now, what worries you the most. This is not difficult to do, you can close your eyes for a minute, immerse yourself and wait for what comes from within. If this cannot be done, then I recommend coming to an individual consultation before the constellation in order to highlight the main thing and formulate a request from this. The request for constellation must be personally significant for the client and relevant. If this is not the case, and we begin to arrange something that is not very significant or do something out of curiosity, there is no energy in it, the system does not open up, the dynamics are sluggish and confused. So, the request must be relevant and formulated from a position of responsibility. For example, if someone says, “I want to earn a million dollars” or “I want to get married.” I always answer: “Earn money,” “Get married.” Then we come to the conclusion that something is interfering with this, and here it is important that the client stops expecting results from me and is ready to do something himself. Unfortunately, in our country it is very deeply ingrained in the mentality of people that in order for something to be good, someone must do it for them: parents, state, party, etc. It won't work that way in the setup. Just because we rearrange something in space, nothing will change; it’s not magic. In constellations, all changes in the situation occur following changes in the client’s soul. The arrangement only shows what needs to be changed and in what direction. If the client does not do this for some reason, then there is no need to expect changes. The arrangement shows the way. If a person wants and canto go, he follows it himself, but if he is not ready and does not want to change, but prefers to remain a child at heart and expect everything from others, he leaves offended or angry at the truth that he saw from the constellation, and at the therapist, of course same. If I see that the client is ready to work, changes are important for him, but while he cannot go on his own, he needs support and feedback - I invite him to psychotherapy, where he can individually, with my help, go through this path. K: - What happens to the client after the arrangement? D: It’s different for everyone. If the client is not ready for changes and is internally afraid or does not want them, then he begins to “sausage”, thereby the system pushes him to change, and here everything depends on the client’s choice, on the vector of application of his internal efforts. Either forward to changes, or back to repressing, devaluing and “covering up” what appeared in the arrangement. If the client is ready to follow the intended path, he feels relief, continues the spiritual work begun during the constellation, and changes begin to appear in his life in the context of his request. Often the initiative for these changes comes from another party, for example from the husband. There is a law in the family system: if one element of the system changes, in order to maintain balance, the entire system is forced to change. If internal changes have occurred in the client’s soul, another member of the system can manifest their external equivalent. Let me give you an example: on the 2nd day after the arrangement, a woman called me and told me that her ex-husband called her from abroad and offered financial assistance to her and her son. Before the arrangement, the situation was approximately the following: the husband did not pay alimony on principle, avoided it in every possible way, and for the 3 years that passed after the divorce did not give a penny to the family. The wife, in turn, did not respect and despise him, and this began immediately after their wedding (they say, the wrong man is not the same as dad). During the constellation regarding their son's health, she began to respect her ex-husband as her choice, as the child's father and as a person. This gave its results. In the family system, we are all connected on an unconscious level and a distance of 5000 kilometers is not a hindrance. K: – Yes, this is certainly impressive! Dmitry, tell me, is it true that the arrangement works with absolutely all problems? D: – Yes and no at the same time. There are cases when the arrangement is not shown. These are severe mental illnesses in periods of exacerbation, acute grief in the stages of shock and denial. Otherwise, the arrangement works with all the problems that arise along our life path. These include serious illnesses, psychosomatics, accidents, and various kinds of relationships, including with money, etc. The only thing you can’t do is perceive the arrangement as a cure for all problems. In some cases, the alignment shows that it is too late and nothing can be done. Then we can only resign ourselves to fate. K: – Dmitry, I’ve heard the opinion that constellation can only be done once in a lifetime, is that really true? D: – No, this is a misconception and, by the way, quite common. These words are attributed to Bert Hellinger, but I myself observed at his seminar in Germany how within three days he made 2 constellations for the same person. K: - How often can constellations be done? D: - There is no definite answer here. I always say that arrangement can be done when an urgent request has matured. When you feel ready to move on. This could be a week, a month, or a year. Those who do constellations very often, as a rule, are not ready to work on their own and expect something from the constellation as if from a magic wand, and this is more likely an indication for personal psychotherapy than for constellations. K: – I heard that individual constellations have become fashionable now and placements on the figures. How do you feel about this? D: – The constellation method was created as a method of group psychotherapy, and it is best to do constellation in a group. There are fewer projections, more is visible and the energy of the field is stronger. But, if necessary,.