Every time we fall in love, we experience elation. However, time passes, and often, our partner’s sweet weaknesses turn into a source of irritation. We are becoming more and more intolerant. We begin to find fault even with non-existent problems. Love is a large magnifying glass or mirror, in which all our difficulties and complexes are visible especially clearly. - Do you have the feeling that your partner reacts inappropriately to some of your statements? - Don’t you think that sometimes you make a scandal because nonsense? - Have you heard from others that you interpret their words and actions incorrectly? - Is it common for you that you have difficulty forgiving offenses, even if the conflict has already been resolved? If you answered “yes” at least once, then let's understand this issue. Each of us carries a large emotional burden of problems. We have accumulated them since childhood, and if in childhood we did not focus too much on this, now childhood traumas come to our full attention. This can be offended by your dad for not spending enough time with you, or with your mom for not buying a new toy or your brother not paying attention to your problem. All these emotions are the building blocks of a unique building that is you, your individuality .The closer you get to your partner, the easier it is for suppressed feelings to break out. And more often we suppress difficult feelings, those that are usually called negative. Look carefully at what exactly in your partner causes negative feelings in you, and then honestly and openly at yourself and your behavior. Most likely, you will notice that you are especially irritated or stressed by what you intensely deny and do not accept about yourself. Has anyone taught you how to love? Of course, we don’t have special lessons on building relationships, which is a pity... But as we grow up, we all learn relationships and the art of love from our parents. Until we leave our parents' home, we absorb the lessons our parents teach us. Your teachers could also be grandparents, older sisters and brothers, or aunts and uncles. A child inevitably learns relationships from his loved ones, from his family. It was by looking at your parents that you taught yourself to be secretive or, conversely, to be open. If you saw them lie each other, then you have learned the science of lying; if you hid your feelings, then you learn to do the same. We imitate our parents from birth, even when we don’t want to. Our parents gave us the first lesson in relationships, the second lesson we learn from society. If earlier in the movies we saw mostly idealized families, determined to build a bright future, now these are mostly infidelities, open relationships or avid bachelors, unmarried women, each in their own way living only for themselves and for the sake of making money, leading a rollicking lifestyle. Happiness has become associated with freedom, and freedom from any obligations. We often hear from young people that they want an open relationship, without any obligations. But relationships are hard work and not easy. And any job comes with responsibility. Of course, over the course of evolution, attitudes towards marriage have changed. In the days of our great-grandmothers, marriage was not viewed as a romantic adventure, but rather as an economically profitable transaction. After all, remember, parents of young people often agreed on the wedding and how and where the newlyweds would live. Women got married in order to find a breadwinner (they did not work), a man got married in order to find comfort, care and children. At the same time, love and happiness were considered as special luck. It was then that the expression was born: “if you endure it, you fall in love.” Normal sexual and spiritual life were considered an excess. And spiritual life came down mainly to watching films telling about a bright future and how well we live. It was already easier for our parents’ generation, they themselves could decide with whom to enter into a relationship. And yet the only acceptable choice was!