Having experienced a divorce and many associated clouds, you are ready to enter into a new relationship, or even get married, but the feeling of anxiety for the wealth of your new family does not leave you... Once you “got burned in milk and now you are blowing water”? This is a natural reaction to the life experience you have received, at the moment it is important to correctly evaluate this experience. It turns out that most people tend to repeat in subsequent marriages the mistakes made in the first case, and thus turn their personal life into a cycle consisting of falling in love, an unconscious creation problem, inability to solve it and, as a consequence, a breakdown in relationships. Thanks to many psychological studies, experts in the field of family relations have concluded that almost all divorced people, regardless of gender and age, chose a new spouse with the same personality structure as the one with whom the marriage ended. For example, a girl who grew up in a single-parent family , without fatherly attention or who felt somehow disadvantaged, unable to stand up for herself and protect herself, unconsciously reaches out to men who can provide her with a sense of security - strong, courageous, powerful and decisive. However, a person with such qualities is most likely prone to a dictatorial style of behavior who will protect and protect “his” from any misfortune, without dividing property into living/non-living. He may be obsessed with the safety of his wife, as well as his apartment or car, and will not allow anyone outside to approach them, but he himself will dispose of the “property” as he pleases - he will destroy the apartment, or he will discipline his wife with his fists. After a while, naturally, the woman cannot stand it and runs away from her chosen one, starting to look for a new one who is equally strong, capable of protecting her from troubles, and perhaps from the attacks of her ex, and then... all over again. Another option, when a man suppressed by his mother lived his whole life according to at her direction and regarded her as an undeniable authority, he is looking for an equally dominant woman for the role of “substitute mother”. Having received one, he submits to her authority, and then, finding himself “under the thumb,” breaks off the relationship, and after getting divorced, he again unconsciously looks for maternal traits and protective manners in his new wife. Before stepping into a new relationship, you should ask yourself the question - why did the previous marriage break up? ?Many are tormented by this question and find erroneous answers in physical, external reasons, such as: infidelity of spouses, interference of parents or friends, sexual or material dissatisfaction. In fact, the reason always lies in the psychological tension between spouses and lack of mutual understanding. But you shouldn’t think that this is an insurmountable stumbling block; you just had to think about what traits in you turned out to be incompatible, and turn to face each other in time. However, time and the moment are lost and a break with the hated person is inevitable, people get divorced - only to later connect their lives with exactly the same person and “step on the same rake.” Under such circumstances, divorce is not at all an ideal solution to your own internal problems and attitude towards your family. Without working on mistakes, without reconsidering his attitude towards marriage, love and family, a person will drag a cart of failures from one spouse to another. Therefore, those entering into a remarriage must, first of all, carefully figure out: what was the reason for your previous divorce? What qualities of you or your former spouse prevented mutual understanding. Aren't they the ones who attracted you to him? And for what reason are you drawn to people of this particular type, and why then don’t you find a common language with them? And do you really need just such qualities in a person, moreover, associated with certain shortcomings? After all, there is no coin without a reverse side: if there is care, total guardianship is possible, if there is protection, dictatorship is possible, there is no obsession - indifference is possible …. But if you reveal those complexes and.