How to make peace after a serious quarrel with your loved one? There are conflicts in any relationship. This is normal and natural, because through a quarrel people get to know each other better and reach a new level of intimacy. In the midst of a conflict, it seems to you that your partner completely does not understand the main problem. Communication between you is broken, you literally cannot reach each other. How to reconcile after a quarrel? Get out of your social role There are many such roles, you are at the same time a wife, mother, sister, etc. In order to productively resolve a conflict situation, it is necessary to conditionally leave your social role. This will allow you to be as objective as possible in assessing what is happening. “When we quarrel with a partner, I always try to think not only about my behavior and motives, but also his. This way I manage to be less offended and understand my loved one more,” says Olesya. Understand what your motivationThere are two types of motivation: military and peaceful. The military is manifested in the desire to prove that one is right by convincing one’s partner that he is very mistaken. Peaceful motivation implies that you are both interested in resolving the conflict productively. Are you ready to doubt the correctness of your point of view, to hear your partner. How to change military motivation to peaceful one? The most important step is to give vent to negative emotions, while doing it environmentally, through I-messages. Only in this case will you be able to transform the desire to attack and defend yourself into a desire to reconcile. Understand how your partner sees the problem. Each of the participants in the conflict sees the situation extremely subjectively. That is, not as it is in reality, but as his psyche interpreted it. That's why it's worth focusing on the fact that your arguments may be wrong. This rule is also true for a partner. Everyone can make mistakes, the main thing is to be able to find a compromise. Conflicts are an integral part of any relationship. But these very relationships will only develop and grow when you both learn to see the true motives of the other and your own. Don’t be afraid of quarrels - they can make you even closer to each other. Sincerely, Your psychologist, coach, logotherapist, specialist in self-development and self-esteem, Natalya Akhmedova