From the author: sexologist-psychotherapist, family psychologist. expert on television programs, member of the professional psychotherapeutic league, master of NLP, educational psychologist, specialist in the eastern version of neuroprogramming, specialist in personal well-being and family relationships, trainer, coach, esoteric psychotherapist. The author of more than 500 articles on a variety of problems, which you can see by looking at the *articles* section and, probably, this will already help solve your problem. The author of more than 100 training programs, which you can see by visiting my video channel on YouTube and typing “Afanasyeva Liliya This is a very common male sexual problem that we all work with: sexologists, psychotherapists, and family psychologists. Experts understand how It’s not easy for the client. The problem of anxious expectation of sexual failure (ASF) is not something that can be quickly eliminated. Now I had a client from Moscow at my appointment. A guy in his early thirties. With his condition, everything is not working out as quickly and actively as I would like. The first thing that emerged was the peculiarities of his psyche, character, and overall behavior. , who will always find real and imaginary difficulties within himself, which will have a negative impact both in life in general and in the sphere of sex. Now the man said that he probably does not have the energy tone that he would like. In addition, there is no sexual drive, and he replaces sexual urges with masturbation. As a result, relationships that would have been possible in the future are increasingly suffering. We have come to the topic of understanding and eliminating the difficulties associated with this behavior of my client from Moscow. The first is the habit of masturbation. It is clear that all men masturbate: some from childhood, some from adolescence. But then, usually all this is replaced as much as possible by sex. Here the client showed that he had not matured, and still, many years later, the habit of masturbation for him is a preference that he uses. As a result, the option of pair sex is replaced by the “solo” option. At one time the man believed that over time the situation would somehow change and everything would go away on its own, but now he realized that he couldn’t cope on his own. Here I, as a psychologist-sexologist, helped him remove the accompanying conditions: self-doubt, thoughts that girls don’t like me, I’m not good enough, including in sex. Here, as one might expect, I remembered a number of sexual partners who confirmed this fact. But not everything was as gloomy as it was pictured in the client’s psyche. There were a lot of good girls and normal sex. Here, having eliminated past experience, we removed its anxiety, artificiality and intricacy. Next, classic work on self-confidence and creating adequate self-esteem. The desired state of my client from Moscow has changed, he said that he is almost ready to switch to sex and reduce masturbation. And now I, as a sexologist, psychotherapist and family psychologist, have to work through this “almost”. There will also be work with an immature sexual identity, which prevents a guy from behaving in sex like an adult man. But not everything is as fast as we would like. Here you should make a series of iterations and approach the desired state in a problem-free manner. And then the man’s readiness to perform sexual intercourse in the version that he would like to have will be most likely. I would like to note that I conduct webinars on the topic of female and male orgasm, both jointly and privately. I invite you to my free webinars. Details on the “b-17” portal in the “Webinars” section. PS This article is fictitious and has nothing to do with real characters