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From the author: Telegram - @i_revyakinaMetaphorical photo pictures “Happy Relationships” is the author’s technique, created on the basis of experience working with couples, men, women, who dream of building strong, trusting and long-term relationships in a family/couple. The use of metaphorical photo pictures in work helps the psychologist, together with the client, to more deeply understand the reasons for his failures in the field of male-female relationships, and to experience separation from a partner less painfully, if this is already inevitable. The pictures reveal the peculiarities of communication in a couple, family crises and conflicts, difficulties of self-expression in sexual relationships, relationships with close relatives. My experience in the field of family counseling (psychotherapy) was also embodied in my author’s book “The Psychology of Happy Relationships”. In the process of analyzing clients’ problems, it was found that relationships men and women suffer mainly due to problems in the following areas: ideas about a partner (men and women tend to often “make mistakes” in their choice, idealize a partner, and then be disappointed); in the process of meeting and getting to know each other they continue to “turn a blind eye” “to their partner’s shortcomings, and even if they are noticed, they prefer not to believe even “hints” from loved ones; inability to distribute responsibilities in the family (men prefer to shoulder everyday life and work on fragile women’s shoulders, while they themselves reserve the right to be breadwinners in the family. As a result, women suffer from the burden of responsibilities, and men from boredom in family life and are often distracted “to the left,” thinking that there is something different there; financial problems (the woman earns money or the man). If a woman works in a family, it is psychologically more difficult for her, because due to a complex and busy work schedule, it is not always possible to maintain femininity without turning into a “man in a skirt.” Many men suffer from infantilism, so an earning woman is simply a godsend in their lives; family crises and the inability to overcome them together, seek help from a specialist. Often, men and women come to see a psychologist asking him to do something to make his husband or wife change. But we understand that this request is initially manipulative. A psychologist cannot be a “mother” or “father” for a client and take responsibility for his life. His task is to draw the client’s attention to the fact that he is trying to avoid responsibility for the relationship, making decisions, shifting his painful sense of guilt onto another. The work begins from the moment when the client realizes that he is not happy with something in the relationship and is ready to change and do something about it. Otherwise, psychological assistance is doomed to failure; the birth of a child in the family. The most difficult and crisis moment in a couple, since it requires partners to form relationships in a different capacity (as “father” and “mother”). Unfortunately, not all couples can cope with this, so they often break up, unable to withstand the crisis of embodying their new roles in the family system. This article does not discuss all the problems of a modern family. If you have your own observations and thoughts on this topic, I will be glad to hear them in the comments.

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