From the author: Fear is the main reason why people lie. When a person for some reason is afraid to tell the truth, he wants to avoid an emotionally unpleasant situation. “Lies and truth” - mechanisms for managing relationships. Man is a complex and contradictory creature. In essence, he is selfish and has certain weaknesses - the need for attention, praise, care, love, etc. The need for love, for being “needed” by another person is one of the fundamental human needs. You have probably been in a situation more than once when you were deceived. At the same time, when surveyed, many claim that they do not lie or deceive, but tell the truth, even if this truth will be unpleasant to another person. Absolutely, not a single person can be honest. The desire for the “Ideal” in its content sees the desire for self-deception. An ideal is an abstract construct created by us ourselves under the influence of generally accepted morality and morality. Indeed, by its definition, a lie is a deliberate attempt to hide or fabricate factual information in order to create or maintain faith in others. Society, institution, school, family call us to sincerity. But does society itself act fairly towards us? On the one hand, the main goal of society is to educate a self-confident, friendly and responsible person who can maintain self-control and calm in difficult situations. On the other hand, society itself imposes its rules and requirements on us, thereby preventing the development of a harmoniously developed personality. A lie is the other side of our desire. We often keep silent, understate, or, on the contrary, overly extol, admire, each pursuing our own goal. After all, if you tell the truth, it means talking about the real situation. We all strive to be considered noble and well-mannered people. At the same time, we have more than once had to: hide hostility towards each other; show excessive admiration for someone; demonstrate increased interest or sympathy for someone that we do not feel; comply with imposed declared norms of behavior that are contradictory to our own. When we express any statements of our own point of view, we immediately fall into the category of an ill-mannered, rude, conflict-ridden person, or even immoral. Therefore, the desire to “be good” is very strong. No one wants to “be bad,” especially with people close and dear to you. In order to maintain good, friendly relationships, we often avoid a direct answer, do not say something, keep silent, embellish, pretend, in other words, we deceive. But do we maintain trusting, friendly relationships in real life? How to make sure that lying does not become a bad habit and does not turn against us? After all, lies eat away at the soul. “The punishment for a liar is not that no one believes him anymore, but that he himself cannot trust anyone anymore” (D.B. Shaw). What makes a person act this way and not otherwise? To answer these questions, you need to know the reasons for lying. The most common reasons why people lie: A person does not want to upset someone he likes. Such a person will talk about anything, just so as not to cause pain and suffering to the other person. For example: when this person is seriously ill. He will suffer himself, but will not tell. In order to protect the other. Such a person will convincingly present arguments in favor of another person due to lack of evidence, even taking his guilt upon himself, in order to protect him, believing in his innocence. Because lack of attention. Some people's need is to be the center of attention. If a person feels a lack of attention to his person, then he will achieve at any cost, not disdaining lies. In order not to listen to criticism and reproaches addressed to him. Any criticism undermines a person’s self-esteem. When a person is constantly pointed out that he is doing something wrong, that hewrong, etc. often in the presence of other people, this person will come up with various options to justify himself. In order to gain respect. Such a person boasts about imaginary success, talks about compliments that he did not receive, exaggerates the price of purchased things in order to gain more respect. To hide your mistake and avoid criticism and responsibility. A person is not ideal and it is common for him to make mistakes. Many, due to high moral requirements, cannot admit this fact. Such a person will try to hide his mistake in order to avoid responsibility and remain “good.” In order to achieve his goal. In a situation where he really wants to achieve something, but there is no way, since all methods have been tried, the person achieves the goal “sophisticatedly, not always worthy" methods. And lying helps speed up this process. For example, in order to occupy a good position, a person ascribes to himself qualities that he does not possess, exaggerates his own merits, belittles the importance of others, etc. Fear is the main reason why people lie. When a person is afraid to tell the truth for some reason, he wants to avoid an emotionally unpleasant situation. “Truthfulness is the breath of life, it is the basis of all dignity” (T. Dreiser), and “a lie is the product of malice, cowardice or vanity” (F Chesterfield). Telling the truth is not always simple and easy, because there are things which are easy to say, but impossible to listen to. If we hide the truth in order to protect someone who might be hurt by it, this is courageous behavior. But if a person does not want to admit his guilt, shortcomings, failures and weaknesses, sins and crimes, for fear of damaging his own well-being and image, if at the same time he does not worry about his duty towards other people, this is even worse than cowardice. There are no areas of human activity in which we would not encounter deception. Lies are such an ordinary, habitual phenomenon that many lie without thinking, without being tormented by remorse. “The truth is like a bitter drink, unpleasant to the taste, but restoring health” (Balzac). Everyone decides for himself what to do, what to do - tell the truth or lie. To tell the truth means to talk about the world around us in which we live. But everyone has their own truth, their own truth, which is subjective and depends on our views, beliefs, emotions. The more openness and trust there is in a relationship, the less people have to hide from each other and vice versa. Advice for those who are often lied to: It is important for you to understand that emotions (resentment) reduce the ability to think and understand what the interlocutor is saying. Perhaps it seems to you that you were caught in a lie and therefore you perceive distorted information (lies) too emotionally. Perhaps that is why, because of your excessive emotionality, many do not want to tell you the truth, fearing even greater emotions. If your interlocutor evokes negative feelings in you, tell him about it. Feelings, especially if they are negative and strong, should under no circumstances be kept to yourself: you should not silently endure an insult, suppress anger, or maintain a calm appearance when you are very excited. “With such efforts you will not be able to deceive anyone: neither yourself, nor your interlocutor, who can easily “read” from your postures, gestures, intonations, facial expressions or eyes, that something is wrong. It is necessary to clearly distinguish between your attitude towards a person and your attitude towards someone's qualities, actions and thoughts. Accept a person for who he is, for what he is, and not for the fact that he is beautiful, smart, knowledgeable, skillful. Acceptance means respect! Advice for those who often lie: It is important to stop being afraid! First of all, fear is an internal state. Perhaps there have been many situations in your life that left you with negative experiences. There is no need to be afraid of the world around you. Indeed, under the influence of your experiences, you may misinterpret the information received. You must try to focus on the real situation and realize that your life is nothing.