A girl was born into one family. Dad really wanted a boy, so he named his daughter Evgenia. That’s what he would have called his son, but bad luck, he turned out to be a “marriage maker.” He was very worried. The daughter grew up, she was dressed in the cast-offs of her friends’ sons. He and his wife cut their daughter’s hair like a boy’s. Zhenya always dreamed of braids. But not fate. Before school, the girl became so shy that everyone took her for a boy, that she persuaded her mother to let her hair grow at least a little bit. As a result, my mother began to cut her hair like her mother-in-law. Exactly the same. The girl's father immediately reoriented himself. He began to see in his daughter his mother, whom he hated, but before whom he was in awe. The grandmother was a psychopathic person who sadistically beat her only son. She also played various mean tricks on him, looking like a saint. He could not forgive her for this and felt endless anger and resentment. And then “hung himself for projections” appeared. The man began to attribute to his daughter all the traits of his mother. “You are incredibly vindictive. Your face is twisted with resentment. You have a very difficult character. You are very shy. If you give you free rein, you will become a sadist. You can see it in you,” the father told his daughter every day. Gradually, the girl’s face became offended, as can be seen from the photographs. And the father went all out: “Your lips are like tongs from resentment. Look at yourself, how you look! You are the spitting image of woman Galya.” So he began to call her “Baba Galya.” And this continued until she was thirty years old. In fact, all my life. Even when she and her husband were divorcing because of beatings, her father looked at her and said, “Wow, you’re just like Galya. A passion-bearer and a hypocrite.” This is a typical case of displacement of aggression. The girl's father had hatred for his own mother, but also a very strong fear of her. He was afraid to object or express anything to his mother. He always indulged her and obeyed her. Otherwise, she created a scene where Corvalol, Validol, the ambulance and public opinion were all, all, all. And he was terribly afraid of this. The accumulated feelings need to be put somewhere. The one who is at hand remains. The best person is the one who is weak and dependent; he will not fight back. How did I come across this story? I worked with a girl who cannot look at her photographs, especially children’s ones, and feels self-hatred. Please be sensitive to the fact that a young child is seen as a parent who is hated. This is a projection and displacement of aggression, because a child is a child. This is still a “blank slate”. Glebova Alexandra Valerievna, psychologist in St. Petersburg. Sign up for a consultation telegram and whatsapp by number +7(921)6453485