Man is the creator of his own destiny. Don't believe me? Do you think that fate is circumstances external to a person? I suggest you explore this idea. If you look at the circumstances of your life based on external limitations, you might want to try looking differently. What if we accept as an option that you yourself choose the circumstances with which you meet? Think now about any circumstance in your life that does not suit you. Describe it in detail for yourself. This could be a relationship that doesn’t suit you, a job you don’t like, financial problems, and something else in the same spirit. Describe not only the circumstances, but also your view of the reasons for what is happening: why do you think this is the case now? Now look what you have done. For example, you think that you are surrounded by bad people who are not worthy of you and who interfere with your happiness. And what is typical is that such situations are repeated in your life, for example. What's happening? Can you say that you choose them yourself? I would say yes, but not consciously for the most part. For example, you are, to put it mildly, not a master of communication. Every time you have to communicate with someone, you experience difficulties, be it colleagues at work, official authorities or personal relationships. It’s as if you stumble over the same stone every time and think that your fate throws villainous intrigues at you in the form of unsuitable people. Is this so? What kind of choices can you see here? You choose to be angry at people and perhaps at your own fate too. You may choose to stay in a job where you have less interaction with people, even though there is nothing else you like about the job. You may choose not to choose to improve your communication skills and learn good communication skills. Another situation. You describe the problems in your life and their causes and it turns out that everything is bad because your appearance leaves much to be desired, that you are not so smart or competent to take a worthy position, and so on. And this is also often repeated in your life. What is the choice here? You choose to maintain your opinion about yourself, which most likely learned in childhood and was reinforced by personal experiences at school. You don't choose to deal with the reality of self-esteem, you give up the possibility of expressing your desire to get promoted, or you choose to be unhappy when it happens again. But maybe the problem with what's happening is that you feel bad about yourself, tend to criticize yourself and devalue yourself? And shouldn’t you figure out what benefits you get from choosing this again and again? Is it because it protects you from disappointment in yourself? And look what can follow from what has been said: you refuse good relationships with people in order to avoid rejection, you refuse to treat yourself well, because if you treat yourself well, you can be disappointed in yourself. And to put it very simply: give up the chance to live so as not to suffer in the end. This is the choice behind many of the choices that humans make. What lessons can be learned from these kinds of discoveries about choice? The lesson of life is to choose life and not give it up. Choose intimacy with people, even if you end up having to separate in life or death. Choose to love yourself, even if you are an ordinary person and may make mistakes. Make an appointment: Analytical psychologist Dombrovskaya Lyudmila