From the author: Has this ever happened? Sometimes you get daydreamed, sit by the window, and dream of something distant and pleasant. What I have long wanted and dreamed about. The look of a dear person, a bouquet of flowers, or something absolutely grandiose. Just imagine it in all its colors, and then take it and make it come true. And what was that? Why did this come true, but something else, perhaps much more important, did not? This is what I talked about in the article. How to make my dream come true? Why can't anything work out for me? What constantly prevents me from getting what I want? People will probably never stop asking these questions. Now there are many different attempts to answer them. Psychologists, coaches, esotericists offer a variety of ways to achieve success in life and bring your dreams closer. Each of them does it in their own way. In this article I tried to combine several different traditions, taking the most advantageous aspects of each. But at the beginning there are a few points that I consider necessary to mention. First. In my reasoning, I used not only psychology, but also esotericism. Speaking about esotericism, I mean the practice of meditation, including those based on the Tarot. Also, one of the foundations was the ideas of Vadim Zeland from his “Reality Transurfing”. Second. In this short article, I did not set myself the goal of introducing you to the techniques and approaches that are used in esotericism and psychology. This article is nothing more than an action plan. A kind of key. You can find the techniques themselves on the World Wide Web, but it’s better if you contact a specialist. And third. I feel it is necessary to mention safety. Eric Berne, an Austrian psychologist and psychiatrist, said that “Every person is definitely OK.” His words can also be interpreted as saying that despite all the difficulties and hardships, each of us represents a balanced harmonious system. And in order to make some transition to another possibly more effective state, it is necessary to go through a stage of unbalancing and reconfiguration. Including the physical one. At this moment, it is better to have a qualified specialist nearby and insure. Below are four cycles intended for sequential execution. Their passage is individual, depending on one’s own readiness. I use this approach in sessions with my clients. If you like this plan, come for a consultation. What do I want? Clarification of desires. Desires in people arise from a variety of motives. For example, one girl sincerely wanted her mother to have everything “the best.” But what dictates this desire? Does it come from the depths of the soul? Or was it just that the little girl in the soul of this young woman sincerely believed that if she managed to satisfy her mother, then she would finally show her that little bit of love that was missing throughout her childhood? Vadim Zeland said that in this case we are going towards someone else’s goal. Our desire is not from our own soul. This is my mother’s goal, and our subconscious does not consider all this to be ours. Our desire comes with a “condition”. Mom should have “everything” why? - So that my mother would finally love me. This is the desire for mother’s love, this is the basis for the true goal. His. But it’s hard to believe in her and a substitution is underway: I will help my mother, fulfill her wishes, in the hope that she will love me in return. Hope may not come true... So what happens? It seems like there are desires, the soul is full of them, but you still need to reach them, hear them. And on the way to real, genuine desires there are fears, conditions, and all kinds of beliefs about yourself and the world around you. How to hear your true desires, distinguish between your own desire and someone else’s? How to feel it? How many times in childhood were we told: “be persistent, don’t whine, don’t be a slob.” But how to “be persistent”, because tears and stamping of feet are real, genuine emotions. Sadness, anger, fear. How to “not whine” at the same time? And the decision comes, so as not to be punished again, not to show your feelings. But this is impossible. This means you can’t test them at all. And the child becomes such a “steadfast soldier”, to his delighthappy parents. And completely emotionally deaf. And the soul speaks the language of emotional images. And he speaks about his desires in the same language. How can a deaf person hear the whisper of the soul? So, the first step to understanding what you really want is to remove emotional deafness: figure out exactly what situation the child made the decisions “don’t feel”, “don’t think” and relive these events in a new way, make a different decision. Is it possible to do it yourself? Yes. And this will happen if you have the skill of self-analysis. Just like you can learn to apply makeup or shave without using a mirror. If this is difficult, but you need the goals to be achieved faster than in a dozen or two years, then you need someone who can reflect your thoughts and experiences. This is the work of more than one meeting, and it takes a lot of effort. In order to replenish energy reserves, various approaches can be used. For example, regular fitness training. I also added energy practices, for example, redistribution of energy using the forward and reverse Taoist circle. The practice of “stopping the world” will also help in overcoming the barrier. Approximately as Castaneda talked about this in his Travels. It's about turning off the internal dialogue. We have a constant, very loud stream of thoughts running through our heads. The whisper of the soul cannot be heard behind it. Only when this flow stops for a moment do we hear ourselves. It comes like a sudden insight. Insight. The occurrence of these insights can be controlled. For this, for example, you can use the “black dot” practice. Its essence is to concentrate attention on a neutral object. Black dot on a sheet of paper. You need all your attention, not just your vision, but devote your whole self to this point. Let all the words that arise pass through you without dwelling on them. It’s as if you are sitting on the bank of a river of thoughts and distantly looking at everything that it carries past. After a while the flow will subside and you will be able to ask yourself a question. For example, “what do you want?” The answer may not come immediately, but it will come, and you will feel that this is the true desire that your soul strives for. Insight. The result of work to clarify desires is to construct a formulation of a future goal. Now that the main blocks in the subconscious are visible and we have managed to hear genuine desires coming from the soul, we need a goal formula. We will consolidate it at the level of consciousness in order to use it as a core in further work. Here the requirements for the goal from the “well-formed result” technique will help us: positivity, controllability, and a suitable context. We will consider the remaining provisions a little later. “Positivity” means that the goal statement does not contain negation. We refuse negation, the particle “not”. Not “I don’t want to live with my mother,” but “I want to live separately and independently.” We set a direction towards something specific, and not into the unknown of something. “Controllability” of a goal means that you share the fact that achieving the goal is entirely within your power. Not “I want girls to like me”, but “I want to feel confident when communicating with them.” It doesn’t matter how exactly this happens, the main thing is to take full responsibility for the result. The “context” of the goal is the conditions under which the goal should be fulfilled. For example, you really want to go on vacation. So here it is important to want without “taking things for granted.” So “to go on vacation to Spain with my wife and children” - yes, but to “Vorkuta and with my mother-in-law” - no. “Losses.” You can't gain anything without losing something. So, having gotten rid of office slavery and becoming our own master, we lose stability; By solving the problem of loneliness and getting married, we lose our freedom. These losses must be accepted by the soul and not contradict the beliefs and limitations that were identified earlier. The resulting formulation must be tasted. Say it several times. It should be simple, not contain clutter, and sound like a motto that is pleasant to the heart. If this is not the case, then it is better to return to the beginning of the stage and go through it again - perhaps something happenedmissed. Here the quality of work is more important than speed - the cost of an error can be high. Goal opportunity So, we have a goal formulation. But is it possible? Is the goal realistic? Yes, it corresponds to the desires of the soul, does not contradict your beliefs, but do you yourself believe that this is possible in principle? Buying your own apartment, the appearance of a loved one in your life, the birth of a child, the success of your favorite business. Do you believe this? If yes, then you can move on to the next chapter. The notorious self-confidence is inextricably linked with trust in the world in general. After all, the world is a mirror into which God looks. And we are like him. This means we are also reflected in the mirror of the world. If there is no feeling of trust, then we are dealing with such a thing as “importance.” Zealand talks about “importance” as the main obstacle in choosing reality options. This is when we attach extreme value to something and try not to trust, but to control our world. Carrying the burden of importance, we doubt everything, including our goals. Is it possible to achieve anything if you are in doubt? This mechanism is based on limiting beliefs. These are decisions that helped us survive in childhood, but now hinder us from developing further and achieving our goals. For example, the decision “Be perfect,” that is, a very disciplined, obedient child. A child who, in order to scrupulously comply with all parental rules, put the entire world around him under strict control. Only to see at least a shadow of approval from the stern gods called “Mom and Dad.” Otherwise, you will have to admit that they were right in pointing out that you are the absolute worst idiot in this world. And he is not worthy not only of his worthless desires, but of his very existence on this planet. These and other ideas and beliefs are not a consequence of some abstract upbringing, but the result of decisions made in very specific situations. And in order to change them, you need to return there again, become a child. And, as they say, there is nothing worse than the monsters living under a child’s crib. And, believe me, it is better not to go there alone. At the same time with this work, I want to offer a meditative practice related to the Tarot. We are talking about the system of symbols and meanings that this old tradition offers. The first (zero) lasso invites you to touch the image of the Fool (or Jester). A person completely open to the world. Even ready to step into the abyss, remaining confident that the world loves him. Remember, there was a wonderful Hollywood film “Forest Gump”. It is precisely his main character who most of all reflects this state. Of course, as a result of meditation you will not become a fool, but the feeling that the world can and should be trusted will certainly appear. I suggest doing meditation and working with beliefs in parallel - each of them, in its own way, restores trust in the world, but together they give more quick effect. A sign that this stage has been completed is the disappearance of the last doubts that the set goal is possible. Sensoryness of the goal In order for our cherished desires to come true, it is not enough for us to have a clear formulation and believe in the possibility of achieving the goal. You must have the intention to implement it. I first encountered the concept of “intention” in the books of Carlos Castaneda, where he spoke about the teachings of the North American Indians. It talked about the power that transforms the world in accordance with human desires. In order for your intention to work, you must first of all clearly understand what exactly you want. “Imagine” means feeling it with your body, seeing it and hearing it. Zealand talks about the “target slide.” This is a picture of a world in which your goal has already been realized. The world in which you are located, act in the first person, move in it, communicate, enjoy the fruits of the achieved goal. A person must participate in its creation entirely - with a consciousness that is already devoid of doubts, a soul that is confident that it will be heard and a body that is preparing enter a new world. When creating a slide, various sensations will be born in the body. Perhaps pleasant.