From the author: It’s easy to destroy a relationship, but you’ll have to work hard to restore it. In this note, I want to touch on one of the many patterns of behavior of partners that destroy relationships. It’s easy to destroy a relationship, but you’ll have to work hard to restore it. In this note, I want to touch on one of the many patterns of behavior of partners that destroy relationships. Moreover, this applies not only to female-male relationships, but also to other forms of interpersonal relationships. “We are both stubborn, like two sheep,” some clients tell me about their relationship. This phrase means that everyone is ready to defend their point of view, position to the last “until it breaks.” In such relationships there is a lot of uncertainty, pain, restraint and anger and even violence. If something does not happen the way the partner wants, then he gets into a “pose” and takes a wait-and-see position, endures, waits until the other “realizes that he is wrong.” The game of silence can last a very long time, exhausting both. From the point of view of developmental psychology, such behavior is more typical of teenagers. Adolescence is characterized by protest behavior, resistance to what is imposed, and total insubordination. And if “adult” parents try to break resistance, then on the contrary it increases. The teenager begins to resist everything out of principle. Such behavior in adulthood may indicate that the individual is stuck in adolescence. The fact that in adolescence the individual’s needs were not supported by his parents, but on the contrary, his parents tried to change him and adjust him to their needs. The situation becomes aggravated when two “adult teenagers” meet. This is fertile ground for conflicts based on the need to protest and resist. Such relationships are likely to end in separation unless one of the partners takes a more mature position and becomes more flexible. A partner in a more adult position must provide support and acceptance of his partner’s resistance, that is, do what his parents did not do in adolescence. What does an adult position mean. This may be the ability to agree, compromise, recognize someone else’s point of view, be the first to make contact and stimulate dialogue, talk about your feelings to your partner, be attentive to your partner and be interested in him, take care of him. Of course, growing up is a rather long and painful process . And it is difficult to do without reliable support for this process. Such support and the development of abilities and behavior characteristic of an adult can be provided by psychological counseling and psychotherapy. It is not possible to change something without doing anything, without changing yourself. This applies to relationships in particular. Therefore, I wish you courage, awareness and positive changes. Sincerely, psychologist Anton Filippov.